What Is A Mistake?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary website, a mistake is 1) a wrong judgement or misunderstanding; 2) a wrong action or statement proceeding faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge, or inattention. In my own words, a mistake is a wrong thing someone does or says, but wasn’t intending to. For example, you writing too quickly and you accidentally misspell something because of it and you have to erase. Or grabbing something out the fridge and it slips out of your hands and breaks. You didn’t throw it on the floor on purpose. It just slipped out of your hand.

Many people call things “mistakes” that aren’t mistakes. They’re CHOICES. But because they regret it later, they want to soften what they did, so instead of admitting they made a poor choice, they’ll say they “made a mistake”.

“I made a mistake and cheated on my spouse.”

“I made a mistake and said something I shouldn’t have said out of anger.”

“I made a mistake and wore blackface and called someone a racial slur.”

“I made a mistake and raped someone.”

“I made a mistake and abused someone.”

“I made a mistake and bullied someone.”

So many people say things like this and claim they are mistakes. These aren’t mistakes because all people know right from wrong. We were taught since we were babies right from wrong. It’s up to us to CHOOSE right or wrong. A lot of people CHOOSE to do WRONG things, then don’t want to own up to their choice.

You knew you were in a relationship/married when you slept with someone that wasn’t your partner. It’s not like you didn’t know you were already with someone. You knew doing that was wrong, which is why you did it behind your partner’s back and lied about it. You knew sleeping with someone that wasn’t your partner would hurt them…but you did it anyway. Now that you got caught and you see the hurt on your partner’s face, you want to say it was “a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

Everyone knows wearing blackface is racist. Everyone knows what racial slurs are. You went online and did it anyway. And now that you’re getting dragged for it (like you should), you want to claim you “made a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

When you picked on that kid in school for whatever reason, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew the kid would be and was hurt by it. But you did it anyway. And kept doing it. You didn’t “make a mistake” and become a bully. You made A CHOICE!

When you had sex without a condom or birth control, you knew beforehand that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. You don’t sleep around unprotected, then say “I made a mistake and now I’m pregnant” or “I made a mistake and got somebody pregnant”. You made A CHOICE!

Instead of saying, “We’re all human and we all make mistakes”, I want us to start saying, “We’re all human and we all make CHOICES”. We have to start being more honest with ourselves and admitting that we CHOOSE to do bad things sometimes.

A lot of people like using “free will” as excuse to absolve themselves from accountability for bad choices as well. Yes we have free will to choose what we want to do, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to what we do or that what we do won’t hurt someone else.

I believe that if more of us admitted to making bad choices instead of calling our bad choices “mistakes”, we will think twice about doing certain things. If we keep calling our bad choices “mistakes”, a lot of us won’t try to do better because in our heads, we’re not doing anything wrong. We’re just “making mistakes”.

A Woman Should Never Put Her Hands On A Man

I know this sounds weird because we’re used to hearing it the other way around: “A man should never put his hands on a woman“, but I’m starting to see more and more women hitting men for reasons that don’t have to involve violence at all and justifying it. That has to stop!

I see on television all the time that they make it acceptable, and even funny, for women to hit men. I’ve seen many episodes of the Bernie Mac Show, for example, which featured Jordan getting hit by girls, whether they were his sisters or other girls elsewhere and the situations were always made to look funny. When it’s boys hitting girls or men hitting women, it’s rarely ever made to look funny or acceptable on TV shows. Because they show girls hitting boys in many TV shows and cartoons that are geared towards children or involve children, it proves that the media starts sending this message that it’s okay for women to hit men when they are children.

I get so tired of watching WWE and seeing a woman get away with slapping a man just because he said something she didn’t like or because she has the power to do anything she wants (I know it’s just WWE, but still).

I’ve seen music videos, too, where women were either hitting men or depicting themselves as if they killed a man, like Jhen√© Aiko’s “The Worst” video or Nicki Minaj’s “Lookin’ Ass Niggas” video, where she’s shooting guns at and around men. There are tons of other TV shows, movies, songs, videos, and many other media sources that send this message that it’s okay for women to hit, throw objects at, use weapons against, and even kill men and get away with it.

We can’t keep saying, “It’s just TV” or “It’s just a movie” whenever we see these things on screen. We don’t realize exactly how powerful messages from the media are in our society. It’s NOT just a movie! It’s NOT just a TV show! It’s NOT just a video! Whether we want to believe or accept it or not, the media shapes a very great deal of our reality in this society, from the way we think to the way we dress.

I’m thinking that the reason why it is shown that it’s okay for women to hit men like this in the first place is due to the history of sexism in this country. I believe there was a time where men abused women and because of the belief that women were “not equal” to men at that time, there was nothing women could do or say about it. But now, in recent times, things have changed and women CAN do and say something about men hitting them and probably see it as payback for all the years men have gotten away with doing it.

Another thing I’m thinking is that women want to feel like they are just as strong or stronger than men because of the upheld belief that men are stronger than women. Women want to prove that wrong. Women are always trying to prove that they can do anything a man can do. If they feel that they can hurt a man by hitting him or beat him up in a fight, it can probably prove to them that they are. But if a man hits them back, it probably reminds them that they’re not, which is where the backlash against the man comes from. I’ve even seen women try to provoke or dare men to hit them. That has to stop as well. If a man hitting a woman is wrong, a woman shouldn’t be trying to provoke or dare a man to hit her. I believe women do that because they know that if men actually do hit them back after doing it that it will be the men who get in trouble or get shamed and not them.

Lots of women think that hitting men because they said something out of the way to them or because they cheated on them are justifiable reasons to get away with it. But when it’s the woman saying something out of the way to a man or it’s the woman cheating on the man, the man can’t go and hit her or destroy her property (that’s another thing women do to men and try to justify it). He is told to “just walk away”. Pretty much telling him to “just deal with it”. If men have to “just walk away” in situations like these, women should do so as well. These are not situations that need to be resolved with violence or property destruction. And since she’s an adult, she should be able to handle her emotions MUCH better than that.

Because of this idea that it’s okay for women to hit men, many of the cases in where the woman is being violent to the man will and have been overlooked and even excused. It is believed that because a man is “stronger” than a woman, he shouldn’t allow her to hit him and should have ways to stop it. If it does happen, then it’s either his fault or he “deserved” it and she was “defending herself”. Men are teased and shamed a lot for getting “beat up by a girl”. They are looked at as “soft” and “weak” if a woman hits them or beats them up. That’s one main reason why we need to stop laughing and making this joke whenever a woman hits a man like it’s funny. It’s NOT funny! And now that I’m thinking about it, that could very well be psychological warfare or some type of mental programming to make us more complacent with violence against men by women. If we think it’s funny, then we’ll sit back and laugh instead of doing something about it. This upheld belief causes people to not take violence against men by women seriously, which, in turn, causes a lot of cases to go unreported. And unreported cases will make it look like it’s not happening as much or as frequently as it actually is.

We have to stop using this lame excuse that because men are “stronger” than women that it’s okay for women to hit them and get away with it. If we believe men are “stronger” than women, why would we encourage women to fight men anyway? Men being “stronger” than a woman is not a very good reason to justify hitting men at all.

Women shouldn’t hit men unless they are defending themselves against men who are physically attacking or trying to harm them. Women shouldn’t hit men and men shouldn’t hit women. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Let’s stop making it one-sided. Instead of saying, “A man should never put his hands on a woman” or “A woman should never put her hands on a man”, let’s say what we were all taught when we first started going to school. And that is, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! If we make it one-sided, the other side (in this case, women) will think that the rule doesn’t apply to them. NO ONE should put their hands on ANYONE! Don’t hit someone, then play victim when you get hit back! I’m so sick and tired of people doing that!