This is another excuse people use to dismiss colorism. When a dark skinned person talks about how people have treated them poorly because of their dark skin, people will respond with saying, “It’s not because you’re dark skinned. You’re just ugly”.
The issue I have with this saying is that people say it like that makes what they’re doing any better. Disrespecting, mistreating, overlooking, discriminating against, and looking down on a person because of how they look is just as bad. Hating someone over something they can’t change is bad.
Mistreating someone because of how they look is like any other type of discrimination, like racism and sexism. But because discriminating against someone for how they look doesn’t have a name or movements of activism behind it like racism and sexism does, for example, people don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
Also, there’s more to colorism than passing a dark skinned person up in the dating department. A lot of people try to reduce colorism to just that. But colorism is really about discriminating against and disrespecting someone just because they’re dark skinned. I see that happening way too much for me to sit here and act like it doesn’t happen.
Secondly, I think this saying is not only an excuse, it’s also another lie amongst the many lies people have when denying colorism. If people didn’t have any issue with dark skin, why are there so many names and words out there that are used specifically to insult people with dark skin? If it’s never about someone being dark skinned, then those words and names wouldn’t exist. Yet, they do. And people use them ALL. THE. TIME.
The people who have been mistreated because of their dark skin can tell you all the names they’ve been called all their lives. If it was just about someone’s looks, they’ll just comment on their looks. But instead, not only do they comment on their looks, they have to insult their dark skin, too.
You ever wonder why there’s barely any dark skinned stars in Hollywood, especially dark skinned female stars? And if there are, they most likely are always playing derogatory roles or “fight the power” roles? It’s because a lot of people in this country, black and nonblack, are highly colorist and racist and hate seeing dark skinned people. Yet, they love denying it constantly. Proof of colorism has always been in our faces. People just don’t like accepting or admitting to it.
I’ve noticed that a lot of black men and women online who date or marry interracially love to talk down about their own people. They are always talking about what they hate about each other, how much they aren’t attracted to each other, or how much happier they are dating interracially.
I’ve always asked myself whenever I see those types of comments that: If these black men and women are so happy dating interracially, why are they still talking about each other so much? Why don’t they just take their nonblack partner and be happy and just leave each other alone? Because I feel like that would be the most simple solution. If you’re so happy dating interracially, why would there still be an urgent need to talk about each other so much?
The more I thought about this question, the more I began to believe that this just might be a side effect that black people experience while interracial dating or promoting it. And there are a few reasons why I believe these side effects occur.
One of the reasons is, I believe, deep down, black people feel like they aren’t supposed to be dating interracially at all. So, all the negative talk is them looking for excuses to keep doing it anyway. They would even use negative stories about each other in the news and negative statistics as an excuse for why they date interracially.
Another reason is that, deep down, they feel like the only way to appeal to other races of people is to hate their own people. I believe that these people are, knowingly or unknowingly, trying to appeal to the racist side of these people of other races. Deep down, they think that they have a higher chance of attracting other races of people by showing that they hate their own people.
The other reason I have is that these black men and women are only dating/marrying interracially to spite each other. Based on some of the stories I’ve heard online and in real life, a lot of black men and women feel hurt by each other. A lot of them feel rejected, abused, used, unattractive to, and/or cheated by each other, and they’re just tired of it. They don’t really want to date interracially. They want to date their own people, but they don’t feel like their own people treat them right. So, they date interracially to be happier or get revenge on each other.
And I’m pretty sure there are some of those who only talk negatively about each other and promote interracial dating/marriage just for attention on social media. They’re only doing it to get people talking about them and get likes or whatever they’re looking for.
But also, another main thing I noticed is that a lot of black women who date or promote dating interracially hate when black men date interracially and vice versa. It’s the huge hypocrisy for me that has me questioning even more. If these people think dating and marrying their own people is so bad, why are they so mad when they see each other dating interracially? I thought that was their main point. I think this is yet another side effect of interracial dating. Dating interracially has them confused. They don’t know what they really want.
I’m just tired of seeing black people throw each other under the bus just because they want to date/marry interracially. They can really just go do it and be happy, but they won’t. There’s probably many more reasons than what I named here for why black people do this, but those are the only ones I can think of for now. I’m starting to believe black people have these side effects because they feel like they aren’t supposed to be dating interracially in the first place.
Many of us have noticed over the course of many years that black actors win Oscars or Academy Awards mostly for bad roles, like playing slaves or maids. Lots of black people used to speak out and against that. But some would say, “You’re just being negative! Just be happy for them!”
When I started hearing people say that, I realized that some black people don’t even care that black actors have to mostly play derogatory roles in order to win these awards. That’s how desperate some black people are to see black actors win these awards.
It’s already bad enough that very few black actors have won Oscars in movies no matter how good their performance is compared to how many white people win. So I understand why some people don’t care anymore. I guess some of us just want to see our actors win that badly. But I think we should never be that desperate to see our people win these awards!
Viola Davis would’ve never gotten an Oscar or the amount of fame she has now had she not played a maid. It had to take Lupita Nyong’o to not only play a slave, but get whipped stark naked in a movie to win hers and get the amount of fame she has today.
She would have never gotten called Most Beautiful Woman by People magazine in 2014 had she not done that role. Not to say that she doesn’t deserve to be named that because she is very beautiful. But I have to be honest, her playing that slave role is the only reason she got that accolade. Viola and Lupita are only two of many more examples out there of this.
If black actors barely win these awards and when they do, they most likely have to play a derogatory role, it’s pretty obvious that these award shows are racist. And if they’re racist, we shouldn’t want them anyway. Why do our people want these racist awards so badly?
Every year the Oscars comes around, I hear the same complaints from black people about how little or no black people are even nominated, let alone win. As long as this has been going on with these award shows, why aren’t we tired enough of complaining about the same things about these shows to want to leave them alone and abandon them? Our lack of support of these award shows is more powerful than our constant complaining, yet continuing to support them and watch them every year.
There’s lots of black award shows out there that award black people. Why don’t we feel as strongly about those as we do about the Oscars?
I think black people should’ve forgotten about and boycotted these awards a long time ago. They clearly don’t want to give them to black people. And, to be honest, they shouldn’t have to because they created the awards. They can give them to whoever they want. Are we afraid of boycotting and forgetting about these award shows?
For many years, black people have been asking for police to stop brutalizing and killing our people and for any officer who does to be punished and to lose their jobs.
For many years, many cops have gotten away with killing unarmed people. They never get sent to prison and if they do, they get very small sentences. They get PAID leave and GoFundMes set up for them like they’re victims.
As a result, our people have been protesting and rioting because they won’t listen to us. They won’t listen to us telling them to stop peacefully and they’re not listening to us telling them to stop when we riot. So what else is left to do?
Our people created the Black Lives Matter slogan and organization to fight back against this treatment. But recently, another slogan has risen to popularity—Defund The Police.
A lot of people on social media acted like they didn’t know what Defund The Police meant, just like they acted like they didn’t know what Black Lives Matter meant. But Defund The Police means lowering the funds that go to the police department and putting them towards other things, like housing and education.
My issue with Defund The Police is that it’s not what we’re asking for. We’re asking for justice for the unarmed black people that they kill. We’re asking for any police officer to be locked up for a good amount of time if they do that. We’re asking for officers to lose their jobs if they do that. We’re asking for officers to not get paid if they do that.
The government can “defund” the police all they want, but it’s not going to stop the police from brutalizing and murdering unarmed people. I remember so many politicians this year talking about how much they were going to punish people who “looted and burned” at protests against the police. But I didn’t hear any of them talk about what they were going to do about these abusive and murdering cops.
Some people cheered and were happy about Kyle Rittenhouse shooting three people at a protest in Kenosha, Wisconsin. These people were more mad at people protesting against the cops than they were mad at cops murdering people. If the cops stopped murdering people, the protests will stop, but they don’t want to think about that.
I believe the media or whoever it is, is trying to get people to support Defund The Police to distract us from asking for justice and for these cops to be punished. I feel like Defund The Police is a slap in the face to us. They’re basically telling us they’re going to do NOTHING about these murderous cops. They want us to be happy with the police being “defunded” instead. They’re going to continue getting away with killing unarmed people. So, I think we need to be careful about supporting that.
We didn’t ask for police to be “defunded”. We asked for justice! Keep asking for justice! Don’t let them derail us!
A reader of mine brought to my attention that interracial dating isn’t always sunshine and rainbows like some black people make it seem like. I didn’t really know what to say about this. But this video I found on YouTube, which I will share at the end of this post, is perfect for what I needed to say here.
This video highlighted a story of a black woman finally coming forward about the abuse she suffered from her nonblack husband. The focus of the video is that nowadays, interracial dating is more promoted and glorified like they’re better than black relationships, but in a lot of those relationships, the black partner is dealing with abuse. And I’ve heard many stories about black people dealing with racism from their nonblack partner’s family or the nonblack partners themselves.
Now, I’m not using this video to discourage people from dating interracially. Because I’ve heard many stories about black women talking about the abuse they suffered from black men and vice versa. So in a lot of cases, black relationships aren’t always better either.
I honestly don’t really care about interracial dating to be honest. I just don’t like how black people are always so loud about the abuse they endure from each other. They can’t wait to share a story about a black man abusing a black woman or a black woman killing a black man and use these stories as an excuse to promote interracial dating, but when stories of racism, abuse, and murder happen with interracial couples, no one is saying anything because it goes against their agenda.
I want black people to start treating each other better. And I don’t want black people glorifying interracial relationships like they’re any better because in a lot of cases, they’re not. Check out the video below if you like and let me know what you think of it.
This is very disturbing to me, but I have been wondering about this for a while. I feel like most black people only love conscious Pro-Black people after they have died or gone to prison. And I feel like that because of how I see most black people treating conscious black people.
I hear lots of black people talking about how much they love Huey from The Boondocks and wished there were more people like him in the world or praise the likes of people like Marcus Garvey and Malcolm X. But when it’s our people living today that talk about conscious Pro-Black stuff, so many of our people dismiss them, calling them “hotep” or some other name they come up with. And if Huey from The Boondocks actually existed, NO ONE would listen to him! Just like it’s depicted in the cartoon!
I often find myself wondering how us black people are still acting so lost when we had so many people fighting for us and teaching us how to empower ourselves throughout history. I now believe this is why. Our people don’t listen to these people for real. If our people actually did listen, we wouldn’t be complaining about as much things as we do now.
So many people throughout history have told us the real deal about this country and how we need to unify, love ourselves, stop begging white people for everything and start doing things for ourselves if we want to really free ourselves from white supremacy. But from the looks of our people today, we haven’t applied what they taught us very well.
I’ve seen lots of our people talk about conscious people who are still alive that say these things and people dismiss them as being “agents” because they’re not dead or in prison. I’ve literally heard people say that. It seems like our people are so traumatized by our leaders getting murdered and imprisoned that we don’t even consider anyone a leader unless they have been murdered or imprisoned.
Just because someone hasn’t been murdered or imprisoned when they’re speaking on the real doesn’t always mean that they aren’t telling the truth. We still need to listen. Maybe the reason why they haven’t been murdered or imprisoned is because most people aren’t listening to them. The Powers That Be don’t see them as a threat because they see how so many people are dismissing them or simply don’t know about them at all.
Our people only love and praise these people after they have died, gone to prison, or are fictional. And then after that, we STILL don’t listen to them. It’s so sad. That’s exactly what The Powers That Be want. They want us to love the conscious people who are dead, in prison or fictional because they aren’t/no longer a threat. If we listen to the ones who are real, free, and alive, that would be threatening and might actually make real change.
For a while, I’ve been thinking about some of the things black people say about themselves. A fellow reader of mine brought this to my attention as well. I’ve noticed that a lot of times, black people like to say things such as:
“Black people are God’s chosen children.”
“Black people are Gods.”
“Black people are kings and queens.”
“Black people are the original and first human beings on this planet.”
“Black people have melanin and that makes us powerful, valuable, and special.”
“Black people are magic” or “Black Girl Magic”.
Now, I will compare this to the things I’ve heard many black people say about white people:
“White people came from caves in the Caucasus mountains.”
“Black people taught white people how to bathe.”
“White people spent centuries calling black people monkeys, but they’re the ones with the rhesus monkey DNA.”
“White people have Neanderthal DNA.”
“White people force superiority over other races because they’re the ones who are inferior.”
“White people sleep with animals.”
One of the issues I have with black people saying these things is because if they really believe these things, why don’t they act like it? They say all these things about themselves and white people only to beg them for equality. If you’re Gods, why would you want to be equal to anyone or anything else? Why are you begging to be “equal” to a people you JUST said came from caves and you taught them to bathe?
The other issue is, and this is what my reader said, is that saying these things keeps our people living in a fantasy land, and I believe saying these things blinds them from what they’re really going through collectively. Since black people say we’re Gods and kings and queens, how is it working out for us? How is our melanin saving us? How is being God’s chosen people helping us? I think saying all these things, especially if we don’t act like we truly believe it, makes us walk around with over inflated egos and a huge chip on our shoulders because all I hear is black people brag about themselves after saying it.
Black people say all these things, then turn around and have to beg white people for jobs and representation in their media. They beg white people to put black characters in their cartoons. They beg white people to make black dolls in their doll companies. You Gods, as you claim, can’t do that yourselves? Why do you need anyone else to do that for you? They say all these things, then have to beg white people to simply see that we “matter” with these Black Lives Matter protests. Gods and kings and queens need to beg someone else to see that they “matter” just as much as anyone else? Gods have to beg a people they claim came from caves that they matter?
Black people are always begging white people to give them more Grammys, Oscars, and whatever other award they created. Gods need validation from a people they claim came from caves? Gods can’t make their own awards and give them to their people themselves?
They sit online and say anybody can be and claim to be black. How, when they claim they’re God’s chosen people? According to them, God chose a specific people. God chose THEM! If that’s the case, it’s HIGHLY insulting and stupid to say anybody can be and claim to be them. And the only time they care about how stupid that statement sounds is when they’re being replaced and erased by other people that aren’t them. They say all these things about themselves and white people, then turn around and talk like white people are better to date and marry than their own people. They say all these things while we have to live under a white owned and created government. Why don’t black people have their own government if they believe all these things?
On the other side, look at how so many black people treat themselves and each other. If black people believed they were all these kings, queens, and Gods, then why do so many black people kill each other? Why are so many black fathers walking away from their children and leaving their women to raise them on their own? Why do so many black children get abused by their parents? Why are so many black men raping their women? Why are so many black people hooked on drugs and alcohol? Why are so many black people living in poverty? Why are there so many missing black children? Why can’t we stop our children from going missing?
Why do so many black people bleach their skin? I thought they said melanin was powerful. If it’s so powerful, why are so many of them trying to erase it? Why do so many of them make fun of and look down on dark skinned people? If melanin is powerful, why aren’t the darkest people amongst us celebrated by black people instead of the lightest people amongst us? Why do so many of them feel the need to bleach their skin like that and straighten their hair to fit in with the rest of the world if they are the original people of the earth? Why do they feel the need to look like people that aren’t?
Every time black people are criticized for something, they say, “White people do it, too.” But if they claim to be Gods or God’s chosen people and they claim that white people came from caves, that’s pretty much the point. They aren’t supposed to be doing ANYTHING that white people do, if that’s the case. Doing any of those things is bad when anybody does it, but if black people claim they’re Gods or God’s chosen people and they do any of these things, it’s WAY WORST!
Black people are also always complaining about how other races of people appropriate their culture and benefit off of it in ways that they can’t themselves. If black people are all these kings, queens, and Gods, why don’t they have the power to stop them? Black people are always complaining about police officers beating and killing unarmed black people. Why don’t we have the power to stop them? Why is it happening at all? If black people are Gods, kings, and queens, how did they allow people who they claim came from caves and haven’t been on this planet as long as them have so much power over them? How did we allow them to take our power?
I believe black people only say these things because they collectively have severe low self esteem, and like I’ve said several times on my blog, and I will most likely be saying it lots more, that low self esteem is due to a centuries long battle with slavery and oppression. And like I said earlier, saying these things keeps our people living in a fantasy. We say these things because we want to feel better about ourselves and what we’re going through. If we tell ourselves we’re Gods, kings, and queens, we can live in a world where we’re these powerful and special beings. But in real life, many of our people are going through hell. If black people actually believed these things they say about themselves and white people, NONE of the things our people are going through would be going on at all and they definitely wouldn’t be kissing up to and begging white people the way they do.
Get out of the fantasy world! Black people are not Gods, God’s chosen people, kings, or queens. They are REGULAR HUMAN BEINGS!
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard a black person say that other black people treat them so badly that they would rather hang out with white people because white people treat them so much better. Or how many black people have said other black people weren’t interested in dating them until they started dating white people.
A lot of black people like to laugh at people who say this and call them coons, but before you do that, think for a second. There’s a reason why these people feel this way. And they tell us all the time. These are genuine feelings these people feel. Black people shouldn’t treat each other so bad that our people don’t even feel comfortable and accepted by us.
We as black people are always complaining about how white people treat us. We’re always complaining about how white people negatively profile us and kill unarmed black people, which are legit reasons for us to be upset. However, in our own communities, the crimes and murders committed against each other is way higher. Black people are more likely to be hurt and/or killed by another black person way more than by a white person.
And don’t get me started on how so many black people project colorism on each other. So many of our people say, do, and think the worst about dark skinned people. We get mad about Hollywood not putting enough dark skinned people in the media in a positive and tasteful way, but a lot of times, our people are the ones who give more attention to people with lighter skin. Our people are also the main ones referring to dark skinned people as derogatory terms—“black”, “crusty”, “burnt”, etc. This way of referring to black people sounds like racist terms from white people, but white people usually aren’t the ones saying this to black people. It’s other black people! As colorist as so many black people are, if black people owned a Hollywood, they would probably erase dark skinned people out just like white Hollywood does.
A lot of black people on a regular basis look down on natural hair and refuse to wear it, but want to cry when white people say something negative about it. Or cry when they see a white woman wear an afro. Anything negative a white person says about black hair, trust me. MORE black people have said the exact same thing, if not worst. Before these current years where natural hair is now seen as more acceptable, lots of black people used to call them nappy headed and try to persuade them to straighten their hair. So many black people are upset when black people with dreads are refused jobs or prevented to graduate school, but I’ve heard black people say the worst things I’ve ever heard about dreads, sounding just like a racist white person.
Black people are online everyday trying to explain to nonblacks that they can’t say nigga, but call each other niggas all day long. When a nonblack person actually does say it, black people crumble. The Boondocks did an episode about that, titled “The S Word”, where Riley’s teacher said the word nigga and Riley acted like he was so hurt when he says nigga probably more than anybody in the whole show! And what I hate the most is a lot of us try to lie and say the word actually means “king” and comes from the Ethiopian word “negus”, but a lot of times when black people call each other niggas, nothing positive follows that in their sentence. So if the word means “king”, how come when black people say it, it isn’t always in a positive way? And if the word means king, why do we crumble so much when white people say it? It’s because we know what that word means and where it comes from and it DOESN’T mean king!
I notice that some black people online, when they see interracial couples, they use the black person’s partner turning out to be racist or their partner ending up abusing or killing them as an excuse to turn other black people away from interracial dating, but both black men and black women are more likely to be abused, hurt, and killed by each other than in interracial relationships.
Black people get angry when white businesses turn them away because of their names, yet in the next breath, make fun of another black person’s name, calling their names “ghetto”.
What’s sad is all this antiblackness that black people push on each other gets passed down to their children. And we have the nerve to act shocked when a black child says they feel ugly because they’re dark skinned or a 4 year old black girl throws a fit because her hair isn’t straight.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t say or do anything about white people who disrespect, abuse, and kill us. I’m saying that we should treat each other better! We can’t cry about how racist people treat us, then turn around and treat each other the exact same way. It doesn’t work that way!
A lot of things have opened my eyes since I found the black conscious side of the internet and around 2010-2011 when I found the natural hair side of YouTube. People from both of these communities encourage black women to wear their own hair the most. Some black women’s response to this is that it’s “just hair” and it “shouldn’t be that serious”.
I believe it’s NOT just hair. Thinking about the history of how black men and black women have been disrespected and discriminated against for their real hair is enough for me to see that, already. But there are a lot more examples that show me that it’s not “just hair”.
Many black women can’t even call their hair JUST hair. We always have to put a descriptor or something in front before we say hair when we talk about our hair. For instance, instead of calling our hair JUST hair, we call our hair “natural” hair or “4a/b/c” hair. Black women are literally the only group on the planet that has to call our hair “natural” or refer to our hair as subcategories. I don’t hear white, Asian or any other race of people, calling their hair “natural” or referring to their hair as “1a/b/c” and so forth.
I also hear a lot of black women calling their hair a “crown”. Our hair isn’t a crown! It’s HAIR! I believe we call our hair a “crown” because we’ve been made to think negatively about our hair for so long and we say that so we can feel better about our hair. Crowns are associated with royalty. So if we call our hair “crowns”, we can feel like we’re associated with kings and queens when we wear our own hair. Honestly, I feel like that it so unnecessary. We shouldn’t have to think of our hair that way just so we can be happy with it.
This reminds me of a children’s book I saw on social media a few years ago titled Penny and the Magic Puffballs, where a black woman wrote a book to help her daughter, I believe, feel better about her hair because she wanted straight hair like all the other girls around her. She styled her daughter’s hair into puffballs and called them “magic”. I understand the message, but I just think that it’s sad that a little black girl’s hair has to be called “magic” just to get her to be happy with it. It can’t JUST BE hair.
Whenever black women are finally breaking away from wearing weaves, wigs, and relaxers, and are started to wear and take care of their real hair, they refer to wearing their real hair as a “journey”. Wearing the hair you were born with exactly as it grows out of your scalp without altering it shouldn’t be a “journey”. It should just be you finally not being afraid of wearing your hair.
When I go into the hair products aisle in every store and see every product labeled as JUST hair products, but the black hair products have to be called “natural” hair products makes me sick and angry.
Most black female cartoon characters and dolls are depicted with straight hair and they aren’t even real. If it’s just hair, how come most black female fictional characters and dolls don’t even have our textured hair?
This society made us feel that we have to call our hair something different because they’re uncomfortable with it. This is why I believe it’s important for us to get rid of the fake hair and hair straighteners anyway just to give a FUCK YOU to this obviously racist society that tries so hard to make us hate everything about ourselves.
We are constantly calling our hair everything except JUST hair. So, the next time I hear someone say it’s “just hair”, I will know it’s a lie. I think people only say that because they know that the encouraging people are right about black people embracing our own hair, but they don’t want to listen. They just say that because they don’t have a better rebuttal. Black people and this society as a whole clearly have an issue with our hair.
On social media, I’ve seen many black people defend other races of people when they are experiencing racism and discrimination. Black people defended Hispanics who were dealing with deportation and their families being torn apart by ICE. Black people defended Mexicans when Donald Trump was talking about building walls to block them out of the country and saying they’re responsible for bringing drugs and crime to the country. Black people defended Chinese people when Donald Trump referred to the Coronavirus as the “Chinese virus”. Black people even defend white people who are being disrespected by other black people online. There are so many examples out there of where our people defended other races of people. Our people will defend anyone, regardless of race. If no other race defends another race who is experiencing racism and disrespect, best believe our people will!
On the flip side, I’ve seen other black people shame and criticize the ones who defend all of these races of people, saying that these other races of people rarely, if ever, care about or defend us when we’re experiencing racism, so why should we care about their problems and defend them?
Although I completely agree with that, I don’t hate the ones who defend other races of people at all because I believe I know why our people do this. Our people have been experiencing racism and discrimination for centuries in America. We know what it feels like to be discriminated against and looked down upon because of our race. Our people have been through being told we couldn’t go to certain places because we are black. Our people witness being sentenced harsher sentences in the judicial system than white people for the same crimes too many times. Our people get told that our own hair that grows out of our scalps is “unprofessional” and “ugly”. Our people know what it feels like to be disrespected and looked down upon just because of the color of our skin. Our people know what being negatively stereotyped all throughout media day in and day out feels like. Our people don’t want to see anyone else going through that, so we defend them. I can’t hate my people for having sympathy.
It’s actually a bittersweet thing. Our people have such a soft spot for fighting against racism, no matter who is experiencing it, but it seems like nobody cares about us to do the same for us. I know our people know that, too. I just feel like it doesn’t stop us from fighting.
I believe our defensiveness of everyone is definitely a side effect of being discriminated against for so long. I think before we are so quick to criticize and shame one another, we need to think of why our people do these things first. A lot of the time, it’s because of serious deep rooted issues like this one. We have to remember what our people have gone through in this country throughout history because what our people have gone through plays a HUGE part of how we act and react to things today, regardless of how “long ago” it was.