When Black Men Diss Black Women, They Don’t Realize They’re Also Dissing Themselves

Over the years, I’ve heard many black men use statistics of all kinds to attack black women and treat them like they’re less than black men and aren’t good enough for black men. I’m pretty sure anyone who reads this post will know exactly what I’m talking about and have seen black men do this online themselves.

What black men don’t realize is that these statistics that they use to attack black women about are also a huge reflection of themselves. In this post, I’m going to name a few things I’ve seen many black men attack black women for online and explain how those very same things can be applied to them as well.

“Black women are the least likely women in the world to get married.” So many black men online love repeating this statistic like it doesn’t apply to them. But if black women are less likely to get married, what does that say about black men? It says that there’s a huge percentage of black men that aren’t marrying their own women! How are you complaining about black women being unmarried when it is YOUR job to marry them? Why aren’t you marrying your women? Also, they repeat this statistic like they’re getting married at a much higher rate than black women. Black men aren’t very likely to get married compared to other races of men in the world themselves.

Many black men will say it’s because of black women’s attitudes and they’re just not good enough to marry. But what makes them so good enough to marry black women? Many of these black men who repeat this statistic are not marriage material themselves. Many of them are abusers, cheaters, and users of women.

If you pay attention, almost, if not all of these black men who repeat this statistic online, are never married or been in a healthy, long term relationship with a black woman, or any woman, for that matter. Or if they have been married, they’ve been divorced multiple times. How do they get to talk so much about black women not being married when they can’t even get at least a long term relationship with a woman?

If they think marriage is so special and they know the type of woman that they want, how come they can never find and marry these women? When black women end up with the wrong men, they say black women are looking in the wrong places for men and never giving good men a chance. Are these types of black men looking in the wrong places for women and not giving good women a chance? Or do they just know that no woman would ever want to be with them, especially long term? And if they do get this good woman that they claim they want, they’re going to do nothing, but dog her and ruin her self esteem and her life.

“There’s a huge percentage of black women that are single mothers and they are ruining the black community by raising fatherless children.”          This can easily be reflected on black men by me saying that this statement means that black men are impregnating large percentages of black women across this country, abandoning black women to take care of their children on their own, and have the audacity to mock and attack black women for something they did.

If there weren’t so many black men sleeping with black women unprotected and leaving them when they get pregnant, they wouldn’t have to worry about there being so many single mothers in the black community. And if these black men think that children being fatherless are destroying the black community, why aren’t they staying with their children? Why do they keep abandoning them? And if they aren’t yet ready to take care of child, why do they keep creating them?

There are also black men who say that there are so many black single mothers because black women “don’t know how to choose to the right man to get pregnant by”. But what is that saying about black men if there’s this many black men impregnating women and then abandoning them? Why is there so many black men that aren’t stepping up to the plate and raising the children that they are creating?

I honestly believe the real reason why so many black men hate single mothers is because THEY KNOW it is a reflection of their failures as men and as fathers. One of the worst things a father can do to a child is abandon them. From the way I see it, if a man abandons his child, he is a failure as a man.

When they look around the black community and see so many single mothers and so many fatherless children, it makes them think, are we this much of a failure to our women and children? But instead of taking that thought and doing better as men and fathers, they project and flip it in a way to attack black women.

“Most black women have multiple kids by multiple men.”                         My response to this statement is pretty much the same as black men’s statements about single mothers. They love picking black women apart for being single mothers, but they don’t see how that reflects on themselves. Just like how they don’t see how this statement reflects back on them. What is it saying about black men that the majority of black women have children by multiple men? It’s saying that the majority of black men are sleeping around with different women, having children with them, and then leaving. With many of them not even making an effort to take care of the children they created at all.

It’s easy for black men to sit up on a high horse and criticize black single mothers with multiple kids because black women are more likely to stay with their children, no matter how many they have. So, of course, it’s going to look like they have a lot of kids.

Black men, on the other hand, can have a child, abandon them, then pretend they don’t have any kids. But if these black men were single fathers who stayed with the kids they created, you would see that they will have multiple kids by multiple mothers, just like how they complain about black women having multiple kids by multiple men. And would more than likely have more kids than single black mothers.

It’s a shame that black women are criticized for staying with their kids and being smart and strong enough to leave the men that didn’t work out for them, while black men who abandon their children time and time again get a free pass.

“Too many black women are overweight or obese.”                                                       Not only do black men who say this rarely talk about how there’s a huge number of them who are overweight and obese also (when they do, it’s only after black women call them out for not talking about themselves), they don’t realize that the “overweight” women include the “thick” women they are constantly swooning over, not just the women who are too big for their liking. Most thick women are overweight by medical and statistics standards. They also like to pick on black women who are thin for not only being too skinny, but also for not having big boobs or a big butt. And don’t let her be athletic and muscular. They’ll say she looks like a man, especially if she’s dark skinned! They complain about black women being overweight, but don’t even like the women who aren’t overweight.                                                                                         

“Black women who date white men are bedwenches.”                                       These types of black men who are always complaining about and criticizing black women are always crying whenever they see a black woman in a relationship with a white man (at the same time saying they don’t care who black women date; we know that’s a lie), but they never talk about how black men date outside of their race at a much higher rate than black women. They are also constantly putting nonblack women on a pedestal over black women ALL THE TIME!

This ties into what I said about them not marrying their women, yet complaining about their women not being married. They don’t want to marry their own women, but get mad when their women marry men outside of their race. You don’t want to marry your women. Who else is going to marry them if you don’t? You don’t want to marry your own women, yet you hate when they’re single or marry outside of their race? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

Also, doesn’t this sound a lot like what abusers do to their victims? Tell and convince them that no one else wants them, but the abusers don’t want anyone else to have them?

These statements prove to me that black men who say these things not only severely lack self awareness, they severely lack accountability as well. They never think any kind of critique applies to them, but they think every critique applies to black women. I previously wrote a post on my blog about men (of all races, not just black men) hating accountability. Lacking accountability is huge for men, regardless of how much they claim women hate accountability.

Writing this post reminded me of a comment I saw on a YouTube channel some time ago that said something along the lines of, “Black men only talk about black women’s statistics because they are embarrassed about their own”. And I couldn’t agree more! That’s exactly why they do it!

If you know of any other negative statements you’ve heard black men say about black women that also reflects negatively back on them that I missed, leave them in the comments.

Black Women Blaming Black Men For Why They Don’t Wear Their Natural Hair

Many times on social media, I’ve seen black women say that they don’t go natural because black men don’t like natural hair. If one black man said something negative about natural hair on social media, that man would not only get dragged, but many black women would say, “That’s why we don’t wear natural hair” or “We wear weave and straight hair because black men like it”.

Another thing I’ve seen many times on social media is black women who actually do go natural, then say “black men don’t pay attention to me or compliment me when I wear natural hair”, so they go back to wearing weave or straightening their hair.

But on the flip side, when black men say they don’t like weave and they prefer women with natural hair, so many black women respond with “We don’t care what black men like or don’t like!”. Why is it that black women need all this attention and reassurance from black men, all of a sudden, when they wear their natural hair, but as soon as they wear weave or straightened hair, they don’t care what black men think?

I remember seeing a tweet some time ago where a black man said he didn’t like box braids and not only did black women respond with saying they “didn’t care what he liked”, they also posted pictures under his tweet with them in box braids out of spite to his tweet.

Why can’t black women do that when black men say something negative about their natural hair? Why do they all of a sudden care what black men think when they wear their natural hair? Why do they use black men saying something negative about natural hair as more of an excuse to wear weave and straightened hair, but when black men say something negative about weave and straightened hair, it doesn’t make them stop wearing weave or straightened hair?

Black women who use this excuse are full of crap! I’m sorry! Black men are not the reason you don’t wear your natural hair. Black men are not the reason you’re obsessed with weave and straightened hair. You’re not refusing to wear your natural hair because black men don’t like it. You’re refusing to wear your natural hair because YOU don’t like it! And you wear weave and straight hair, not because black men like it, but because YOU like it.

If you like wearing weave and straight hair, by all means, wear it. But STOP blaming black men for why you do it. Nobody is telling you to wear weave and straightened hair, but yourself!

This makes me think of how women of all races, not just black women, say that they wear makeup, dress in revealing clothing, and get plastic surgeries because men don’t pay attention to them when they don’t have makeup on, aren’t dressing in revealing clothing, or have their natural bodies. But as soon as a man says they prefer women without makeup and with natural bodies, want women to stop dressing in such revealing clothing, or women look better without makeup and surgeries, women say they don’t care what men think. Again, why do women care so much about what men think when they don’t have on makeup, aren’t dressing in revealing clothing, or don’t have surgeries, but when men say they don’t like those things when they wear them, all of a sudden, they don’t care what men think again?

Women get mad at men for saying they prefer how women look naturally because men busted their excuse. They love using men as an excuse for why they put so much unnatural things on and in their bodies for aesthetics and wear revealing clothing, but as soon as men say they don’t like all that stuff, women can’t use that as an excuse anymore.

The real reason women look for attention and reassurance from men suddenly when they wear their natural hair and go without makeup, dressing in revealing clothing, and surgeries is because they’re insecure with how they look naturally. They want men to give them more attention and reassurance so they can feel better. But when they wear weave, makeup, dress in revealing clothing, and get surgeries, their confidence is on 100%, so then all of a sudden, they no longer care what men think.

I’m sick of women blaming men for their choices. Wear weave, makeup, revealing clothing, and get surgeries all you want. But at least be honest and say you get them because YOU want to get them. Not because “men like it” or “men don’t like you when you don’t have it”. You prefer YOURSELF in weave and straightened hair. You prefer YOURSELF in makeup. You prefer YOURSELF in revealing clothing. You prefer YOURSELF in surgeries. You don’t get these things because men don’t like you without these things. YOU don’t like you without it.

Quit blaming that on men! Stop acting like you need so much reassurance from men when you’re in your natural state, then acting like you couldn’t care less about their reassurance when you’re wearing weave, straightened hair, makeup, revealing clothing, and plastic surgeries! Or quit lying and saying you don’t care about men’s opinions or their attention when you KNOW you do!

Why Are People Afraid To Have Daughters?

Photo: (Wikimedia Commons)

I’ve been hearing people say for years that they pray that they never have daughters because they’re afraid she will grow up to sleep with a lot of boys and dress in revealing clothing. As a matter of fact, I remember a particular conversation some girls were having when I was in middle school, where one of them said they didn’t want a daughter because they would be trying to sneak out of the house with boys and things of that nature, and other girls agreed with her.

This made me ponder, ‘Why are people so afraid of having daughters that they think about them being sexually active or what type of clothes they will be wearing before they’re even born, but no one’s ever afraid of having sons that grow up to beat, rape, and/or sexually harass women? I’ve never heard anybody say, “I never want a son because boys grow up to abuse women”.

So many people swear that their daughters will grow up to be a “whore” and live in constant fear of that with every passing year their daughters grow up, but nobody ever believes that their sons will grow up to be abusers, despite the fact that the number of women getting abused by men continues to remain high every year. I know a lot of people will say, “I raised my sons better than that.” Okay. You trust you raised your son better than to be an abuser, but you don’t trust your daughter’s sexuality?

Also, I believe it’s more likely that a boy will grow up to be an abuser or rapist than a girl will grow up to be the sexually active person so many people fear they will. I hate to say that, but hearing all these stories about women getting abused and raped by men makes me believe that.

Why are people more afraid of their daughters being sexually active and wearing revealing clothing than they are of their sons growing up to be abusers? Why does a girl’s sexuality have so many people in fear of having daughters, but men abusing women doesn’t make anyone afraid to have sons?

On the flip side, I’ve heard people say that they didn’t want to have daughters because of how many abusers there are in the world and they don’t want their daughters to go through that. Again, why does men abusing women make so many people afraid to have daughters, but it doesn’t make them afraid to have sons?

I believe this is deep rooted misogyny and sexism. And I believe when some people say they don’t want to have daughters because they’re “afraid they’re going to get abused”, they say that to make it seem like their fear of having a daughter is a good thing and isn’t deep rooted in misogyny.

The real reason you don’t want to have a daughter is because you hate girls and women. You’ve been brainwashed to believe girls are more difficult to raise than boys. The truth is people just care more about their girls because this society is built on controlling women, especially sexually. So much so, that they try to do it long before they’re even born. So many people out there don’t care about what their sons do. Their sons do whatever they want while they’re putting a microscope on their daughters.

And I’ve heard both men and women say they pray that they never have daughters because of both of these reasons, so I don’t want men and women coming under this post to point fingers at each other about who says it or doesn’t. I’ve heard a lot of women in my life repeat internalized sexist ideas.

So many people are so eager to control the sexualities of their young girls so much, but they never talk about how they’re going to control their sons from abusing girls and women as they grow up.

How are any of you more afraid of how your daughters’ sexualities might be than you are of your sons being abusers? How are your daughters’ sexualities more of a threat to you than your sons being abusers, harassers, and rapists? You’re more afraid of female sexuality than you are of violence. I will never understand that.

The Side Effects Of Interracial Dating

I’ve noticed that a lot of black men and women online who date or marry interracially love to talk down about their own people. They are always talking about what they hate about each other, how much they aren’t attracted to each other, or how much happier they are dating interracially.

I’ve always asked myself whenever I see those types of comments that: If these black men and women are so happy dating interracially, why are they still talking about each other so much? Why don’t they just take their nonblack partner and be happy and just leave each other alone? Because I feel like that would be the most simple solution. If you’re so happy dating interracially, why would there still be an urgent need to talk about each other so much?

The more I thought about this question, the more I began to believe that this just might be a side effect that black people experience while interracial dating or promoting it. And there are a few reasons why I believe these side effects occur.

One of the reasons is, I believe, deep down, black people feel like they aren’t supposed to be dating interracially at all. So, all the negative talk is them looking for excuses to keep doing it anyway. They would even use negative stories about each other in the news and negative statistics as an excuse for why they date interracially.

Another reason is that, deep down, they feel like the only way to appeal to other races of people is to hate their own people. I believe that these people are, knowingly or unknowingly, trying to appeal to the racist side of these people of other races. Deep down, they think that they have a higher chance of attracting other races of people by showing that they hate their own people.

The other reason I have is that these black men and women are only dating/marrying interracially to spite each other. Based on some of the stories I’ve heard online and in real life, a lot of black men and women feel hurt by each other. A lot of them feel rejected, abused, used, unattractive to, and/or cheated by each other, and they’re just tired of it. They don’t really want to date interracially. They want to date their own people, but they don’t feel like their own people treat them right. So, they date interracially to be happier or get revenge on each other.

And I’m pretty sure there are some of those who only talk negatively about each other and promote interracial dating/marriage just for attention on social media. They’re only doing it to get people talking about them and get likes or whatever they’re looking for.

But also, another main thing I noticed is that a lot of black women who date or promote dating interracially hate when black men date interracially and vice versa. It’s the huge hypocrisy for me that has me questioning even more. If these people think dating and marrying their own people is so bad, why are they so mad when they see each other dating interracially? I thought that was their main point. I think this is yet another side effect of interracial dating. Dating interracially has them confused. They don’t know what they really want.

I’m just tired of seeing black people throw each other under the bus just because they want to date/marry interracially. They can really just go do it and be happy, but they won’t. There’s probably many more reasons than what I named here for why black people do this, but those are the only ones I can think of for now. I’m starting to believe black people have these side effects because they feel like they aren’t supposed to be dating interracially in the first place.

Is Interracial Dating Abuse Being Swept Under The Rug?

A reader of mine brought to my attention that interracial dating isn’t always sunshine and rainbows like some black people make it seem like. I didn’t really know what to say about this. But this video I found on YouTube, which I will share at the end of this post, is perfect for what I needed to say here.

This video highlighted a story of a black woman finally coming forward about the abuse she suffered from her nonblack husband. The focus of the video is that nowadays, interracial dating is more promoted and glorified like they’re better than black relationships, but in a lot of those relationships, the black partner is dealing with abuse. And I’ve heard many stories about black people dealing with racism from their nonblack partner’s family or the nonblack partners themselves.

Now, I’m not using this video to discourage people from dating interracially. Because I’ve heard many stories about black women talking about the abuse they suffered from black men and vice versa. So in a lot of cases, black relationships aren’t always better either.

I honestly don’t really care about interracial dating to be honest. I just don’t like how black people are always so loud about the abuse they endure from each other. They can’t wait to share a story about a black man abusing a black woman or a black woman killing a black man and use these stories as an excuse to promote interracial dating, but when stories of racism, abuse, and murder happen with interracial couples, no one is saying anything because it goes against their agenda.

I want black people to start treating each other better. And I don’t want black people glorifying interracial relationships like they’re any better because in a lot of cases, they’re not. Check out the video below if you like and let me know what you think of it.

Karen

The ongoing trend on the internet is black people calling racist white women “Karen”. Every time a story of a white woman caught on video harassing a black person goes viral, black people call them that.

A white woman will call the police on a black child just for selling water. Black people will go: “😂😂😂😂 Karen!”

A white woman will harass a black man or woman trying to enter THEIR OWN HOME. Black people will go: “😂😂😂😂 Karen!”

A white woman will harass a black man or woman in a store for something that’s completely not her business. Black people will go: “😂😂😂😂 Karen!”

The huge problem I have with black people calling these white women “Karen” and laughing and making memes whenever they harass a black person is, not only does it seem like we’re not taking what they’re doing seriously enough, we’re also letting them off too easily.

Also, white people for centuries have been calling our people the worst names they can think of, mainly “niggers”. But we think calling them “Karen” is cute and funny and will hurt them (knowing white people, they will act like being called Karen hurts them just so they can pretend to be victims and absolve themselves from taking accountability for their racism). Why are we calling them anything except what they are? RACIST!

I feel like if a white man did any of these things, no one would be trying to give him a cute name. They’ll be calling him all kinds of insults, as well as racist. It makes me think people don’t take racism coming from white women as seriously as they do with white men. I believe that has been going on all throughout history.

Racism from white women is glossed over a lot. People barely talk about white women’s involvement with the KKK or how they were so racist that they didn’t care that their husbands raped black women because they didn’t consider black women equal to them, or how they cheered on and watched as their husbands burned crosses on black people’s lawns or burned down whole homes, or how they yelled and screamed “nigger!” at any black person that came around them just as loud as the white men, or how they helped white men conduct horrible medical experiments on black people that made them very ill, injured, or even killed them, or how they’re always right along with the racist laws white men introduced to keep black people down like the Jim Crow laws, laws that kept black people from voting, slavery, job discrimination, and much much more. I can go on and on.

Why are so many people so easy on white women when it comes to racism? I have a feeling it probably comes from sexism and how a lot of people in society don’t take much of what any woman does seriously because they consider them weaker and inferior to men. Female pedophiles aren’t talked about as much as male pedophiles. Female child abusers aren’t talked about as much as male child abusers. Female domestic violence perpetrators aren’t talked about as much as the male ones. And so on and so forth.

Women in this society get passes for a lot of things, especially if they’re white. I also think people don’t think white women have the same power as white men, so they don’t think a white woman can hurt them in the same way a white man can.

But I have news for anyone who thinks that. Racist white women are always in close quarters with racist white men. They can easily get a black person arrested, beaten, or killed, just by lying, crying, and playing victim.

Racism from white women isn’t something to be taken lightly. Call these women out just like we should call out any racist! Stop calling these women “Karen” and start calling them what they are. RACIST! Racism isn’t a game, joke, or meme.

Black People Are No Better Than White People

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard a black person say that other black people treat them so badly that they would rather hang out with white people because white people treat them so much better. Or how many black people have said other black people weren’t interested in dating them until they started dating white people.

A lot of black people like to laugh at people who say this and call them coons, but before you do that, think for a second. There’s a reason why these people feel this way. And they tell us all the time. These are genuine feelings these people feel. Black people shouldn’t treat each other so bad that our people don’t even feel comfortable and accepted by us.

We as black people are always complaining about how white people treat us. We’re always complaining about how white people negatively profile us and kill unarmed black people, which are legit reasons for us to be upset. However, in our own communities, the crimes and murders committed against each other is way higher. Black people are more likely to be hurt and/or killed by another black person way more than by a white person.

And don’t get me started on how so many black people project colorism on each other. So many of our people say, do, and think the worst about dark skinned people. We get mad about Hollywood not putting enough dark skinned people in the media in a positive and tasteful way, but a lot of times, our people are the ones who give more attention to people with lighter skin. Our people are also the main ones referring to dark skinned people as derogatory terms—“black”, “crusty”, “burnt”, etc. This way of referring to black people sounds like racist terms from white people, but white people usually aren’t the ones saying this to black people. It’s other black people! As colorist as so many black people are, if black people owned a Hollywood, they would probably erase dark skinned people out just like white Hollywood does.

A lot of black people on a regular basis look down on natural hair and refuse to wear it, but want to cry when white people say something negative about it. Or cry when they see a white woman wear an afro. Anything negative a white person says about black hair, trust me. MORE black people have said the exact same thing, if not worst. Before these current years where natural hair is now seen as more acceptable, lots of black people used to call them nappy headed and try to persuade them to straighten their hair. So many black people are upset when black people with dreads are refused jobs or prevented to graduate school, but I’ve heard black people say the worst things I’ve ever heard about dreads, sounding just like a racist white person.

Black people are online everyday trying to explain to nonblacks that they can’t say nigga, but call each other niggas all day long. When a nonblack person actually does say it, black people crumble. The Boondocks did an episode about that, titled “The S Word”, where Riley’s teacher said the word nigga and Riley acted like he was so hurt when he says nigga probably more than anybody in the whole show! And what I hate the most is a lot of us try to lie and say the word actually means “king” and comes from the Ethiopian word “negus”, but a lot of times when black people call each other niggas, nothing positive follows that in their sentence. So if the word means “king”, how come when black people say it, it isn’t always in a positive way? And if the word means king, why do we crumble so much when white people say it? It’s because we know what that word means and where it comes from and it DOESN’T mean king!

I notice that some black people online, when they see interracial couples, they use the black person’s partner turning out to be racist or their partner ending up abusing or killing them as an excuse to turn other black people away from interracial dating, but both black men and black women are more likely to be abused, hurt, and killed by each other than in interracial relationships.

Black people get angry when white businesses turn them away because of their names, yet in the next breath, make fun of another black person’s name, calling their names “ghetto”.

What’s sad is all this antiblackness that black people push on each other gets passed down to their children. And we have the nerve to act shocked when a black child says they feel ugly because they’re dark skinned or a 4 year old black girl throws a fit because her hair isn’t straight.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t say or do anything about white people who disrespect, abuse, and kill us. I’m saying that we should treat each other better! We can’t cry about how racist people treat us, then turn around and treat each other the exact same way. It doesn’t work that way!

Nobody Cares About How Colorism Affects Black Men

The topic of colorism is becoming more and more widespread now than it ever has been. I’m extremely proud of that because I really think that needs to be talked about more and the people guilty of perpetrating it needs to be called out and held accountable. Especially since this topic is ignored, deflected against, and swept under the rug A LOT.

Although I’m happy about colorism being talked about more, I did notice one problem with it. When talking about it, most people only talk about how it affects black women. Rarely are there ever any conversations about helping dark skinned men be confident in their skin or protect them from being discriminated against or disrespected for their skin. When dark skinned men are attacked for their skin, there aren’t as many people defending them like they do with dark skinned women who are attacked.

Lots of people point out how dark skinned women are overlooked, undercasted, and poorly represented in Hollywood. Lots of people called out the black men who publicly took swipes at Lupita Nyong’o for her dark skin. Lots of people dragged Kodak Black into outer space for his derogatory comments against dark skinned women. Oprah did an episode about colorism on her Lifeclass show. GREAT episode, by the way. I loved how everyone got to share their experiences with colorism and how they tackled the issue. But there was one problem. WHERE WERE THE BLACK MEN?!? Tons of black women shared their stories with colorism on the episode, but where were the black men to share their stories with colorism? (To add, another thing I wasn’t quite okay with in the episode was how they laughed and joked when they started talking about the Paper Bag Test. There’s NOTHING funny about that! Still to this day, many black people are mistreated, disrespected, discriminated against, and undervalued because their skin color is darker than a paper bag. If we’re going to talk about this stuff, we have to take it seriously! Sugarcoating and making jokes is NOT the way to solve a problem).

I will use some black male celebrities here as an example to prove that nobody really cares about how colorism affects black men.

I believe this happened back in 2009. There was an altercation where Fabolous went at T-Pain because he thought that T-Pain made a tweet saying, ‘Fuck Fabolous’. In response to this, Fabolous sent out a series of tweets:

But thats jus a taste of what u’ll get if u fuck wit me via twitter, Back to my Twitter chillin

Ok so i jus got word that it wasnt Tpain’s twitter page who said Fuck Fabolous..a fake page, w/ 900 followers.. oooops, damn i went in LOL

F.Y.I. This is not a beef.. jus Twitter fun. someone retweeted that Tpain said Fuck Me on twitter & truthfully i dont know if he said or not

#tpainbetter chill cuz i will air this ***** via twitter

#tpainbetter thank me.. he’s #1 TT.. the only place his name gonna b #1 for a lonnnggggggg time!

#tpainbetter apologize & blame it on the al-a-a-al-a-al-cohol

#tpainbetter stop singin in the fan… that aint talent we can all do that

#tpainbetter audition to be a California Raisin.. He’s done!

#uknowhowiknowuregay cuz u do a song wit Lil Wayne & change ur name to T-Wayne…eeeel

#tpainbetter stop playin for JayZ buys every autotune machine in the world & end his career

#tpainbetter stay his ass outta the sun for the rest of his life!!

#tpainbetter give Mr. Monopoly back his top hats!!

#tpainbetter not meet me in Brooklyn

After D.O.A., #tpainbetter not be mad, UPS is hiring!!

Jus heard Tpain says Fuck JayZ & Fuck Fabolous too over Twitter… Ok, now me & my twiggas/Street Twitter Ditta Dam must go in on him!

It was later confirmed that T-Pain didn’t really tweet that and it came from a fake page. As you can see, Fabolous admitted it in one of those tweets in the series. Even after knowing the tweet was fake, he still didn’t stop or even apologize for anything he said.

And even if T-Pain did actually tweet that about him, why does ONE statement generate this type of response? Obviously something else is going on with him here and I believe I know what it is, but I’m not going to get into it here because I feel like it will shift the focus of this post.

In one of the tweets, after realizing it wasn’t really T-Pain who made the tweet, Fabolous said he said all this not to diss, but for “fun”. This is what happens when black men get attacked for their dark skin. It gets classified as “fun” and people dismiss the blatant colorism because of it, thinking, “It’s just a joke”, “We’re just having fun”, etc. And I think this is one of the main reasons why no one speaks out against colorism against black men. But people, colorism is NOT funny!

And speaking of funny, I don’t even think anyone defended T-Pain against Fabolous for saying any of this. They just thought it was funny. Were T-Pain a dark skinned female celebrity Fabolous was saying all of this to, black Twitter would’ve definitely DISMEMBERED him and nobody would’ve cared that he said all that just for “Twitter fun”. As a matter of fact, I think him saying it was just “Twitter fun” would’ve made black Twitter angrier if T-Pain were a woman! Especially in this day and age when black women are being defended more against colorism than ever before.

Even though he doesn’t talk about it much, like most black men when it comes to colorism, T-Pain talked about how record labels rejected him because he wanted to be an R&B singer. They believed he would be better off going into rap. I believe they did this because he was a dark skinned man with dreadlocks. They thought he would be better being a thugged out rapper. Most dark skinned rappers had thuggish or threatening images. Think the likes of 50 Cent. I just don’t know why Hollywood is so bent on portraying our dark skinned men this way. He was obviously being discriminated against because of his looks, colorism, and racism. People don’t want to look at it this way, but it’s so obvious.

Akon is another black male celebrity that gets attacked for his dark skin quite a bit. I’ve heard lots of rappers say, “My car black like Akon” in their songs. If I hear another rapper make that stupid line in their raps, I’m going to lose it! On his Behind The Music episode, Akon mentioned how he would get into a lot of fights in school because he was picked on a lot. And I’m sure he was picked on because he was dark skinned and African. We know how a lot of black people believe all of America’s negative, racist portrayals of Africa in its media and respond accordingly. Even his mother who featured on the episode said that kids used to call him names, like “African Booty Scratcher”. We ALL know that’s a word black people use to attack someone who’s dark skinned. (Don’t try to deny it! Nobody has ever called a light skinned or mixed person that!)

And Akon has a brother named Bu who gets attacked for his dark skin as well. Look up his interviews on YouTube and read the comments. I’m happy that there were some people defending him, but the amount of colorist remarks in the comment sections on his videos are still just downright disgusting! With some of the comments I’ve seen, you would think that there were a bunch of racist white people trolling his page, but I know for a fact that most of those comments were from other black people.

A while back, there was one comment I saw on one of the videos that complimented his skin and said it was beautiful and lots of people responded to it negatively. What was the negativity about? Because someone thought a man’s dark skin was beautiful when they considered it ugly and it made them feel some type of way? No one would’ve responded to that comment negatively if he were a woman. They would agree and call her a melanin goddess and say things like, “Black don’t crack”.

If you can remember and think back, Bernie Mac was the brunt of quite a few jokes about his skin color in movies and TV shows.

I’ve heard people make remarks about Wesley Snipes’ dark skin as well.

And we all know Biggie’s line where he said in one of his songs that he’s “BLACK and ugly as ever”.

Tommy Sotomayor talked in many videos about how he was teased for his dark skin growing up, even by his own mother (That’s a HUGE thing to talk about as well when talking about colorism. A lot of this nonsense starts AT HOME, where dark skinned people’s OWN PARENTS and FAMILY MEMBERS make negative comments about their dark skin). He mentioned in one video that the first woman to compliment him for his skin in his life was a white woman (That’s a shame. As much as us black people complain about white people being racist, I shouldn’t be hearing any stories like this, but here we are).

Now, think about this. Have you noticed the amount of dark skinned male celebrities who have stage names where they’re calling themselves black? For example: Kodak BLACK, BLAC Youngsta (his is spelled without a ‘k’), CRISPY BLACK (This is an actual rapper’s name! Look it up! It surprised me too!), Michael BLACKson. And let’s not forget that almost every black person knows that one dark skinned man in their neighborhoods nicknamed “Black” or “Smoke”.

Is there a coincidence that all these black men are dark skinned and calling themselves “black”? How many light skinned or mixed men refer to themselves as “black” as a nickname or stage name?

And since I mentioned Michael Blackson, his whole gimmick in comedy is surrounded by making jokes about his dark skin and being from Africa. On his social media, he “jokes” with people who go back and forth making jokes about his dark skin and being African. I believe comedy is his way of dealing with his pain of experiencing colorism and being attacked for his dark skin and being African all his life.

I see this pattern with many dark skinned men. I believe they were attacked and discriminated against for their dark skin for so long, they began to make fun of and attack themselves. I believe this is their way of dealing with their pain. This is why we see so many dark skinned men nicknaming themselves “Black”. This is why we see dark skinned men make so many dark skinned jokes about themselves and other dark skinned people. This is internalized racism.

When the topic of colorism comes up, especially when it’s time to talk about black men, I hear a lot of people say, “It’s not about colorism”, “It’s not that deep”, “It’s just jokes”, etc. All of these sayings are FALSE. They are all excuses. All deflecting. All gaslighting. All lies. All lame.

Another thing I’m tired of is when someone does point out how America is more discriminating and unfair, particularly within the justice system and with police, moreso with dark skinned men than anyone else, someone always has to respond with, “They treat light skinned men like that, too, because we’re all black”. This is another blatant lie to minimize colorism against dark skinned men, especially in the justice system. Dark skinned men are more likely to get harsher prison sentences for a given crime than anyone else. Dark skinned men are more likely to be killed by police than a light skinned or mixed man. Look at the news! All or most of the unarmed black men that Black Lives Matter is fighting for justice for that police have killed are dark skinned. We all know this. Why are we so dismissive and acting so blind?!?? I just don’t get it!

I believe people try to minimize colorism against dark skinned men because they want to uphold the belief that dark skinned women have it worst. And that’s just NOT true. All dark skinned black people, whether they’re a man or woman, experience colorism. People just don’t see it because men handle it differently and society handles it differently.

We really need to start including black men in discussions about colorism and allow them to share their stories and experiences with it. And black men also need to not be afraid to express these feelings and stories because I do think a lot of black men are afraid to talk about how colorism affects them. Maybe they feel it will make them look weak. Maybe they feel the topic hits too close to home.

I dont even know how or why colorism came about to only focus on black women. Maybe it’s a tactic used to turn black men and women against each other? Maybe it’s because black women want all the attention to be on themselves? I just don’t know.

We will only be able to heal if we talk about these things instead of denying it or sweeping it under the rug. Think about any other problem in life. You can never fix it unless you acknowledge and identify it first. Ignoring, making excuses, denying, and lying to yourself about the problem doesn’t make it go away or make it not exist. It makes it worst.

This colorism that dark skinned men experience is probably a huge reason why many of them overlook or find dark skinned women unattractive and prefer light skinned or nonblack women. As much as black women complain about black men overlooking them, especially if they’re dark skinned, many dark skinned black men have been overlooked, rejected, and put down by black women as well because of their dark skin; they just don’t speak out about it much.

I believe that dark skinned men who overlook and talk down about dark skinned women actually hate that the woman reminds them of how much they hate their own skin tone. Also, I think they may seek out light skinned or nonblack women because they don’t want their children to experience what they experienced in their lives due to dark skin. If they date or marry a light skinned or nonblack woman, chances are their children will come out light skinned.

I really hope we can start including black men in our conversations about colorism very, very soon because these stories I highlighted in this post as well as many others I’ve heard and witnessed throughout my life really break my heart. I’m saddened. I’m hurt. I’m disgusted. We really need to resolve all the colorism issues between all black people. It’s not normal at all for our people to have these types of stories and nothing gets done about it. Or we pretend that it’s not that serious and it’s all in their heads.

It’s Not Because You’re Dark Skinned. It’s Your Attitude

When the topic of colorism is brought up, many people have knee jerk reactions to deny that discrimination and disrespect due to being dark skinned is the case. This statement, “It’s not because you’re dark skinned; it’s your attitude”, is one of them. I usually hear people saying it to dark skinned women when they talk about colorism.

I see this, as well as many other knee jerk reactions against colorism accusations, as nothing more than excuses. People don’t want to admit to hating dark skin, so they have all kinds of excuses to cover it up. I’ve seen dark skinned people do nothing, but mind their own business and people still treat them rudely. People still call them names that insult their dark skin. So, it’s not just about attitude.

And if dark skin wasn’t an issue and it was just about attitude, why are there people who tell dark skinned women they’re pretty “to be dark”. Why can’t they just be pretty? To tell someone they’re attractive “to be dark” means you think dark skin usually isn’t attractive to you and now you’re shocked because you see an attractive person that’s dark skinned. And let’s not say people say that because of “preference” because no one has ever told a light skinned or mixed woman that they were pretty “to be light”. I’ve heard people say it the other way around, though: “If you’re ugly and you’re light skinned, I feel sorry for you”, “Being light skinned doesn’t automatically make you pretty”, etc. So, with these statements alone, obviously people feel some kind of way about dark skin. And these statements say a lot about how people view dark skin and light skin. What is it saying if people feel like they have to constantly remind everyone that light skin doesn’t automatically make someone pretty or dark skin doesn’t automatically make someone ugly?

Another thing that makes me believe this statement is a load of crap is a lot of times black men say this to dark skinned women, but not much later, you will hear black men talking about how sexy a Latina or other nonblack woman is when they have attitudes. If attitudes are unattractive, why are they only unattractive on dark skinned black women? Why is it attractive on nonblack women?

There is this one video I remember Tommy Sotomayor doing on dark skinned women and their attitudes. I don’t remember the name of it, but I do remember him saying something like overweight dark skinned women who have horrible attitudes should say to themselves, “I already have two strikes against me.” And I’m guessing he meant they should be nicer, but instead, their attitudes are even worst. First of all, what did he mean by this woman already having “two strikes” against her? While he was trying to make it seem like it was just her attitude in this video, he didn’t realize that he just exposed how people will automatically treat her differently, or I should say NEGATIVELY, because of these “two strikes”, which is her being overweight and her being dark skinned. And because she’s overweight and dark skinned, she has to be “nicer” to get people to like her and treat her right.

There was another video I saw from another YouTuber who said that it’s the attitudes of dark skinned women that make men want to get with light skinned women over them. He said that dark skinned women always complaining about how they are over looked for light skinned women is what makes them unattractive and that light skinned women are more attractive because they’re usually “more confident” than dark skinned women.

I feel like what they gloss over is how society usually treats light skinned women a lot better than they treat dark skinned women. Of course they will have more confidence! If society treated light skinned women like they treat dark skinned women, they would act the exact same way.

I don’t know why so many people in our society try to deny such obvious things when it comes to dark skin, but it really has to stop.

This is the thing people always love tiptoeing around when this topic is brought up. This society treats dark skinned people, especially women, like TRASH, especially if they’re overweight! Yet, people still want these people to just roll over and take it with a smile and say nothing about it.

STOP DENYING COLORISM! STOP IGNORING COLORISM! OPEN YOUR EYES AND START BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELVES!

Why Do Police Officers Keep Shooting Innocent Black Men For Assuming They Have Guns?

(Photo: Flickr)

A week or so ago, a friend of mine told me of the story of Stephon Clark, the 22 year old man who was shot by police in his own grandmother’s backyard because they assumed he was pointing a gun at them, when he was only using a cellphone. They fired 20 shots at this man. 20! Hearing my friend tell me this story broke my heart and made me sick.

An innocent man brutally murdered over absolutely nothing. Him being so young makes it worst. This story makes me think of many other stories I’ve heard of black men being shot by police because they assume they have guns, but they really have nothing. You would think after one case, they would be more careful to avoid incidents like this, but instead, this stuff continues to happen. Why?

Why do we always hear these stories about black men being shot by police over nothing? Why are police always assuming a black man has a gun? Something tells me it’s fear. I’m thinking this type of stuff dates way back in time when white people first encountered black people. I think a lot of white police officers are sorely afraid of black men. I don’t know why. It goes back centuries. Why else have black men been portrayed as threatening and menacing for many years in white media, especially if they’re big in size and height?

Because of this fear, they react in a way they feel that they are protecting themselves and killing the black man before they kill them. These actions are just weird and fear is the only thing that makes sense to me for why these things keep happening.

One thing that I’ve noticed, too, is that usually when we hear these types of stories, dark skinned men are the victims. What is it with white police officers and dark skinned black men? If it’s not fear, what else can it be? I’m really trying to understand.

We can keep making these excuses that we usually make when we hear these stories–the excuses about how it’s “not about race”, “they shouldn’t have ran”, “they should’ve did this or that”, or we can finally open our eyes and see that these stories are ALWAYS about race and something is very wrong with these white police officers.

We’ve heard the stories about many white men shooting up dozens of people in schools and public facilities and still being escorted safely, without even a taze, into custody. But unarmed black men who haven’t committed a single murder get shot dozens of times or get beaten severely or to death when they encounter police. A lot of times, these white people get off and don’t serve any prison time because they’re declared to be “mentally ill” and even have GoFundMe’s set up where they get a lot of money after they were just caught murdering someone.

If an unarmed black man gets killed by police, his past is dug up to try to find dirt on him to justify his murder. A white man can kill nine people in a killing spree and his past is dug up to show he was a “good kid”. He was just “bullied as a child” and had a “horrible childhood”.

If that doesn’t say it’s about race, I don’t know what does.