Are People Actually Upset That Child Abuse Is Outlawed?

“They need to bring back whoopin yo kids ass!”

I hear people say this so much. People say this like everybody stopped whipping their kids. People DIDN’T stop. INCLUDING the ones who say this! Why would people ask to “bring back” something they never stopped doing? What do they really want to bring back? Child abuse? PUNCHING their kids? Hitting their kids with hard objects? This is exactly what a lot of people were doing to their kids and more before it was outlawed.

A lot of people say things and don’t realize what they’re saying. This is exactly what it sounds like to me— that people really want to bring back child abuse—when they say that.

I also think people know of and heard of all the studies that came out speaking against whipping and yelling at children and exposed the negative effects of it, but they don’t want to stop doing it. They want to go back to when scientists and psychologists weren’t studying that so much and exposing it so they can go back to doing it in peace.

I am anti hitting kids as discipline. I never understood why it was necessary. Whipping children with belts is one thing, but why do some people think they need to hit their children with something worst than that? Why is it so hard for people to discipline their kids without yelling or hitting them? People have to hit and yell at their kids to “discipline” them like they’re wild animals.

If anything, the constant whipping and yelling is more than likely why the kids are acting up. The studies said that—whipping children causes behavior problems, amongst many other things, but people who like doing that didn’t listen.

I’ve noticed that whenever people see a video of a child acting horribly online, they say, “This is why we whoop our kids!” But why do these people automatically assume that the child isn’t getting whipped by their parents? They don’t know that child or their parents personally.

Also, I’ve seen tons of horrible acting children who are always getting whipped, smacked, and yelled at by their parents. These people know that, too, which is why they feel like they have to do it so much. So, a child acting badly doesn’t always mean they aren’t getting whipped. That’s just people using other bad children as an excuse to justify why they hit theirs.

Another thing I thought of is some people probably don’t think whipping their children is working as well as they thought (Studies said that, too, but again, they didn’t listen). They’re realizing that their kids are still really bad no matter how much they hit and yell at them. So, they feel like they need to up the ante and hit their kids with something more. They wish laws would let them hit their kids with more than just a belt or switch.

When people say they wish the government would bring back beating children, it makes me think that there are some people out there who are actually upset that child abuse has been outlawed and the negative effects of hitting them in any way or yelling at them has been widespread news for decades.

Is Interracial Dating Abuse Being Swept Under The Rug?

A reader of mine brought to my attention that interracial dating isn’t always sunshine and rainbows like some black people make it seem like. I didn’t really know what to say about this. But this video I found on YouTube, which I will share at the end of this post, is perfect for what I needed to say here.

This video highlighted a story of a black woman finally coming forward about the abuse she suffered from her nonblack husband. The focus of the video is that nowadays, interracial dating is more promoted and glorified like they’re better than black relationships, but in a lot of those relationships, the black partner is dealing with abuse. And I’ve heard many stories about black people dealing with racism from their nonblack partner’s family or the nonblack partners themselves.

Now, I’m not using this video to discourage people from dating interracially. Because I’ve heard many stories about black women talking about the abuse they suffered from black men and vice versa. So in a lot of cases, black relationships aren’t always better either.

I honestly don’t really care about interracial dating to be honest. I just don’t like how black people are always so loud about the abuse they endure from each other. They can’t wait to share a story about a black man abusing a black woman or a black woman killing a black man and use these stories as an excuse to promote interracial dating, but when stories of racism, abuse, and murder happen with interracial couples, no one is saying anything because it goes against their agenda.

I want black people to start treating each other better. And I don’t want black people glorifying interracial relationships like they’re any better because in a lot of cases, they’re not. Check out the video below if you like and let me know what you think of it.

Who Hates Accountability More: Men or Women?

For years, I’ve seen men on social media talk about how women hate accountability. But judging by what a lot of men do, I see they hate accountability, too. You would think that by the way they pressure women about accountability, they would have no problem with accountability themselves. But that’s obviously and certainly not the case.

Whenever I see women talk about how men cheat on them or abuse them, there’s always men underneath there saying, “That’s just the men y’all deal with!” Instead of calling out these abusive, cheating men. Instead of NOT cheating and NOT abusing women, they tell women that it’s their fault for “choosing the wrong men”.

Men’s responses under posts where women are talking about sexual harassment and rape disgust me, too. Instead of listening to the message women are giving, they’ll act like they don’t know what counts as rape, sexual harassment or consent. Instead of NOT raping and sexually harassing women, they will tell women to “watch what they wear” or “watch how they act around men”.

I’ve even heard men say if women “armed themselves more” or learned some type of self defense, they wouldn’t get raped or sexually harassed. So, instead of NOT raping women and telling other men not to do it, they would rather tell women to be more dangerous, violent, and threatening. And what about little girls that get raped by grown men? Because that’s definitely happening all over the world! Men don’t just rape and sexually harass grown women. They get little girls, too. Are little girls supposed to have guns or know how to defend herself against a grown man?

I’ve been hearing men complain about women putting them on child support since I was a little girl. But if they took care of their children instead of impregnating multiple women and trying to run out on them, they wouldn’t have that problem. If they weren’t so quick to sleep with women without protection, they wouldn’t have that problem. Sometimes, I hear some men say that they do want to be in their child’s lives, but it’s the woman who keeps them away and put them on child support anyway for the money. That’s a fair argument. But when women say men do bad things to them, men tell them to “choose better men”. How come this doesn’t apply to them? How come they can’t choose better women? If they chose better women, they wouldn’t have that problem. …But they don’t want to hear that!

I see YouTubers like Derrick Jaxn and celebrities like Steve Harvey telling women what to look for in a man, how to attract a man, which men to avoid, and this, that, and the other. But none of these men are telling other men to change how they treat women. They’re always talking to women and telling women what to do. Why is that?

And if you ask me, I’m starting to think these types of men who are always telling women which men to avoid are the exact men women should avoid. I think a lot of these men are warning women about themselves when they do that, pretending that they’re talking about other men. And I think a lot of them don’t even realize that they are warning women about themselves when they do that because I think it’s something in their subconscious that’s doing that for them.

Men talk like they hate single moms soooo much on social media. They say that single moms ruin kids lives, but none of them talk about how they create single moms. If single moms are so bad, why do men keep creating them? A woman never gets pregnant by herself. Men who impregnate women and leave them are the ones creating single moms. They’re literally complaining about their own problem that THEY create, but try to blame women for it, like it’s just the woman’s fault. Stop impregnating women you don’t want kids with. ….But they don’t want to hear that!

It sounds to me that men hate accountability just as much as they claim women hate accountability, especially when it comes to disrespecting and abusing women. They always have an excuse for why they do things that they aren’t supposed to. Men hating accountability is also why they put the blame on women for so many things that they do. This is why they want women to “choose better men” instead of BEING BETTER MEN.

I believe this is why they pressure women with accountability so much anyway. Men hate accountability so much, that they want women to be more accountable for their actions than men are for theirs, so they won’t have to be accountable for theirs. If women are more accountable than them, they don’t have to worry about being accountable for what they do—that’s what I feel like men are saying when they talk so much about accountability to women.

I believe this society was built and is run by people who hate accountability, particularly men and that’s why so many people in this society hate it. So if you ask me, I think women hate accountability for their actions and so do men. Men are NOT more accountable for their own actions than women, no matter what they say!

Black People Are No Better Than White People

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard a black person say that other black people treat them so badly that they would rather hang out with white people because white people treat them so much better. Or how many black people have said other black people weren’t interested in dating them until they started dating white people.

A lot of black people like to laugh at people who say this and call them coons, but before you do that, think for a second. There’s a reason why these people feel this way. And they tell us all the time. These are genuine feelings these people feel. Black people shouldn’t treat each other so bad that our people don’t even feel comfortable and accepted by us.

We as black people are always complaining about how white people treat us. We’re always complaining about how white people negatively profile us and kill unarmed black people, which are legit reasons for us to be upset. However, in our own communities, the crimes and murders committed against each other is way higher. Black people are more likely to be hurt and/or killed by another black person way more than by a white person.

And don’t get me started on how so many black people project colorism on each other. So many of our people say, do, and think the worst about dark skinned people. We get mad about Hollywood not putting enough dark skinned people in the media in a positive and tasteful way, but a lot of times, our people are the ones who give more attention to people with lighter skin. Our people are also the main ones referring to dark skinned people as derogatory terms—“black”, “crusty”, “burnt”, etc. This way of referring to black people sounds like racist terms from white people, but white people usually aren’t the ones saying this to black people. It’s other black people! As colorist as so many black people are, if black people owned a Hollywood, they would probably erase dark skinned people out just like white Hollywood does.

A lot of black people on a regular basis look down on natural hair and refuse to wear it, but want to cry when white people say something negative about it. Or cry when they see a white woman wear an afro. Anything negative a white person says about black hair, trust me. MORE black people have said the exact same thing, if not worst. Before these current years where natural hair is now seen as more acceptable, lots of black people used to call them nappy headed and try to persuade them to straighten their hair. So many black people are upset when black people with dreads are refused jobs or prevented to graduate school, but I’ve heard black people say the worst things I’ve ever heard about dreads, sounding just like a racist white person.

Black people are online everyday trying to explain to nonblacks that they can’t say nigga, but call each other niggas all day long. When a nonblack person actually does say it, black people crumble. The Boondocks did an episode about that, titled “The S Word”, where Riley’s teacher said the word nigga and Riley acted like he was so hurt when he says nigga probably more than anybody in the whole show! And what I hate the most is a lot of us try to lie and say the word actually means “king” and comes from the Ethiopian word “negus”, but a lot of times when black people call each other niggas, nothing positive follows that in their sentence. So if the word means “king”, how come when black people say it, it isn’t always in a positive way? And if the word means king, why do we crumble so much when white people say it? It’s because we know what that word means and where it comes from and it DOESN’T mean king!

I notice that some black people online, when they see interracial couples, they use the black person’s partner turning out to be racist or their partner ending up abusing or killing them as an excuse to turn other black people away from interracial dating, but both black men and black women are more likely to be abused, hurt, and killed by each other than in interracial relationships.

Black people get angry when white businesses turn them away because of their names, yet in the next breath, make fun of another black person’s name, calling their names “ghetto”.

What’s sad is all this antiblackness that black people push on each other gets passed down to their children. And we have the nerve to act shocked when a black child says they feel ugly because they’re dark skinned or a 4 year old black girl throws a fit because her hair isn’t straight.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t say or do anything about white people who disrespect, abuse, and kill us. I’m saying that we should treat each other better! We can’t cry about how racist people treat us, then turn around and treat each other the exact same way. It doesn’t work that way!

What Is A Mistake?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary website, a mistake is 1) a wrong judgement or misunderstanding; 2) a wrong action or statement proceeding faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge, or inattention. In my own words, a mistake is a wrong thing someone does or says, but wasn’t intending to. For example, you writing too quickly and you accidentally misspell something because of it and you have to erase. Or grabbing something out the fridge and it slips out of your hands and breaks. You didn’t throw it on the floor on purpose. It just slipped out of your hand.

Many people call things “mistakes” that aren’t mistakes. They’re CHOICES. But because they regret it later, they want to soften what they did, so instead of admitting they made a poor choice, they’ll say they “made a mistake”.

“I made a mistake and cheated on my spouse.”

“I made a mistake and said something I shouldn’t have said out of anger.”

“I made a mistake and wore blackface and called someone a racial slur.”

“I made a mistake and raped someone.”

“I made a mistake and abused someone.”

“I made a mistake and bullied someone.”

So many people say things like this and claim they are mistakes. These aren’t mistakes because all people know right from wrong. We were taught since we were babies right from wrong. It’s up to us to CHOOSE right or wrong. A lot of people CHOOSE to do WRONG things, then don’t want to own up to their choice.

You knew you were in a relationship/married when you slept with someone that wasn’t your partner. It’s not like you didn’t know you were already with someone. You knew doing that was wrong, which is why you did it behind your partner’s back and lied about it. You knew sleeping with someone that wasn’t your partner would hurt them…but you did it anyway. Now that you got caught and you see the hurt on your partner’s face, you want to say it was “a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

Everyone knows wearing blackface is racist. Everyone knows what racial slurs are. You went online and did it anyway. And now that you’re getting dragged for it (like you should), you want to claim you “made a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

When you picked on that kid in school for whatever reason, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew the kid would be and was hurt by it. But you did it anyway. And kept doing it. You didn’t “make a mistake” and become a bully. You made A CHOICE!

When you had sex without a condom or birth control, you knew beforehand that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. You don’t sleep around unprotected, then say “I made a mistake and now I’m pregnant” or “I made a mistake and got somebody pregnant”. You made A CHOICE!

Instead of saying, “We’re all human and we all make mistakes”, I want us to start saying, “We’re all human and we all make CHOICES”. We have to start being more honest with ourselves and admitting that we CHOOSE to do bad things sometimes.

A lot of people like using “free will” as excuse to absolve themselves from accountability for bad choices as well. Yes we have free will to choose what we want to do, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to what we do or that what we do won’t hurt someone else.

I believe that if more of us admitted to making bad choices instead of calling our bad choices “mistakes”, we will think twice about doing certain things. If we keep calling our bad choices “mistakes”, a lot of us won’t try to do better because in our heads, we’re not doing anything wrong. We’re just “making mistakes”.

A Woman Should Never Put Her Hands On A Man

I know this sounds weird because we’re used to hearing it the other way around: “A man should never put his hands on a woman“, but I’m starting to see more and more women hitting men for reasons that don’t have to involve violence at all and justifying it. That has to stop!

I see on television all the time that they make it acceptable, and even funny, for women to hit men. I’ve seen many episodes of the Bernie Mac Show, for example, which featured Jordan getting hit by girls, whether they were his sisters or other girls elsewhere and the situations were always made to look funny. When it’s boys hitting girls or men hitting women, it’s rarely ever made to look funny or acceptable on TV shows. Because they show girls hitting boys in many TV shows and cartoons that are geared towards children or involve children, it proves that the media starts sending this message that it’s okay for women to hit men when they are children.

I get so tired of watching WWE and seeing a woman get away with slapping a man just because he said something she didn’t like or because she has the power to do anything she wants (I know it’s just WWE, but still).

I’ve seen music videos, too, where women were either hitting men or depicting themselves as if they killed a man, like Jhen√© Aiko’s “The Worst” video or Nicki Minaj’s “Lookin’ Ass Niggas” video, where she’s shooting guns at and around men. There are tons of other TV shows, movies, songs, videos, and many other media sources that send this message that it’s okay for women to hit, throw objects at, use weapons against, and even kill men and get away with it.

We can’t keep saying, “It’s just TV” or “It’s just a movie” whenever we see these things on screen. We don’t realize exactly how powerful messages from the media are in our society. It’s NOT just a movie! It’s NOT just a TV show! It’s NOT just a video! Whether we want to believe or accept it or not, the media shapes a very great deal of our reality in this society, from the way we think to the way we dress.

I’m thinking that the reason why it is shown that it’s okay for women to hit men like this in the first place is due to the history of sexism in this country. I believe there was a time where men abused women and because of the belief that women were “not equal” to men at that time, there was nothing women could do or say about it. But now, in recent times, things have changed and women CAN do and say something about men hitting them and probably see it as payback for all the years men have gotten away with doing it.

Another thing I’m thinking is that women want to feel like they are just as strong or stronger than men because of the upheld belief that men are stronger than women. Women want to prove that wrong. Women are always trying to prove that they can do anything a man can do. If they feel that they can hurt a man by hitting him or beat him up in a fight, it can probably prove to them that they are. But if a man hits them back, it probably reminds them that they’re not, which is where the backlash against the man comes from. I’ve even seen women try to provoke or dare men to hit them. That has to stop as well. If a man hitting a woman is wrong, a woman shouldn’t be trying to provoke or dare a man to hit her. I believe women do that because they know that if men actually do hit them back after doing it that it will be the men who get in trouble or get shamed and not them.

Lots of women think that hitting men because they said something out of the way to them or because they cheated on them are justifiable reasons to get away with it. But when it’s the woman saying something out of the way to a man or it’s the woman cheating on the man, the man can’t go and hit her or destroy her property (that’s another thing women do to men and try to justify it). He is told to “just walk away”. Pretty much telling him to “just deal with it”. If men have to “just walk away” in situations like these, women should do so as well. These are not situations that need to be resolved with violence or property destruction. And since she’s an adult, she should be able to handle her emotions MUCH better than that.

Because of this idea that it’s okay for women to hit men, many of the cases in where the woman is being violent to the man will and have been overlooked and even excused. It is believed that because a man is “stronger” than a woman, he shouldn’t allow her to hit him and should have ways to stop it. If it does happen, then it’s either his fault or he “deserved” it and she was “defending herself”. Men are teased and shamed a lot for getting “beat up by a girl”. They are looked at as “soft” and “weak” if a woman hits them or beats them up. That’s one main reason why we need to stop laughing and making this joke whenever a woman hits a man like it’s funny. It’s NOT funny! And now that I’m thinking about it, that could very well be psychological warfare or some type of mental programming to make us more complacent with violence against men by women. If we think it’s funny, then we’ll sit back and laugh instead of doing something about it. This upheld belief causes people to not take violence against men by women seriously, which, in turn, causes a lot of cases to go unreported. And unreported cases will make it look like it’s not happening as much or as frequently as it actually is.

We have to stop using this lame excuse that because men are “stronger” than women that it’s okay for women to hit them and get away with it. If we believe men are “stronger” than women, why would we encourage women to fight men anyway? Men being “stronger” than a woman is not a very good reason to justify hitting men at all.

Women shouldn’t hit men unless they are defending themselves against men who are physically attacking or trying to harm them. Women shouldn’t hit men and men shouldn’t hit women. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Let’s stop making it one-sided. Instead of saying, “A man should never put his hands on a woman” or “A woman should never put her hands on a man”, let’s say what we were all taught when we first started going to school. And that is, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! If we make it one-sided, the other side (in this case, women) will think that the rule doesn’t apply to them. NO ONE should put their hands on ANYONE! Don’t hit someone, then play victim when you get hit back! I’m so sick and tired of people doing that!