Why Is Steve Harvey Giving Relationship Advice?

I know this topic may sound and very well be old, but I mentioned in a past post about Steve Harvey writing books about giving out relationship advice and questioning that. I’m sure so many other people questioned that, too. Like, why of all people, is Steve Harvey giving relationship advice? He’s on his third wife and is a cheater! Even Tony Rock called him out for this.

One thing I want to point out, too, is that whenever one celebrity calls out another celebrity for something, a lot of people have this knee-jerk reaction of saying they’re “hating” or “jealous” without giving themselves a chance to really think about what they’re saying. Most of the time, the one that’s being called out deserves to be called out and people need to listen. A lot of these celebrities are snakes and liars.

I didn’t know at first why Steve was giving out advice like that, but I knew something was fishy. As of recently, I think I figured out why. I believe it’s because his ex wife, Mary Harvey, started EXPOSING him for the things he did to her!

There are lots of other videos and interviews online of her exposing him, but this is the one I will share here because it’s all I need to get my point across. All this relationship crap he’s spewing is a front to cover all that up. Somebody in his camp reinvented him as a “relationship adviser” for DAMAGE CONTROL. It’s so obvious to me now. That’s all it is.

I feel sorry for the women who trusted him and read his sorry book and believed what he said. He took advantage of and scammed those women. And for the women who haven’t read his book yet, I warn you. DON’T! Don’t read ANY of his books or any book written by any man telling women how to get and/or keep a relationship. They’re all scams and misogynistic. If you read my post I mentioned at the beginning of this post, you will understand why. Don’t listen to any relationship advice he gives on his TV and radio shows. He should have ZERO business talking about relationships.

FUCK STEVE HARVEY!

Why Can’t People Just Compliment Dark Skinned Women?

I know we’ve all heard people say a dark skinned woman is “pretty to be dark”. I remember the episode a few years ago on Oprah’s Lifeclass show about colorism and a young woman was sharing her story about how people treated her for being dark skinned. One of the things she mentioned that hurt her was this “pretty to be dark” saying. And she said, “Why does it have to be all that? Why can’t I just be pretty?” Still to this day, her saying that really makes me feel for her and other dark skinned women who are going through the same thing.

For years, we’ve all heard the debates about who looked better on the show, Martin, between Gina (Tisha Campbell) and Pam (Tichina Arnold). Lots of people say Tichina Arnold looked better than Tisha Campbell and Tisha was “just light skinned”. I never realized how messed up this argument was until I started really thinking about it recently.

(Photo: Flickr)

(Photo: Flickr)

Why couldn’t people JUST call Tichina Arnold beautiful? People acted like Tisha Campbell was ugly or “average” just to say Tichina looked good, when Tisha wasn’t ugly or average at all. Tisha Campbell is very beautiful. Why couldn’t they both be beautiful?

People compare beautiful dark skinned women to light skinned women all the time before just calling them beautiful, like a dark skinned woman looking better than a light skinned woman is some kind of prize or shock.

People have to pretend a beautiful light skinned woman is ugly or average just to call a dark skinned woman beautiful and yet these same people will try to tell you that colorism doesn’t exist and we don’t have a problem with skin tones.

Why do people feel the need to do this if they didn’t think somewhere in their minds that light skin gets put on a pedestal and that there is some problem between light skin and dark skin?

On the flip side, no one really compares beautiful light skinned women to other people just to call them beautiful. They just call them beautiful and leave it at that. Does anyone compare Beyoncé’s looks to anyone before they call her beautiful or do they JUST call her beautiful? Does anyone compare Rihanna’s looks to anyone before calling her beautiful or do they JUST call her beautiful? What about Megan Good? Nicki Minaj? I could go on and on.

So after what I’ve said, why can’t people JUST compliment a dark skinned woman and leave it at that? Why does extra stuff have to be added to the compliment? Are people afraid to or feel some type of way about complimenting dark skinned women? Is comparing beautiful dark skinned women to light skinned women and acting like the light skinned woman isn’t that pretty the new “pretty to be dark”?

Is Black Women Wearing Weave Cultural Appropriation?

Whenever black women call out these white women or any other nonblack women who purposely and willingly copy things from black women and act like it’s some new thing, someone always says, “Well, what about black women wearing weave, blue/green eye contacts, and bleaching their skin? Aren’t they cultural appropriating?”

I think this question is stupid and deflecting. Instead of acknowledging that these nonblack women are copying black women and getting put on a pedestal while black women get overlooked or dogged out, they try to flip it on black women. Black women wearing weave, bleaching their skin, or wearing blue or green eye contacts is not cultural appropriation.

I feel like a lot of black women who do those things do it to feel more beautiful in a society that puts down black hair, skin, and features. White and other nonblack women who wear black women’s hairstyles, get surgeries to get black women’s body features, etc. aren’t getting those things to feel more beautiful because their looks are already the standard in this society.

Their looks are celebrated over black women’s in the media all the time. They copy our looks to be trendy and/or replace us in media and not to be more accepted because they will get accepted with or without the surgeries and hairstyles. Black women actually HAVE TO have lighter skin, straight hair, and a certain body shape to be accepted and celebrated in both media and regular society.

At the same time, although I believe black women altering their features is not cultural appropriating, I do believe it is wrong and hypocritical of us to cry and complain about other races of women “trying to look and be like us” when we’re sitting around with a straight blonde wig on or whenever we’re taking a picture online, we have to turn the brightness up to make our skin look lighter. We have a lot of nerve crying because some white woman wore braids when we don’t have our own hair in our heads.

One thing I’ve learned about white people is that they like to use people’s words against them. They know when they are cultural appropriating, but they like acting like they don’t know what it is. So, when they’re called out on it, they like flipping the script to, “Well, what about you?”

If we want to call them out for what they’re doing, we can at least not do the same thing they’re doing. We have to get rid of weaves and hair straightening, skin bleaching/photo lightening, different color eye contacts, or anything that remotely erases our blackness. It may not stop them cultural appropriating altogether, but at least they can’t use us as an excuse to keep doing it. We can call them out and actually hold them accountable for what they’re doing.

If we’re not going to stop with the straight hair and skin bleaching, we can’t say anything about them. They have a point when they say that. And we can’t bring up, “There are black women all over the world that have naturally straight hair and natural blue/green eyes,” when that’s not you. You don’t have naturally straight hair or natural blue or green eyes. That’s why you have to go buy it, so that’s an invalid argument.

We have to start accepting all of our features 100% with no altering. Then, and only then, will we be right in calling out all these nonblack women who are cultural appropriating. Until then, we can’t say anything.

Why Do We Run To White People & Other Races When We’re Mistreated By Each Other, But They Don’t Run To Us?

(Photo: needpix)

Years ago, before my enlightenment, I used to think very negatively about my own people. I used to believe every negative stereotype there was about black people. During my school years, I felt very mistreated by all the other black kids around me. I went to college and noticed that the white people treated me way differently than the black kids I went to school with. I felt like they were nicer and going to class was much easier. I used to go to suburbs and saw how much different everything was there compared to so many black neighborhoods. I used to think white people were soooo much better than my own people.

Now that I’m older and I’ve learned so much since then, I realized how ridiculous and stupid I was being. I hear so many stories from black people saying these very similar things. I’ve heard a lot of black people say they date interracially because other black people don’t treat them well or want to date them. I’ve heard a lot of black people say they don’t like hanging around other black people because of how they act and treat each other and say that they feel more comfortable and safer around nonblacks.

On the flip side, I’ve heard many stories of white people saying they were bullied and mistreated by other white people. But I’ve never heard a lot of white people saying they would rather hang out with us than their own people. I don’t hear a lot of white people saying we are better people than their own people. I don’t see a lot of Asians, Hispanics, or whathaveyou, say we are better people than their own people. They don’t put us on a pedestal like a lot of us put them on a pedestal.

After realizing this, I wonder, why do we do this? Why do we think other races of people are so much better than our own people? Why do we put so many other races of people above our own? Do we hate ourselves? Do we have a severe inferiority complex?

If so, I believe this has a lot to do with our history of being put down so much by white people and other races of people. And the fact that some of us think other races of people are so much better than our own people after all that they have done to us throughout history as well as the present is proof that there may be something seriously wrong with us.

Also, after realizing what I know now, I think our bad experiences with our own people is due to being in bad environments. I now look back on my school days and realize that it’s not that the black kids were bad. The environment they were in was bad, and in turn, it made them bad. The schools I was going to weren’t the best schools by far and they definitely weren’t in the best neighborhoods. What had happened when I went to college and “thought” the white people there treated me better was not that I stopped hanging around black people. I changed my ENVIRONMENT and went around better acting people, even though they weren’t my own people.

When we have bad experiences with our own people, I think we just need to change the type of people we choose to be around. Hang around BETTER black people. Good black people are not hard to find. Our negativity is what will make it hard. And we have to be careful of the schools we send our children to. Environment is VERY important. And we need to stop looking at a bunch of negative videos and stories about our own people, especially if we don’t look at a bunch of negative videos and stories about other races of people. It will distort our view of each other and make us hate each other when we can’t afford to hate one another.

I know our people aren’t perfect, but we’re not that bad either. We can’t allow ourselves to hate and look down on each other. We need to LOVE each other. We need UNITY.

Are We A Delusional Society?

(Photo: Flickr)

I think about posts that I have previously written on this blog about people denying obvious things like colorism, laughing at things we really shouldn’t be, holding up lies about our hair, our views on white people, arguing about whether mixed and other nonblack people are black, and missing things that have never actually gone away. It really makes me wonder are we living in a delusional society? Do we do these things because we’re delusional?

Every time someone talks about sexism and misogyny, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about racism, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about colorism, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about how corrupted the government is, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about how the things we see on television and hear on the radio influence our thoughts and behaviors, people get mad and deny it.

I can go on and on about how much crazy things go on in this society and how much people cry about and deny it when someone sheds a light on it.

I believe we do all this denying because this society is delusional. I think we love telling ourselves that America is such this great, noble, perfect country–a utopia–that’s greater and better than all other countries so much that when something comes up that completely proves that this isn’t true, many of us get upset.

But people, America is the furthest thing from the greatest, perfect country. There’s so many things we need to work on and get rid of before we can even begin thinking that our country and society is great and perfect.

We love holding up this idea that America is all sunshine and rainbows where everyone lives happily and equally and it’s just FALSE!

ICE is separating people from their families. Black people are still getting discriminated against and facing racism in many places, especially in Hollywood. They are just now passing laws in some states to protect black women against being discriminated against in workplaces for wearing their natural hair.

There’s a news story recently about three white students cutting a black student’s dreadlocks because they said it was “ugly”. We hear about all these mass shootings at schools and other pubic places. Women are getting raped and sexually harassed all over this country and many of these cases don’t get solved and many people like blaming the woman for being raped and sexually harassed. Unarmed black men are getting killed by police. Many LGBTQ people are being bullied, harassed, discriminated against, and killed for their sexualites.

We need to wake up and stop being so delusional about this. If we don’t, all these things are going to keep going on while we continue to lie to ourselves about it. History, as well as the present, has shown us what this country and society is all about, yet for some strange reason, we continue to think otherwise. It’s up to us to accept it and change it accordingly.

I often wonder if this mass delusion comes from a centuries long battle with abuse and oppression. I believe many people are afraid to stand up to the adversity in this country, so we convince ourselves that everything is fine or everything “isn’t that bad” so we won’t feel like we have to do anything about it. I also believe that this stuff has gone on for so long that we have convinced ourselves that everything that’s going on today is okay and normal. It’s the FURTHEST from it!

Nicki Minaj Opens Up About Past Toxic Relationships

Photo: (DeviantArt)

Dear all of you beautiful souls.

A man who loves you does not:

1. Humiliate you on social media
2. Beat you
3. Cheat on you
4. Call you out of your name/put you down to lower your self esteem due to his own insecurities.
5. Hide his phone, passwords, where abouts, etc.

I rlly used to think love had to hurt. So I could never look down on anyone else. We are merely human. It’s not easy to leave. Especially in the world of IG where all ppl want to do is post relationship goal pics for clout & attention. A man should make you feel safe, not afraid

I remember being so afraid to speak cuz I never knew when that person would be in a particular mood and I could maybe say one wrong thing that would get me hit. So the diff you see in me now is that feeling when a woman feels lifted up, safe, appreciated & unconditionally loved.

But I first had to learn how to love MYSELF. 🙏🏾 if you wouldn’t let a man treat your mother, your sister or best friend like that b/c you LOVE them, then you wouldn’t let a man treat YOU like that b/c you love YOU. This isn’t about judging. We judge too much. Lift them up. 🙏🏾

When u see a woman in a toxic relationship, rather than laugh & say mean things, try to offer sound advice from your heart & root for her to learn her worth. We’ve all been there. I saw my parents fight & argue non stop & never divorce, so I thought this was normal behavior…

I saw these series of tweets Nicki Minaj posted yesterday. Although I loved them all and I loved the message she sent, I also thought in the back of my mind what would make her talk about this after all these years. I wasn’t the only one who thought something was up when she tweeted about this because I saw a few replies under the tweets of people asking if she was okay. In the tweets, she mentioned being in toxic relationships in the past and learning how to love herself.

For some strange reason, I honestly believe she only talked about this to justify her relationship with her current significant other, Kenneth Petty. He was convicted of murder and is also a registered sex offender. After learning this, many people dragged her for being involved with this man.

Not only is this man a past convicted felon and registered sex offender due to attempted rape, more of their story of getting together just sounds outright messy. Nicki said, once, that she cheated on a past boyfriend for him and how Petty beat him up. And I saw on a video Chrissie uploaded on YouTube (featured below) that he himself admitted to cheating on his partner for Nicki AND told his partner that he’s only with Nicki to get up on a bag. The story just sounds like a HOT MESS!

Although I personally don’t care who she’s involved with romantically, I think people have a right to feel some type of way for any woman to be involved with a man who has such a past and probably deserves the dragging. I feel like even more so, she has fans that love her and want what’s best for her. I don’t think some of her fans like seeing her being involved with this man.

I believe Nicki Minaj is fully aware of what people have been saying online about her being involved with this man. At first, she was going off on people criticizing her relationship on her podcast, Queen Radio. Now, I feel like she released these series of tweets looking for sympathy or trying to shift the narrative so people can think, “Oh, she’s happy. She’s with a man who loves her” instead of thinking, “She’s with a murderer and a rapist!”

Don’t think for one second that these celebrities aren’t reading people’s comments and social media posts. Just because they don’t respond to every single one or say nothing at all doesn’t mean they don’t read them. This is proof that celebrities DO read people’s comments AND care about what people say about them.

I believe Cardi B did this exact same thing this past week when XXL released an article talking about how fans believe Travis Scott’s album, Astroworld, should have won the Grammy for best album over Cardi B’s album, Invasion of Privacy.

She, too, put out a series of tweets talking about how hard she worked on the album even while sick and pregnant to defend herself and say she deserved the win.

On my album I showed different sides of me.From my intro talking about my pass. To living my best life inspiring people.Relationship songs while I was going thru my own relationship drama to shaking ass like Bodak & that ASS .Every song went platinum!

I did it all while I was pregnant.Throwing up, drowsy,terrible colds and in a rush to finish it so I can start doing music videos before I started showing .I spend 24 hours for months sleeping on a couch with my pregnant depressed ass in a studio .

I wasn’t even thinking of winning or even the Grammies. All I can think about was …everybody is disappointed in me,am I still going to have a career after this baby ? Is this album going to make me or break me ? I need to finish before I start showing .

All while I just separated from my long time manager.I had to get my husband to talk to my label cause I never had a relationship with them so we all came together to relocate me to Atlanta and Miami to finish my album before my stomach start showing.

When i kept seeing the certifications of the songs going gold or platinum I was so excited cause my husband was out here asking everybody for a feature on my behalf so the ones that said yes thank you from the bottom of my heart cause TRUST ME ALOT OF ARTIST SAID NO!

So when I won a Grammy for it I didn’t have no words to say but when I went home I started reminiscing on what I went thru during that period I was like YEA BITCH YOU DESERVE THIS SHIT !abd until this day my shit still charting .

Just like with Nicki’s tweets, I wondered why Cardi was tweeting this stuff as well. I believe she did this to shift the narrative from people saying, “She doesn’t deserve it!” or “Other albums were better!” to “She’s worked so hard. Maybe she actually does deserve her Grammy”.

I honestly feel like other albums were more deserving of the Grammy myself, but we need to learn that Grammys don’t always go to the people that deserve it most or worked the hardest. The Grammy committee gives the Grammy to who THEY feel like they want to give the Grammy to. It’s not about who WE or an other artist feels deserve it.

There are lots of amazing albums that weren’t even nominated that I’m SURE was way better than Cardi B’s. And I listened to her album. I liked some songs on there, but I wouldn’t say it deserved a Grammy.

These awards shows always have and always will be SHAMS! Many people have called this out in the past, but some of y’all called them bitter and jealous “because they didn’t win one”. Now y’all are starting to see it. It’s funny how it takes for someone y’all don’t like to win a Grammy before y’all admit to yourselves how fake and phony they are. But I digress.

Again, all of this tweeting that Cardi and Nicki are doing is just them looking for sympathy and/or shifting the narrative of the comments directed towards them. And I feel that people should NOT fall it. It’s all a game!

Female Rap Is Taking Over!

Everyone is talking about Jermaine Dupri’s comments about today’s popular female rappers, saying they are “strippers rapping” and they rap about the same things all the time. Although I agree, I feel like him saying this is one sided and I feel like men saying and agreeing with this without checking male rappers are only threatened by the influx of upcoming female rappers.

Having this view about female rappers is one sided because the male rappers are no different. How many popular male rappers are there that aren’t rapping about drugs, sex, bitches, and hoes in every song? I’ve seen so many women ask this question in response to this statement about female rappers and the men name literally the same handful of male rappers: Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, and Drake. Like every man who responded literally named these same few every single time. None of them named anyone different. If you can’t name more than three to five popular (keyword here) male rap artists that don’t rap about degenerate nonsense, what does that tell you?

Men are only attacking female rappers because it’s on the rise now. More people are starting to listen to and check for female rappers. The female rappers are doing better on the charts and selling more than a lot of male rappers right now.

Female rap is on the rise and it’s taking over and men are starting to feel threatened. That’s the truth!

Cardi B responded to these statements and I couldn’t agree more. Here’s her response: