Who Hates Accountability More: Men or Women?

For years, I’ve seen men on social media talk about how women hate accountability. But judging by what a lot of men do, I see they hate accountability, too. You would think that by the way they pressure women about accountability, they would have no problem with accountability themselves. But that’s obviously and certainly not the case.

Whenever I see women talk about how men cheat on them or abuse them, there’s always men underneath there saying, “That’s just the men y’all deal with!” Instead of calling out these abusive, cheating men. Instead of NOT cheating and NOT abusing women, they tell women that it’s their fault for “choosing the wrong men”.

Men’s responses under posts where women are talking about sexual harassment and rape disgust me, too. Instead of listening to the message women are giving, they’ll act like they don’t know what counts as rape, sexual harassment or consent. Instead of NOT raping and sexually harassing women, they will tell women to “watch what they wear” or “watch how they act around men”.

I’ve even heard men say if women “armed themselves more” or learned some type of self defense, they wouldn’t get raped or sexually harassed. So, instead of NOT raping women and telling other men not to do it, they would rather tell women to be more dangerous, violent, and threatening. And what about little girls that get raped by grown men? Because that’s definitely happening all over the world! Men don’t just rape and sexually harass grown women. They get little girls, too. Are little girls supposed to have guns or know how to defend herself against a grown man?

I’ve been hearing men complain about women putting them on child support since I was a little girl. But if they took care of their children instead of impregnating multiple women and trying to run out on them, they wouldn’t have that problem. If they weren’t so quick to sleep with women without protection, they wouldn’t have that problem. Sometimes, I hear some men say that they do want to be in their child’s lives, but it’s the woman who keeps them away and put them on child support anyway for the money. That’s a fair argument. But when women say men do bad things to them, men tell them to “choose better men”. How come this doesn’t apply to them? How come they can’t choose better women? If they chose better women, they wouldn’t have that problem. …But they don’t want to hear that!

I see YouTubers like Derrick Jaxn and celebrities like Steve Harvey telling women what to look for in a man, how to attract a man, which men to avoid, and this, that, and the other. But none of these men are telling other men to change how they treat women. They’re always talking to women and telling women what to do. Why is that?

And if you ask me, I’m starting to think these types of men who are always telling women which men to avoid are the exact men women should avoid. I think a lot of these men are warning women about themselves when they do that, pretending that they’re talking about other men. And I think a lot of them don’t even realize that they are warning women about themselves when they do that because I think it’s something in their subconscious that’s doing that for them.

Men talk like they hate single moms soooo much on social media. They say that single moms ruin kids lives, but none of them talk about how they create single moms. If single moms are so bad, why do men keep creating them? A woman never gets pregnant by herself. Men who impregnate women and leave them are the ones creating single moms. They’re literally complaining about their own problem that THEY create, but try to blame women for it, like it’s just the woman’s fault. Stop impregnating women you don’t want kids with. ….But they don’t want to hear that!

It sounds to me that men hate accountability just as much as they claim women hate accountability, especially when it comes to disrespecting and abusing women. They always have an excuse for why they do things that they aren’t supposed to. Men hating accountability is also why they put the blame on women for so many things that they do. This is why they want women to “choose better men” instead of BEING BETTER MEN.

I believe this is why they pressure women with accountability so much anyway. Men hate accountability so much, that they want women to be more accountable for their actions than men are for theirs, so they won’t have to be accountable for theirs. If women are more accountable than them, they don’t have to worry about being accountable for what they do—that’s what I feel like men are saying when they talk so much about accountability to women.

I believe this society was built and is run by people who hate accountability, particularly men and that’s why so many people in this society hate it. So if you ask me, I think women hate accountability for their actions and so do men. Men are NOT more accountable for their own actions than women, no matter what they say!

What Is A Mistake?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary website, a mistake is 1) a wrong judgement or misunderstanding; 2) a wrong action or statement proceeding faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge, or inattention. In my own words, a mistake is a wrong thing someone does or says, but wasn’t intending to. For example, you writing too quickly and you accidentally misspell something because of it and you have to erase. Or grabbing something out the fridge and it slips out of your hands and breaks. You didn’t throw it on the floor on purpose. It just slipped out of your hand.

Many people call things “mistakes” that aren’t mistakes. They’re CHOICES. But because they regret it later, they want to soften what they did, so instead of admitting they made a poor choice, they’ll say they “made a mistake”.

“I made a mistake and cheated on my spouse.”

“I made a mistake and said something I shouldn’t have said out of anger.”

“I made a mistake and wore blackface and called someone a racial slur.”

“I made a mistake and raped someone.”

“I made a mistake and abused someone.”

“I made a mistake and bullied someone.”

So many people say things like this and claim they are mistakes. These aren’t mistakes because all people know right from wrong. We were taught since we were babies right from wrong. It’s up to us to CHOOSE right or wrong. A lot of people CHOOSE to do WRONG things, then don’t want to own up to their choice.

You knew you were in a relationship/married when you slept with someone that wasn’t your partner. It’s not like you didn’t know you were already with someone. You knew doing that was wrong, which is why you did it behind your partner’s back and lied about it. You knew sleeping with someone that wasn’t your partner would hurt them…but you did it anyway. Now that you got caught and you see the hurt on your partner’s face, you want to say it was “a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

Everyone knows wearing blackface is racist. Everyone knows what racial slurs are. You went online and did it anyway. And now that you’re getting dragged for it (like you should), you want to claim you “made a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

When you picked on that kid in school for whatever reason, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew the kid would be and was hurt by it. But you did it anyway. And kept doing it. You didn’t “make a mistake” and become a bully. You made A CHOICE!

When you had sex without a condom or birth control, you knew beforehand that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. You don’t sleep around unprotected, then say “I made a mistake and now I’m pregnant” or “I made a mistake and got somebody pregnant”. You made A CHOICE!

Instead of saying, “We’re all human and we all make mistakes”, I want us to start saying, “We’re all human and we all make CHOICES”. We have to start being more honest with ourselves and admitting that we CHOOSE to do bad things sometimes.

A lot of people like using “free will” as excuse to absolve themselves from accountability for bad choices as well. Yes we have free will to choose what we want to do, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to what we do or that what we do won’t hurt someone else.

I believe that if more of us admitted to making bad choices instead of calling our bad choices “mistakes”, we will think twice about doing certain things. If we keep calling our bad choices “mistakes”, a lot of us won’t try to do better because in our heads, we’re not doing anything wrong. We’re just “making mistakes”.

Why Are There So Many Books Telling Women How To Find Good Men, But None Telling Men How To Treat Women?

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

When I first heard about Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, I was actually excited. I liked Steve Harvey. He’s one of my favorite comedians. I was so set on getting that book and reading what he had to say. I just knew it would be funny and full of wisdom.

But after some thinking and reading, I realized, Hmm…why should a woman have to “think like a man” in order to find a good man? Why can’t she just be herself? How come no one ever tells men to “think like a woman” in order to find a good woman?

At that moment, I realized that there are so many books like this telling women how they should think and act in order to attract and keep men. These books basically tell women that if men don’t respect them, it’s somehow their faults. If men sexually harass or rape them, it’s somehow their faults because of how they were acting or dressing. If men cheat on them, it’s somehow their faults because there must have been something they did to drive him away. Maybe her attitude was bad. Maybe she was nagging too much. Maybe she was giving too much sex or not enough. It’s somehow always the woman’s fault when men are caught doing something they aren’t supposed to do to women.

But when we think on the contrary on the side of men, there aren’t as many books telling men how to treat women at all. There aren’t any books telling men how they should think, dress, and act to attract and keep a woman. There aren’t as many books telling men that women aren’t asking for sexual harassment or rape just because of what she was wearing or how she was acting. There aren’t as many books teaching men self control and that being faithful to a woman is what they’re supposed to do. The things men do to women are usually glossed over or justified.

I believe that these books are nothing but sexist brainwashing. Men don’t want to take responsibility when they cross over women. So, they do and say things like this to put all the blame and pressure on women.

Besides, who is Steve Harvey to tell women how they should be to find a good man? How many wives has he gone through? Didn’t he cheat on one of them? He’s not even the man a woman should want anyway. These are the type of men who are writing these books. Men who cheat on women and don’t treat women very well themselves telling women that it’s them. That’s why they write them. They know the problem is themselves, but they don’t want to accept it.

I highly advise women to never read these types of relationship books. They don’t have women’s best interests in mind and they are all used to keep men from being held accountable for how they treat women and make women think it’s all because of them if men mistreat them.

There are tons of women who do exactly what all these books “advise” them to do and men still have a way to disrespect, cheat on, harass or rape them. That’s why women are always surprised when an extremely beautiful woman or a woman who is supposedly good at sex or has everything men claim they want in a woman still gets cheated on or involved in a bad relationship/marriage.

It’s time we start admitting that it’s not always the woman’s fault when these things happen. Men choose to do these things to women and blame women for it when it gets done.

Respect, trust, and how you treat others is and should be a two way street. There should never be anyone saying one side is more accountable for doing things that warrants respect than the other. If women have to be and act a certain way for them to keep men and gain respect from them, then men should be held accountable to do the same.

The fact that we still have to have conversations like this is proof that sexism is still a huge problem here and we still have a long way to go in fixing it. I find it very sad.