Weave As A Protective Style Is A Lie & An Excuse

I kind of didn’t want to write about this because it’s such a touchy subject and ruffles quite a few feathers, but I think this had to be said anyway. As of recent years, I’ve been hearing more and more black women say they wear weave as a “protective style” for their natural hair. I hate to say it, but hearing so many black women say this irritates me! It’s a really big, obvious lie, but so many black women cling onto it like they don’t see it.

I went natural a few years ago and I did it with the help of lots of natural hair tutorials on YouTube. Through watching those videos, I saw that no one needs weave to grow hair. I saw so many black women who grew their hair to bra strap length and longer WITHOUT weave.

I think of all the black women who had big, beautiful afros during the ’60s and ’70s and I never saw them use weave to grow it. I think of how long black women have been on this earth. We’ve had this same hair since the dawn of time. Why now, all of a sudden, do we need weave to grow our hair? When I think of it this way, this excuse sounds even more ridiculous. It really sadly proves how brainwashed we are about our own hair in this society. The truth is we’ve been conditioned with straight hair for so long, we literally forgot how to take care of our real hair how it grows out the scalp.

I believe women who wear weave hijacked the protective style term from the natural hair community. While on my journey of learning how to grow and care for my natural hair, I learned that protective styles are styles that you do with YOUR OWN hair to protect the ends, like braids or twists. Not once did I see these women use or mention weave.

I believe these women hijacked this term from the natural hair community because they want to go natural, but they aren’t 100% ready to give up weave completely. They’re so used to wearing weave, they don’t want to give it up just yet. The natural hair community has really shattered a lot of lies and excuses that’s been going around about our hair for many, many years—black people’s hair can’t grow long; only nonblack and mixed people’s hair can grow long; our hair is unmanageable; our hair is ugly, and so many others.

Since the natural hair community shattered all of these lies and excuses, there’s literally NO reason to wear weave at all. So the weave wearing women made one up to make it seem like there’s still a use for weaves amongst black women. I’m also thinking that maybe the hair industry made up and is pushing this lie. With more black women going natural, I’m sure it’s threatening the weave business. With more black women going natural, less of them would buy weave. So they needed to push that to keep black women buying weaves.

I know we don’t like to hear this, but we as black women need to give up weave FOR GOOD! Let’s stop following this society’s rules about how straight hair is better. Let’s stop allowing this society to force us into hating our hair. Let’s give up weave 100%. I know you might be afraid, but please don’t be. We need to go back to loving and accepting our true selves. We don’t need to wait until it’s considered “cool” by the rest of society to do it. We have to just do it and forget about anyone who has a negative comment.

When I first cut my hair and went natural, I had to hear negative comments from my own dad and brothers, saying I needed a texturizer to “make my hair easier to manage”; saying I would never get a job with my hair; saying that my hair was going to fall out; all kinds of stupid, ignorant comments. But my want and love for my own hair far outweighed the negative comments from those closest to me. Also, lots of other people outside of my family always complimented my hair, so I knew that they were full of crap for saying what they were saying about my hair. Now that my hair has grown a lot, they’re saying they want their hair to grow and look like mine. Isn’t that something?

I’m sharing a little of my story because I know that many women are mostly afraid to go completely natural and give up weave because they’re afraid of negative comments. I know many of the negative comments will come from people closest to us. I want to encourage other women to not be afraid.

I now realize after being natural for a few years that the people who make negative comments are afraid, too. I believe that when women go natural, it sparks something in other people. I think deep down, they want to do it, too, and your hair inspired them, but they just don’t have the courage. I also think it has to do with them just not being used to your hair not being straight. They’re so used to seeing you and other women around them wear straight hair that when they see one that doesn’t have straight hair, they think it looks weird.

We really need to let go of these lies and excuses. We will never fully accept our hair as our own if we keep using them. Never in history have we ever needed weave to grow our hair! Let that sink in and let’s act accordingly.

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What This Video Showed Me

I stumbled upon this video that was asking who looked better between Eminem’s daughter, Hailie, and Lil Wayne’s daughter, Reginae. In the comments, I saw lots of people saying, “Why are we comparing?” “They’re both beautiful women!” “Why must we put two women against each other?”

These people are correct by saying this by the way, but I feel it would hold more weight if I didn’t see people comparing black women to white women ALL THE TIME on social media. EVERYDAY to be exact! Because of that, I give the people saying that major side eye.

This video showed me that a lot of people only want to compare black women to white women who have aged. They rarely, if ever, compare themselves to white women who are attractive. I even saw a comment in the video that said, “Let’s see who will look better in 20 years.” That comment pretty much proves my point in this post.

The way I saw it, Hailie is attractive. So some people were shying away from comparing her and Reginae’s looks together.

I rarely ever see anyone compare black women’s attractiveness to women like Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian or even Ariana Grande. But they have all the smoke for some random old white woman online.

What does that say that some of our black people only feel comfortable comparing themselves to white and nonblack women after they have aged? Do some of us feel like we aren’t as attractive as an attractive white or nonblack woman?

What People Who Miss MySpace Made Me Realize

For years, I’ve heard many people wish for the days of MySpace to come back. Many people say they miss MySpace and want it to be “popping” again. I realized that people aren’t really missing anything at all.

By the way these people talk, you would think MySpace was shut down to never be used again. Nope! MySpace is still here. And if you miss it that bad, you can easily reopen your account and ask your friends on other social media platforms to add you there, especially if those friends say they miss MySpace, too. But for some reason, people don’t want to do that. Why do people ask for things that have an obvious solution?

MySpace never left. PEOPLE LEFT MYSPACE! Then started crying about “missing” it. This is a weird phenomenon that I think should be examined. It makes me feel like many people in our society have some sort of mental issue.

What’s even weirder are the people who talk down about MySpace like they never used it ever in their lives. Almost everyone you know, probably yourself included, has used MySpace at one point in their lives and LOVED it, so to talk like that is beyond stupid to me. I believe those types of people miss MySpace the most and just talk like that to hide it.

I think this exposes the groupthink mentality that many people have and/or the low intelligence level. Who said people couldn’t use MySpace anymore? Why? Why were people so eager to go along with it?

This same phenomenon can be applied to people who say they “miss” certain music artists. A vast majority of the time, these artists never stopped making music. Just because you don’t hear them on the radio means nothing. It never did. These people have been making music long before they hit one radio station and they will continue making music still long after they are no longer on the radio. If you look them up on YouTube, Google, or their social media, you will immediately see that they have tons of new music out.

The artists never went anywhere. THE PEOPLE DID! The big question is why? If these people loved these things and celebrities so much, why did they abandon them? Why don’t they simply just go back to using it? Again, who’s saying we can’t love these things anymore? Why are we so eager to listen, then cry about “missing” them later?

With this phenomenon, I also realized that people cheat themselves out of tremendous power. People say they “want MySpace to be popping again”, yet don’t go back to using it. If they simply went back to using it, it would be “popping” again. Same thing with music artists. If they simply went back to listening to their music, follow them on social media, or whatever, and stopped waiting on the radio to tell them to, they would be popular again. Yet, for some weird reason, people just don’t do it. They cry about “missing” them instead.

What I hate the most about this is when this stuff is pointed out, people get defensive and act like they don’t see or notice this pattern. They do it ALL THE TIME with EVERYTHING!

I just want people to stop being a bunch of groupthinkers and think for themselves. Stop letting whatever it is tell you what to love. Love things because YOU love it. Stop loving things just because they’re popular amongst other people and have YOUR OWN reasons to love things.

Solange-Tina Taught Me

I love this interlude, “Tina Taught Me”, from Solange’s album, A Seat At The Table. The instrumental to “Don’t Touch My Hair” playing in the background makes it even better. Solange’s mother, Tina Knowles, spoke a message I couldn’t agree with more if I wanted to. A message full of being proud of being black. She also talks about how here in America, black people are not allowed to express pride in being black and if we do, it is taken as us being anti-white. The truth is white people are anti-black. They hate our culture. They don’t want us to love our culture and try to push their culture on us. They’ve done this for centuries. This is why our original culture(s), language(s), etc., were stripped away from us and replaced with theirs. I believe this is why when we express pride in loving ourselves and our culture, they take it as us not liking their culture. They take us expressing love and pride in ourselves as rejecting their culture that they’re forcing on us.

The Problem With People Calling Out Tiffany Haddish & Kevin Hart

I’ve been seeing a lot of people lately talking about how stereotypical the roles Tiffany Haddish and Kevin Hart play. They say that Tiffany Haddish is the stereotype of the loud mouth, ghetto black woman and Kevin Hart is the stereotype of the emasculated black man.

Although I agree with people who say this, I also think it comes off as a little hypocritical. I think so because the vast majority of the popular black comedians, male or female, have made their careers based off of some stereotype. They’re nothing more than a modern day minstrel show!

Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, and many, many others have emasculated themselves and played stereotypical roles of black women in tons of movies and TV shows.

Bernie Mac played the stereotypical role of the big, scary black man.

Even Katt Williams has played stereotypical roles. Friday After Next is a huge example. He played the role of an emasculated black man. He also played the role of a pimp. And we all know there’s nothing to glorify about pimps! And he disrespected a black woman all throughout the whole movie. Where are the people to call that out?

There are so many black comedians who have played stereotypical roles in Hollywood, yet no one is dissecting their comedy skits and movies and talking about how bad it is for the black image. When this is called out, people’s excuses for it is because they are “legends”.

If you’re going to call someone out for something, keep the same energy when it comes to others! Don’t pick and choose who to call out when they’re all doing the same thing. At that point, not only do you look like a hypocrite, you expose yourself for not really caring about black stereotypical roles being played. You just want an excuse to talk down about someone because you don’t like them. Just say you don’t like Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish and move on! Don’t make the excuse that it’s “because they play stereotypical roles that make black people look bad” as the reason you don’t like them. We have to stop being blinded by big names and turning a blind eye to what they do, then turn into a lynch mob for someone just because their status isn’t as big.

Also, I believe that calling out Kevin Hart, Tiffany Haddish, or any black comedian, for that matter, for playing these roles is a little misguided. I think we need to start calling out Hollywood for this. Why do they keep pushing these roles on our people? I feel like some people are too afraid to call out Hollywood for the shady things they do.

If Hollywood isn’t going to stop pushing these roles on our people, I think it’s about time (it’s BEEN time!) we create an alternative for our people to go to so they won’t have to do that because, let’s be real. No one is going to turn down all that money Hollywood offers because a role is “stereotypical”, especially if they need it. I’ve heard many people say Tiffany Haddish was homeless before her big break. I hear this about many stars in Hollywood. A lot of them were broke or homeless before their big break. Maybe some people will turn down a role because it’s stereotypical. But Hollywood will always find someone who will take it.

We need our own media where our people can still get paid nicely without selling out like this. Also, these people have to be willing to support it if someone does start to create a media for us that doesn’t depict us in a bad light. People can’t be so eager to sell out and leave behind an opportunity for us to have something of our own, then complain about us not having any good roles to play. We as the audience need to support it as well. Let’s stop supporting comedians who play these types of roles and give our support to more deserving comics.

Do People Have A Special Connection To The Sun?

I observe my own behavior and other people’s behaviors when it comes to sunshine. Lots of people, including myself, are happier when the sun is out shining bright and the sky is a clear blue. But when it’s a cloudy, gloomy, overcast day, it seems like people don’t seem as happy. They mostly stay indoors and sometimes, their moods are negative. I know a lot of times when it’s cloudy and gloomy, I don’t feel like doing anything. And a lot of times, my mood is negative. I’m either sad or thinking about all the bad things I go through.

At first, I used to think this stuff was all in my head until I heard about S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Apparently, this is a real thing that really affects people and their moods. After doing a little reading about this, I also learned that this affects some animals, too. During winter months, some animals are less active due to lack of sunshine and difficulty finding food. So, I should rephrase my question to, ‘Do all living things have a connection to the sun?’

What happens that causes this emotional phenomenon? Do we really have some special, maybe even secret connection to the sun?

After all, nothing on this planet could live without it. It is essential to all life forms on this planet. I believe this is why sun worshipping exists. Lots of different cultures recognize the importance that the sun has on this earth. Maybe this is where this connection comes from.

If You Refer To A Celebrity As Irrelevant, You Are FAKE!

(Photo: Wikimedia Commons)

Hearing this word, “irrelevant”, get thrown around so much on the Internet gives me a very uneasy feeling. People say this about any celebrity, whether they are music artists, movie stars, comedians, or athletes. I think it’s extremely annoying.

I say people are FAKE as ALL GET OUT when they call a celebrity irrelevant because nine times out of ten, they’re saying this about people that they loved at one point. A lot of these celebrities people call “irrelevant” have been insanely popular at one point in their lives. If these people were that popular, chances are they loved, listened to, and/or watched them A LOT themselves at one point in their lives. It just seems really weird for people to call someone irrelevant when they loved them at one point.

I believe a lot of people just like throwing that word around. So many people are online all day everyday living through celebrities. Jealous of their lives and fame. Calling them “irrelevant” gives them a reason to feel better about their lives. In reality, I feel like people throw the word “irrelevant” around on celebrities because they feel so insignificant by celebrities that they project those feelings onto them. They call celebrities irrelevant because they feel irrelevant compared to celebrities. I think if people are at that point, they seriously need to turn their televisions and Internet off for a while and learn to appreciate their own lives so they won’t feel like that about their lives or a celebrity’s life.

Another huge reason that makes people HORRIBLY fake for calling celebrities irrelevant is that it makes them seem like they only liked the celebrity because they were popular. They didn’t have their own reasons for liking them. They only liked them because they thought everyone else did. Their faces are plastered on television and magazines everywhere. People are talking about them all the time. The SECOND all of that stops, the “fans” disappear–well, at least most of them, and act like they never loved them. It’s really dumb. This is why I think at least 95% of most celebrity fanbases are full of fake fans. Only fans because they’re on a bandwagon.

I can only imagine that type of pressure if I were a celebrity. It makes me feel like fame isn’t really all that worth it. People are just ready and waiting to pounce on you the second they feel like you “failed” because that’s how insecure and threatened they feel by your success and fame. I’m pretty sure that makes a lot of celebrities feel the insane pressure of always having to sell high records all the time. The insane pressure of having to win every game or a certain amount of games and championships all the time. The insane pressure of having to always sell out arenas. The high pressure of always having to pull a certain amount of money in the box office. The insane pressure of having a certain amount of #1’s or hit songs in general. Because the second they don’t, they will be called “irrelevant”, “washed up”, etc., by their OWN FANS and people who didn’t like them anyway and just using that as an excuse to hate them because they don’t really have a real reason to hate them in the first place. They’re just miserable and like being negative.

What’s worst enough is the main people sitting on the Internet calling people “irrelevant” all day are people who couldn’t even do an OUNCE of what celebrities do. I know it’s not easy to win Grammys, sell out shows, win a lot of games, sell a lot of records, get high ratings on television shows, tear out the box office, etc., especially when we all know the entertainment industry has a HUGE reputation of overlooking people who have AMAZING talent and deserve to be praised just as much as anybody else. People call celebrities “irrelevant” because they don’t understand the actual work that goes into what they do. They’re just looking at the finished product and thinking everything is easy for them when it really isn’t.

Not only do I think these people can’t do anything celebrities do, they wouldn’t be able to handle thousands, maybe even MILLIONS, of hate comments of people saying the same thing to them that they say to celebrities EVERYDAY. Most people can’t even handle one negative comment. They’ll be ready to fight someone after one negative thing someone says about them. I KNOW they won’t be able handle the amount of negative comments celebrities have to handle on a daily basis.

But I guess people will never understand how it really feels until they or someone they know are in that same position and other people are treating them like that because they lack the ability to see how other people feel or might feel. A lot of people don’t know how anything feels until it happens to them.