Nobody Cares About How Colorism Affects Black Men

The topic of colorism is becoming more and more widespread now than it ever has been. I’m extremely proud of that because I really think that needs to be talked about more and the people guilty of perpetrating it needs to be called out and held accountable. Especially since this topic is ignored, deflected against, and swept under the rug A LOT.

Although I’m happy about colorism being talked about more, I did notice one problem with it. When talking about it, most people only talk about how it affects black women. Rarely are there ever any conversations about helping dark skinned men be confident in their skin or protect them from being discriminated against or disrespected for their skin. When dark skinned men are attacked for their skin, there aren’t as many people defending them like they do with dark skinned women who are attacked.

Lots of people point out how dark skinned women are overlooked, undercasted, and poorly represented in Hollywood. Lots of people called out the black men who publicly took swipes at Lupita Nyong’o for her dark skin. Lots of people dragged Kodak Black into outer space for his derogatory comments against dark skinned women. Oprah did an episode about colorism on her Lifeclass show. GREAT episode, by the way. I loved how everyone got to share their experiences with colorism and how they tackled the issue. But there was one problem. WHERE WERE THE BLACK MEN?!? Tons of black women shared their stories with colorism on the episode, but where were the black men to share their stories with colorism? (To add, another thing I wasn’t quite okay with in the episode was how they laughed and joked when they started talking about the Paper Bag Test. There’s NOTHING funny about that! Still to this day, many black people are mistreated, disrespected, discriminated against, and undervalued because their skin color is darker than a paper bag. If we’re going to talk about this stuff, we have to take it seriously! Sugarcoating and making jokes is NOT the way to solve a problem).

I will use some black male celebrities here as an example to prove that nobody really cares about how colorism affects black men.

I believe this happened back in 2009. There was an altercation where Fabolous went at T-Pain because he thought that T-Pain made a tweet saying, ‘Fuck Fabolous’. In response to this, Fabolous sent out a series of tweets:

But thats jus a taste of what u’ll get if u fuck wit me via twitter, Back to my Twitter chillin

Ok so i jus got word that it wasnt Tpain’s twitter page who said Fuck Fabolous..a fake page, w/ 900 followers.. oooops, damn i went in LOL

F.Y.I. This is not a beef.. jus Twitter fun. someone retweeted that Tpain said Fuck Me on twitter & truthfully i dont know if he said or not

#tpainbetter chill cuz i will air this ***** via twitter

#tpainbetter thank me.. he’s #1 TT.. the only place his name gonna b #1 for a lonnnggggggg time!

#tpainbetter apologize & blame it on the al-a-a-al-a-al-cohol

#tpainbetter stop singin in the fan… that aint talent we can all do that

#tpainbetter audition to be a California Raisin.. He’s done!

#uknowhowiknowuregay cuz u do a song wit Lil Wayne & change ur name to T-Wayne…eeeel

#tpainbetter stop playin for JayZ buys every autotune machine in the world & end his career

#tpainbetter stay his ass outta the sun for the rest of his life!!

#tpainbetter give Mr. Monopoly back his top hats!!

#tpainbetter not meet me in Brooklyn

After D.O.A., #tpainbetter not be mad, UPS is hiring!!

Jus heard Tpain says Fuck JayZ & Fuck Fabolous too over Twitter… Ok, now me & my twiggas/Street Twitter Ditta Dam must go in on him!

It was later confirmed that T-Pain didn’t really tweet that and it came from a fake page. As you can see, Fabolous admitted it in one of those tweets in the series. Even after knowing the tweet was fake, he still didn’t stop or even apologize for anything he said.

And even if T-Pain did actually tweet that about him, why does ONE statement generate this type of response? Obviously something else is going on with him here and I believe I know what it is, but I’m not going to get into it here because I feel like it will shift the focus of this post.

In one of the tweets, after realizing it wasn’t really T-Pain who made the tweet, Fabolous said he said all this not to diss, but for “fun”. This is what happens when black men get attacked for their dark skin. It gets classified as “fun” and people dismiss the blatant colorism because of it, thinking, “It’s just a joke”, “We’re just having fun”, etc. And I think this is one of the main reasons why no one speaks out against colorism against black men. But people, colorism is NOT funny!

And speaking of funny, I don’t even think anyone defended T-Pain against Fabolous for saying any of this. They just thought it was funny. Were T-Pain a dark skinned female celebrity Fabolous was saying all of this to, black Twitter would’ve definitely DISMEMBERED him and nobody would’ve cared that he said all that just for “Twitter fun”. As a matter of fact, I think him saying it was just “Twitter fun” would’ve made black Twitter angrier if T-Pain were a woman! Especially in this day and age when black women are being defended more against colorism than ever before.

Even though he doesn’t talk about it much, like most black men when it comes to colorism, T-Pain talked about how record labels rejected him because he wanted to be an R&B singer. They believed he would be better off going into rap. I believe they did this because he was a dark skinned man with dreadlocks. They thought he would be better being a thugged out rapper. Most dark skinned rappers had thuggish or threatening images. Think the likes of 50 Cent. I just don’t know why Hollywood is so bent on portraying our dark skinned men this way. He was obviously being discriminated against because of his looks, colorism, and racism. People don’t want to look at it this way, but it’s so obvious.

Akon is another black male celebrity that gets attacked for his dark skin quite a bit. I’ve heard lots of rappers say, “My car black like Akon” in their songs. If I hear another rapper make that stupid line in their raps, I’m going to lose it! On his Behind The Music episode, Akon mentioned how he would get into a lot of fights in school because he was picked on a lot. And I’m sure he was picked on because he was dark skinned and African. We know how a lot of black people believe all of America’s negative, racist portrayals of Africa in its media and respond accordingly. Even his mother who featured on the episode said that kids used to call him names, like “African Booty Scratcher”. We ALL know that’s a word black people use to attack someone who’s dark skinned. (Don’t try to deny it! Nobody has ever called a light skinned or mixed person that!)

And Akon has a brother named Bu who gets attacked for his dark skin as well. Look up his interviews on YouTube and read the comments. I’m happy that there were some people defending him, but the amount of colorist remarks in the comment sections on his videos are still just downright disgusting! With some of the comments I’ve seen, you would think that there were a bunch of racist white people trolling his page, but I know for a fact that most of those comments were from other black people.

A while back, there was one comment I saw on one of the videos that complimented his skin and said it was beautiful and lots of people responded to it negatively. What was the negativity about? Because someone thought a man’s dark skin was beautiful when they considered it ugly and it made them feel some type of way? No one would’ve responded to that comment negatively if he were a woman. They would agree and call her a melanin goddess and say things like, “Black don’t crack”.

If you can remember and think back, Bernie Mac was the brunt of quite a few jokes about his skin color in movies and TV shows.

I’ve heard people make remarks about Wesley Snipes’ dark skin as well.

And we all know Biggie’s line where he said in one of his songs that he’s “BLACK and ugly as ever”.

Tommy Sotomayor talked in many videos about how he was teased for his dark skin growing up, even by his own mother (That’s a HUGE thing to talk about as well when talking about colorism. A lot of this nonsense starts AT HOME, where dark skinned people’s OWN PARENTS and FAMILY MEMBERS make negative comments about their dark skin). He mentioned in one video that the first woman to compliment him for his skin in his life was a white woman (That’s a shame. As much as us black people complain about white people being racist, I shouldn’t be hearing any stories like this, but here we are).

Now, think about this. Have you noticed the amount of dark skinned male celebrities who have stage names where they’re calling themselves black? For example: Kodak BLACK, BLAC Youngsta (his is spelled without a ‘k’), CRISPY BLACK (This is an actual rapper’s name! Look it up! It surprised me too!), Michael BLACKson. And let’s not forget that almost every black person knows that one dark skinned man in their neighborhoods nicknamed “Black” or “Smoke”.

Is there a coincidence that all these black men are dark skinned and calling themselves “black”? How many light skinned or mixed men refer to themselves as “black” as a nickname or stage name?

And since I mentioned Michael Blackson, his whole gimmick in comedy is surrounded by making jokes about his dark skin and being from Africa. On his social media, he “jokes” with people who go back and forth making jokes about his dark skin and being African. I believe comedy is his way of dealing with his pain of experiencing colorism and being attacked for his dark skin and being African all his life.

I see this pattern with many dark skinned men. I believe they were attacked and discriminated against for their dark skin for so long, they began to make fun of and attack themselves. I believe this is their way of dealing with their pain. This is why we see so many dark skinned men nicknaming themselves “Black”. This is why we see dark skinned men make so many dark skinned jokes about themselves and other dark skinned people. This is internalized racism.

When the topic of colorism comes up, especially when it’s time to talk about black men, I hear a lot of people say, “It’s not about colorism”, “It’s not that deep”, “It’s just jokes”, etc. All of these sayings are FALSE. They are all excuses. All deflecting. All gaslighting. All lies. All lame.

Another thing I’m tired of is when someone does point out how America is more discriminating and unfair, particularly within the justice system and with police, moreso with dark skinned men than anyone else, someone always has to respond with, “They treat light skinned men like that, too, because we’re all black”. This is another blatant lie to minimize colorism against dark skinned men, especially in the justice system. Dark skinned men are more likely to get harsher prison sentences for a given crime than anyone else. Dark skinned men are more likely to be killed by police than a light skinned or mixed man. Look at the news! All or most of the unarmed black men that Black Lives Matter is fighting for justice for that police have killed are dark skinned. We all know this. Why are we so dismissive and acting so blind?!?? I just don’t get it!

I believe people try to minimize colorism against dark skinned men because they want to uphold the belief that dark skinned women have it worst. And that’s just NOT true. All dark skinned black people, whether they’re a man or woman, experience colorism. People just don’t see it because men handle it differently and society handles it differently.

We really need to start including black men in discussions about colorism and allow them to share their stories and experiences with it. And black men also need to not be afraid to express these feelings and stories because I do think a lot of black men are afraid to talk about how colorism affects them. Maybe they feel it will make them look weak. Maybe they feel the topic hits too close to home.

I dont even know how or why colorism came about to only focus on black women. Maybe it’s a tactic used to turn black men and women against each other? Maybe it’s because black women want all the attention to be on themselves? I just don’t know.

We will only be able to heal if we talk about these things instead of denying it or sweeping it under the rug. Think about any other problem in life. You can never fix it unless you acknowledge and identify it first. Ignoring, making excuses, denying, and lying to yourself about the problem doesn’t make it go away or make it not exist. It makes it worst.

This colorism that dark skinned men experience is probably a huge reason why many of them overlook or find dark skinned women unattractive and prefer light skinned or nonblack women. As much as black women complain about black men overlooking them, especially if they’re dark skinned, many dark skinned black men have been overlooked, rejected, and put down by black women as well because of their dark skin; they just don’t speak out about it much.

I believe that dark skinned men who overlook and talk down about dark skinned women actually hate that the woman reminds them of how much they hate their own skin tone. Also, I think they may seek out light skinned or nonblack women because they don’t want their children to experience what they experienced in their lives due to dark skin. If they date or marry a light skinned or nonblack woman, chances are their children will come out light skinned.

I really hope we can start including black men in our conversations about colorism very, very soon because these stories I highlighted in this post as well as many others I’ve heard and witnessed throughout my life really break my heart. I’m saddened. I’m hurt. I’m disgusted. We really need to resolve all the colorism issues between all black people. It’s not normal at all for our people to have these types of stories and nothing gets done about it. Or we pretend that it’s not that serious and it’s all in their heads.

Advertisements

Solange-Tina Taught Me

I love this interlude, “Tina Taught Me”, from Solange’s album, A Seat At The Table. The instrumental to “Don’t Touch My Hair” playing in the background makes it even better. Solange’s mother, Tina Knowles, spoke a message I couldn’t agree with more if I wanted to. A message full of being proud of being black. She also talks about how here in America, black people are not allowed to express pride in being black and if we do, it is taken as us being anti-white. The truth is white people are anti-black. They hate our culture. They don’t want us to love our culture and try to push their culture on us. They’ve done this for centuries. This is why our original culture(s), language(s), etc., were stripped away from us and replaced with theirs. I believe this is why when we express pride in loving ourselves and our culture, they take it as us not liking their culture. They take us expressing love and pride in ourselves as rejecting their culture that they’re forcing on us.

It’s Not Because You’re Dark Skinned. It’s Your Attitude

When the topic of colorism is brought up, many people have knee jerk reactions to deny that discrimination and disrespect due to being dark skinned is the case. This statement, “It’s not because you’re dark skinned; it’s your attitude”, is one of them. I usually hear people saying it to dark skinned women when they talk about colorism.

I see this, as well as many other knee jerk reactions against colorism accusations, as nothing more than excuses. People don’t want to admit to hating dark skin, so they have all kinds of excuses to cover it up. I’ve seen dark skinned people do nothing, but mind their own business and people still treat them rudely. People still call them names that insult their dark skin. So, it’s not just about attitude.

And if dark skin wasn’t an issue and it was just about attitude, why are there people who tell dark skinned women they’re pretty “to be dark”. Why can’t they just be pretty? To tell someone they’re attractive “to be dark” means you think dark skin usually isn’t attractive to you and now you’re shocked because you see an attractive person that’s dark skinned. And let’s not say people say that because of “preference” because no one has ever told a light skinned or mixed woman that they were pretty “to be light”. I’ve heard people say it the other way around, though: “If you’re ugly and you’re light skinned, I feel sorry for you”, “Being light skinned doesn’t automatically make you pretty”, etc. So, with these statements alone, obviously people feel some kind of way about dark skin. And these statements say a lot about how people view dark skin and light skin. What is it saying if people feel like they have to constantly remind everyone that light skin doesn’t automatically make someone pretty or dark skin doesn’t automatically make someone ugly?

Another thing that makes me believe this statement is a load of crap is a lot of times black men this say to dark skinned women, but not much later, you will hear black men talking about how sexy a Latina or other nonblack woman is when they have attitudes. If attitudes are unattractive, why are they only unattractive on dark skinned black women? Why is it attractive on nonblack women?

There is this one video I remember Tommy Sotomayor doing on dark skinned women and their attitudes. I don’t remember the name of it, but I do remember him saying something like overweight dark skinned women who have horrible attitudes should say to themselves, “I already have two strikes against me.” And I’m guessing he meant they should be nicer, but instead, their attitudes are even worst. First of all, what did he mean by this woman already having “two strikes” against her? While he was trying to make it seem like it was just her attitude in this video, he didn’t realize that he just exposed how people will automatically treat her differently, or I should say NEGATIVELY, because of these “two strikes”, which is her being overweight and her being dark skinned. And because she’s overweight and dark skinned, she has to be “nicer” to get people to like her and treat her right.

There was another video I saw from another YouTuber who said that it’s the attitudes of dark skinned women that make men want to get with light skinned women over them. He said that dark skinned women always complaining about how they are over looked for light skinned women is what makes them unattractive and that light skinned women are more attractive because they’re usually “more confident” than dark skinned women.

I feel like what they gloss over is how society usually treats light skinned women a lot better than they treat dark skinned women. Of course they will have more confidence! If society treated light skinned women like they treat dark skinned women, they would act the exact same way.

I don’t know why so many people in our society try to deny such obvious things when it comes to dark skin, but it really has to stop.

This is the thing people always love tiptoeing around when this topic is brought up. This society treats dark skinned people, especially women, like TRASH, especially if they’re overweight! Yet, people still want these people to just roll over and take it with a smile and say nothing about it.

STOP DENYING COLORISM! STOP IGNORING COLORISM! OPEN YOUR EYES AND START BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELVES!

Everything Matters Except Black Lives

When we said “Black Lives Matter” because we thought black people were being treated unfairly by law enforcement, what happened? People cried, protested, called us racists and “divisive”, and responded with other movements playing off of it. People came up with All Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, and even White Lives Matter.

Somehow so many people found it so offensive because we said Black Lives Matter. But people made all these adverse movements against ours and no one is protesting theirs. What is this telling us?

Even the silly ones, like “Little Booties Matter”, should raise some concern and not be treated as funny. There’s a reason they’re allowing so many people to say that their things matter, but when we said that we matter, everyone freaks out. Something isn’t right.

Why does us saying Black Lives Matter make so many people so uncomfortable? So uncomfortable to where they feel the need replace to word “black” with anything and it’s okay?

Why Don’t Black People Shop Black Owned?

There’s many theories about why more black people don’t support black owned businesses. You would think that more black people would shop where their people own the stores and create the products/services, but unfortunately, many do not. Why is this?

I have two main reasons for why I believe this is. The first reason is price. I know how important it is for black people to support their own businesses, so I went searching for some black owned businesses online to shop one day. I have to admit many of the prices at black owned businesses are ridiculous, I’m sorry to say. When other people point out how high the pricing is at a lot of black owned businesses, people love using stereotypical deflecting and shaming tactics, like “You people complain about these prices, but love buying iPhones and Jordans” or “Black people need to stop being so cheap!”, instead of acknowledging and admitting that the prices are a problem and we need to get together and find a solution for it.

If we don’t admit that the prices are a problem, nothing is going to get done about it. The first step in solving a problem is acknowledging and admitting that there is one.

I know the businesses in this society are built on a supply and demand basis, so I know a lot of black business prices are high not because they want them to be, but because the demand for their products and services aren’t as high as it is at other places, being that it is a smaller business. So, since the demand is lower, the prices are higher. The only way we can fix this is if more of us start supporting them, but I know it’s hard for many people to shop at a store where the prices are out of reach to them.

People want to complain about how black people would rather shop at the Walmarts and Targets of the world than black owned businesses, but what they always conveniently fail to tell you is that at Walmart and Target, you can pretty much get anything you want at a good price there. Unfortunately, we can’t do that with many black businesses. People go where they can stretch their dollars and get the most things for their budget. And that isn’t just a black thing. ALL races of people do that.

The next reason I have is location or availability. In many neighborhoods across America, black businesses are few and far in between. Many people have to go a little (or a lot) out of their way to get to a black business. Sadly enough, other races of people have more businesses in our neighborhoods than we do. So, people go to the businesses that are closest to them, where they don’t have to walk or drive too far out of their way. And again, that isn’t just a black thing. All kinds of people shop at places that are near them.

In my opinion, a lot of black businesses are unfortunately inconvenient to many black people. In order for more black people to support other black businesses, I think we have to have our businesses give the convenience (if not MORE convenience) that other businesses give.

I don’t believe black people shop at every other store because they don’t want to support their own people, like I’ve heard some people say. I believe they shop at every other store because every other store is more convenient for them.

Many of us love repeating that statistic about how long a dollar circulates and changes hands in other communities compared to ours, but we always tiptoe around why that is.

I think on this subject we do way too much dancing around the pink elephant in the room. And that pink elephant is that we are VERY FAR behind other races when it comes to business. One of the things that surely proves that we’re behind other races is that other races of people don’t have to pull shaming tactics to get people to shop at their stores. We don’t hear the owners of Walmart and Target saying, “If you can buy XY and Z, you can shop at our stores”. But we feel the need to say it.

The only way we’re going to catch up is if more of us start realizing how important it is that we need businesses and need to create and control our own resources.

There’s no reason for every other race of people to have more businesses in our neighborhoods than we do, especially since it’s not like that in their neighborhoods. We don’t own a bunch of businesses in their neighborhoods. They own their own. It’s been way past due for us to do the same.

There’s a video I stumbled across by a YouTuber named Chrissie, who has a video speaking about why black people don’t shop at black owned businesses, which I have included in this post, and she said pretty much the same thing I’m saying now, but one interesting thing she said that I didn’t think about is that a lot of times, we resent products and services that are made specifically for us.

We hate when other races of people don’t include us in their ads or whatever, but when it’s something created just for us, we hate that it doesn’t include others. We think it’s racist. We’re so stuck on inclusivity, including everybody else into whatever we have, that a lot of us are not ready to accept a business that caters strictly to us.

That’s one thing we have to get out of as well. I don’t think we fully understand that people are supposed to cater to their own people. When they make a product or service, they’re usually not making it to cater to other people, even though they don’t discriminate against who can buy the product. That’s what we need to start realizing. We need to start realizing that nobody is supposed to build and cater to us BUT US!

I Don’t Like Being Awake Pt. 2

I love this song by Katy Perry, “Chained To The Rhythm”. I think it explains what’s going on in our society today very vividly. But, I kind of hate it because the song is a very important message and there are people still thinking this song is about fun and paryting and shaming others who are telling them what the song is irrefutably about.

I think people just don’t want to accept the message. There’s no way the message of this song can get miscontrued. You have to just not be listening at all in order to miss the point of this song. It’s straightforward through and through and there are no riddles and metaphors like a lot of other things out here that try to tell people the truth, but tell it in a way that you have to think about it for a while to figure it out.

But anyway, I shared the video because I felt like the video described my feelings about being awake perfectly.

In the beginning of the video, when Katy Perry first walked into the amusement park (fittingly) called “Oblivia”, she’s very happy. That’s what it feels like when you’re living in “Oblivion”. It’s a lot of fun and she’s enjoying everything. So is everyone else. Nothing seems wrong. She doesn’t see any of the chaos that’s going on around her.

Later, she goes into the movie theater. For some reason, she takes off her 3D glasses. She sees Skip Marley walking up to her from out of the screen. She reaches out to him and smiles. I interpret this as him telling her what’s really going on. Once that happens, she suddenly “wakes up”.

Then, she turns around, looking as if she’s frantically trying to tell everyone what’s really going on and everything she just learned and realized, but nobody’s listening and they continue to dance around like nothing’s going on. This is what I feel like when myself, and many others, try to tell the truth and people either don’t listen or deny it.

Afterwards, she gets inside the wheel. She moves for a moment, then stops. Looking as if she’s defeated. This looks like she finally sees what is happening, but probably feels she can’t do much about it to change it. That also kind of looks like she wants to enjoy “Oblivia” again, but can’t because she knows what it really is now. She now knows it’s not real. It’s all FAKE. It’s all a LIE.

Then, there’s the end. Where the camera zooms in on her face and it looks like she has a sad, shocked look in her eyes. Like I said, once you wake up from “Oblivion” and see everything that’s going on, you can never go back. You will feel disturbed and disgusted. Nothing will ever feel the same again.