I’ve been hearing people say for years that they pray that they never have daughters because they’re afraid she will grow up to sleep with a lot of boys and dress in revealing clothing. As a matter of fact, I remember a particular conversation some girls were having when I was in middle school, where one of them said they didn’t want a daughter because they would be trying to sneak out of the house with boys and things of that nature, and other girls agreed with her.
This made me ponder, ‘Why are people so afraid of having daughters that they think about them being sexually active or what type of clothes they will be wearing before they’re even born, but no one’s ever afraid of having sons that grow up to beat, rape, and/or sexually harass women? I’ve never heard anybody say, “I never want a son because boys grow up to abuse women”.
So many people swear that their daughters will grow up to be a “whore” and live in constant fear of that with every passing year their daughters grow up, but nobody ever believes that their sons will grow up to be abusers, despite the fact that the number of women getting abused by men continues to remain high every year. I know a lot of people will say, “I raised my sons better than that.” Okay. You trust you raised your son better than to be an abuser, but you don’t trust your daughter’s sexuality?
Also, I believe it’s more likely that a boy will grow up to be an abuser or rapist than a girl will grow up to be the sexually active person so many people fear they will. I hate to say that, but hearing all these stories about women getting abused and raped by men makes me believe that.
Why are people more afraid of their daughters being sexually active and wearing revealing clothing than they are of their sons growing up to be abusers? Why does a girl’s sexuality have so many people in fear of having daughters, but men abusing women doesn’t make anyone afraid to have sons?
On the flip side, I’ve heard people say that they didn’t want to have daughters because of how many abusers there are in the world and they don’t want their daughters to go through that. Again, why does men abusing women make so many people afraid to have daughters, but it doesn’t make them afraid to have sons?
I believe this is deep rooted misogyny and sexism. And I believe when some people say they don’t want to have daughters because they’re “afraid they’re going to get abused”, they say that to make it seem like their fear of having a daughter is a good thing and isn’t deep rooted in misogyny.
The real reason you don’t want to have a daughter is because you hate girls and women. You’ve been brainwashed to believe girls are more difficult to raise than boys. The truth is people just care more about their girls because this society is built on controlling women, especially sexually. So much so, that they try to do it long before they’re even born. So many people out there don’t care about what their sons do. Their sons do whatever they want while they’re putting a microscope on their daughters.
And I’ve heard both men and women say they pray that they never have daughters because of both of these reasons, so I don’t want men and women coming under this post to point fingers at each other about who says it or doesn’t. I’ve heard a lot of women in my life repeat internalized sexist ideas.
So many people are so eager to control the sexualities of their young girls so much, but they never talk about how they’re going to control their sons from abusing girls and women as they grow up.
How are any of you more afraid of how your daughters’ sexualities might be than you are of your sons being abusers? How are your daughters’ sexualities more of a threat to you than your sons being abusers, harassers, and rapists? You’re more afraid of female sexuality than you are of violence. I will never understand that.