When Black Men Diss Black Women, They Don’t Realize They’re Also Dissing Themselves

Over the years, I’ve heard many black men use statistics of all kinds to attack black women and treat them like they’re less than black men and aren’t good enough for black men. I’m pretty sure anyone who reads this post will know exactly what I’m talking about and have seen black men do this online themselves.

What black men don’t realize is that these statistics that they use to attack black women about are also a huge reflection of themselves. In this post, I’m going to name a few things I’ve seen many black men attack black women for online and explain how those very same things can be applied to them as well.

“Black women are the least likely women in the world to get married.” So many black men online love repeating this statistic like it doesn’t apply to them. But if black women are less likely to get married, what does that say about black men? It says that there’s a huge percentage of black men that aren’t marrying their own women! How are you complaining about black women being unmarried when it is YOUR job to marry them? Why aren’t you marrying your women? Also, they repeat this statistic like they’re getting married at a much higher rate than black women. Black men aren’t very likely to get married compared to other races of men in the world themselves.

Many black men will say it’s because of black women’s attitudes and they’re just not good enough to marry. But what makes them so good enough to marry black women? Many of these black men who repeat this statistic are not marriage material themselves. Many of them are abusers, cheaters, and users of women.

If you pay attention, almost, if not all of these black men who repeat this statistic online, are never married or been in a healthy, long term relationship with a black woman, or any woman, for that matter. Or if they have been married, they’ve been divorced multiple times. How do they get to talk so much about black women not being married when they can’t even get at least a long term relationship with a woman?

If they think marriage is so special and they know the type of woman that they want, how come they can never find and marry these women? When black women end up with the wrong men, they say black women are looking in the wrong places for men and never giving good men a chance. Are these types of black men looking in the wrong places for women and not giving good women a chance? Or do they just know that no woman would ever want to be with them, especially long term? And if they do get this good woman that they claim they want, they’re going to do nothing, but dog her and ruin her self esteem and her life.

“There’s a huge percentage of black women that are single mothers and they are ruining the black community by raising fatherless children.”          This can easily be reflected on black men by me saying that this statement means that black men are impregnating large percentages of black women across this country, abandoning black women to take care of their children on their own, and have the audacity to mock and attack black women for something they did.

If there weren’t so many black men sleeping with black women unprotected and leaving them when they get pregnant, they wouldn’t have to worry about there being so many single mothers in the black community. And if these black men think that children being fatherless are destroying the black community, why aren’t they staying with their children? Why do they keep abandoning them? And if they aren’t yet ready to take care of child, why do they keep creating them?

There are also black men who say that there are so many black single mothers because black women “don’t know how to choose to the right man to get pregnant by”. But what is that saying about black men if there’s this many black men impregnating women and then abandoning them? Why is there so many black men that aren’t stepping up to the plate and raising the children that they are creating?

I honestly believe the real reason why so many black men hate single mothers is because THEY KNOW it is a reflection of their failures as men and as fathers. One of the worst things a father can do to a child is abandon them. From the way I see it, if a man abandons his child, he is a failure as a man.

When they look around the black community and see so many single mothers and so many fatherless children, it makes them think, are we this much of a failure to our women and children? But instead of taking that thought and doing better as men and fathers, they project and flip it in a way to attack black women.

“Most black women have multiple kids by multiple men.”                         My response to this statement is pretty much the same as black men’s statements about single mothers. They love picking black women apart for being single mothers, but they don’t see how that reflects on themselves. Just like how they don’t see how this statement reflects back on them. What is it saying about black men that the majority of black women have children by multiple men? It’s saying that the majority of black men are sleeping around with different women, having children with them, and then leaving. With many of them not even making an effort to take care of the children they created at all.

It’s easy for black men to sit up on a high horse and criticize black single mothers with multiple kids because black women are more likely to stay with their children, no matter how many they have. So, of course, it’s going to look like they have a lot of kids.

Black men, on the other hand, can have a child, abandon them, then pretend they don’t have any kids. But if these black men were single fathers who stayed with the kids they created, you would see that they will have multiple kids by multiple mothers, just like how they complain about black women having multiple kids by multiple men. And would more than likely have more kids than single black mothers.

It’s a shame that black women are criticized for staying with their kids and being smart and strong enough to leave the men that didn’t work out for them, while black men who abandon their children time and time again get a free pass.

“Too many black women are overweight or obese.”                                                       Not only do black men who say this rarely talk about how there’s a huge number of them who are overweight and obese also (when they do, it’s only after black women call them out for not talking about themselves), they don’t realize that the “overweight” women include the “thick” women they are constantly swooning over, not just the women who are too big for their liking. Most thick women are overweight by medical and statistics standards. They also like to pick on black women who are thin for not only being too skinny, but also for not having big boobs or a big butt. And don’t let her be athletic and muscular. They’ll say she looks like a man, especially if she’s dark skinned! They complain about black women being overweight, but don’t even like the women who aren’t overweight.                                                                                         

“Black women who date white men are bedwenches.”                                       These types of black men who are always complaining about and criticizing black women are always crying whenever they see a black woman in a relationship with a white man (at the same time saying they don’t care who black women date; we know that’s a lie), but they never talk about how black men date outside of their race at a much higher rate than black women. They are also constantly putting nonblack women on a pedestal over black women ALL THE TIME!

This ties into what I said about them not marrying their women, yet complaining about their women not being married. They don’t want to marry their own women, but get mad when their women marry men outside of their race. You don’t want to marry your women. Who else is going to marry them if you don’t? You don’t want to marry your own women, yet you hate when they’re single or marry outside of their race? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

Also, doesn’t this sound a lot like what abusers do to their victims? Tell and convince them that no one else wants them, but the abusers don’t want anyone else to have them?

These statements prove to me that black men who say these things not only severely lack self awareness, they severely lack accountability as well. They never think any kind of critique applies to them, but they think every critique applies to black women. I previously wrote a post on my blog about men (of all races, not just black men) hating accountability. Lacking accountability is huge for men, regardless of how much they claim women hate accountability.

Writing this post reminded me of a comment I saw on a YouTube channel some time ago that said something along the lines of, “Black men only talk about black women’s statistics because they are embarrassed about their own”. And I couldn’t agree more! That’s exactly why they do it!

If you know of any other negative statements you’ve heard black men say about black women that also reflects negatively back on them that I missed, leave them in the comments.

Author: mysparkingthoughts

I am a young woman with a whole lot to say. I see myself as some type of messenger.

11 thoughts on “When Black Men Diss Black Women, They Don’t Realize They’re Also Dissing Themselves”

  1. @mysparklingthoughts

    P.S. a lot of our people live through these black celebrities . I have seen too many of our people happy seeing a full dark skin black family especially if the wife is fully black. A lot of these black celebrities are selling a fake family image to the black masses. These black male athletes are the biggest seller s because the black family man image brings endorsements .


    1. Exactly. These people live through these black celebrities all while not knowing what’s really going on in their homes. They don’t know if there’s abuse or cheating going on in their homes and the news doesn’t always report it. Black people are just tired of seeing so many black celebrities marry outside their race, so they’re overly happy when they finally do see a full black celebrity family.


  2. •••••••••••Off Topic••••••••••••
    I have so many question about the overturn of abortion. This is mostly about preserving the white population growth because they are on a decrease. They were never concern about black women having the highest abortion rate of aborting black babies. Why because they didn’t give a damn.This is another reason which cause our population growth not to grow. Plan parenthood was use against us for population control.Furthermore we have a increase of black women dying during the pregnancy or giving birth.

    A lot of these abortions in the community can stop if irresponsible black men & women of the community stop having unprotected sex. If you’re a woman that was rape or having health issues of caring a child that might lead to abortion, or a you’re carrying that will lead to health issues this message doesn’t apply to you.

    Also I would like to know the class status of those black women that are having abortions. Why because if she have more to lose in life an don’t want to struggle with a child will lead her to having abortion. The should nots in the community are still birthing children.

    This Roe vs Wade is the fight for protecting & preserving the white race. This shit never had anything to do with black women but decrease the black population growth.


  3. I have noticed that black women do online get overly happy when there’s a dark skinned male celebrity that has a dark skinned wife. I never thought much of it at first, but like you said, black men and black women dating each other should be normal. The fact that many black people view it as surprising when they see it on TV shows that there’s some very deep issues with black people, especially in Hollywood. And I do believe there are some black women who project their insecurities, then blame it on colorism. I’ve seen so many stories on social media where someone would talk about how dark skinned girls bullied light skinned girls in school just for being light skinned and black women online would justify it by saying, “Maybe they sensed something wrong about those light skinned girls”. If the light skinned girls did or said nothing wrong to them, there was no reason for them to treat the light skinned girls like that. The dark skinned girls were just jealous of the light skinned girls they bullied and projected their insecurities on the light skinned girls and that’s something a lot of dark skinned women don’t like admitting. Projecting insecurities is a huge thing with a lot of black women.


  4. Black men take there frustration out on black men because they have failed as men. Every since the “Black African Men” in the diaspora have been conquered by “Non Black Men” they have no power. The women & children have seen these men in our communities be defeated. They can’t protect themselves as men and they definitely not going to be able to protect black women & children. On a global level black men have degraded black women and allowed others races to degraded black women as well. Black men have allowed other races to businesses in our communities then disrespect the people in the community. Black men depend on other races of men to build for their own communities instead of building for themselves. Black men would rather brag & seek validation about being sexually used by other races of women .

    P.S. these same black men that disrespect black women have a even more deeper disdain for black men. These coward know that a man is physically stronger then a woman so they can over power her. When these black men come across another black men they are in fear or it’s going to be a physical confrontation that my lead to death. The only time black men feel he’s in power is when he’s physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally, and sexually using his power over black women & children.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. @mysparklingthoughts
        My friend the other day made a comment about a dark skin black male singer she like. She made a statement saying, “ he’s so underrated as a artist..”Then she mention, “ he’s a black man that appreciates dark skin women.” It suppose natural & normal for a black man & black woman to naturally like each since we’re from the same race. This is embarrassing as well as quit telling the mind frame our people are actually in. My friend even mention one day to me, I surprise you like light skinned men because most of the men you mention are dark skin men. When I look at a light or dark skinned black man, I’m more focus on us he attractive . I’m worrying about skin color, hair, or facial features. My friend even mention dark skinned black women have a hard time dating. Yes colorism exist but I’m starting to believe she pushing her insecurities into making it a every black woman issues. What are your thoughts?

        Liked by 1 person

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