What Is A Mistake?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary website, a mistake is 1) a wrong judgement or misunderstanding; 2) a wrong action or statement proceeding faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge, or inattention. In my own words, a mistake is a wrong thing someone does or says, but wasn’t intending to. For example, you writing too quickly and you accidentally misspell something because of it and you have to erase. Or grabbing something out the fridge and it slips out of your hands and breaks. You didn’t throw it on the floor on purpose. It just slipped out of your hand.

Many people call things “mistakes” that aren’t mistakes. They’re CHOICES. But because they regret it later, they want to soften what they did, so instead of admitting they made a poor choice, they’ll say they “made a mistake”.

“I made a mistake and cheated on my spouse.”

“I made a mistake and said something I shouldn’t have said out of anger.”

“I made a mistake and wore blackface and called someone a racial slur.”

“I made a mistake and raped someone.”

“I made a mistake and abused someone.”

“I made a mistake and bullied someone.”

So many people say things like this and claim they are mistakes. These aren’t mistakes because all people know right from wrong. We were taught since we were babies right from wrong. It’s up to us to CHOOSE right or wrong. A lot of people CHOOSE to do WRONG things, then don’t want to own up to their choice.

You knew you were in a relationship/married when you slept with someone that wasn’t your partner. It’s not like you didn’t know you were already with someone. You knew doing that was wrong, which is why you did it behind your partner’s back and lied about it. You knew sleeping with someone that wasn’t your partner would hurt them…but you did it anyway. Now that you got caught and you see the hurt on your partner’s face, you want to say it was “a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

Everyone knows wearing blackface is racist. Everyone knows what racial slurs are. You went online and did it anyway. And now that you’re getting dragged for it (like you should), you want to claim you “made a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

When you picked on that kid in school for whatever reason, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew the kid would be and was hurt by it. But you did it anyway. And kept doing it. You didn’t “make a mistake” and become a bully. You made A CHOICE!

When you had sex without a condom or birth control, you knew beforehand that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. You don’t sleep around unprotected, then say “I made a mistake and now I’m pregnant” or “I made a mistake and got somebody pregnant”. You made A CHOICE!

Instead of saying, “We’re all human and we all make mistakes”, I want us to start saying, “We’re all human and we all make CHOICES”. We have to start being more honest with ourselves and admitting that we CHOOSE to do bad things sometimes.

A lot of people like using “free will” as excuse to absolve themselves from accountability for bad choices as well. Yes we have free will to choose what we want to do, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to what we do or that what we do won’t hurt someone else.

I believe that if more of us admitted to making bad choices instead of calling our bad choices “mistakes”, we will think twice about doing certain things. If we keep calling our bad choices “mistakes”, a lot of us won’t try to do better because in our heads, we’re not doing anything wrong. We’re just “making mistakes”.

NO! Women DON’T Get Passes For Cheating!

“Women should get a pass for cheating.”

I hear this very often whenever a woman is caught cheating. Lots of people, mostly women, would defend the cheating and say women should get passes for it. They usually say this because they claim that men “cheat more than women” or they “do worst things to women”, so it shouldn’t matter if women cheat on them.

Not only is this B.S., it’s also just a way for women to save face when they get caught cheating. Justifying it by throwing men under the bus. Making men look like the bad guys when they’re the ones doing wrong.

Everyone knows cheating is wrong. And everyone knows men get dragged into oblivion when it’s found out that he cheated on a woman. They are identified as dogs, punks, bitches, whatever negative name you can think of.

But women don’t want to deal with that type of backlash when they get caught cheating. They hate when men call them bitches and whores when they get caught cheating, despite how many names they call men for cheating. They want to always look like the good, loyal ones in relationships. If they’re caught cheating, they won’t be able to look like that. So, they come up with stuff like this in order to keep it.

Also, this would make it easier for women to cheat. If everyone thinks men are the worst cheaters, so much to the point where they think women should get a pass when they’re caught, no one would suspect them for cheating.

What bothers me most about this is that sometimes, when the conversation about women cheating is brought up, some people, usually women, like to say that women are “smarter” cheaters than men because they are better at “covering it up”. I remember a conversation way back when I was in middle school where the class was talking about how Shaq’s wife was “smart” for cheating on him with a personal trainer because of the money she would get out of it.

No one ever calls a man smart for cheating on a woman! If a man cheated on a woman to get money out of her or cheated on her for a long time without her finding out, the last thing he will be called is smart!

I feel like that’s just another way for women to soften up their cheating.

I believe this is why I hear so many women defending and encouraging revenge cheating as well. Because even though it’s a waste of time and makes absolutely no sense, it gives women the excuse to cheat while still looking like the innocent ones. They wait for their partner/spouse to cheat first, then they go do it. If she’s cheating because her partner/spouse is cheating on her, she gets a pass! Everyone will sympathize with her.

Cheating is cheating, whether it’s done by a man or woman. NO ONE should get a pass for it. It doesn’t matter if other people are cheating on their partners or if one of their partners cheat on them. There’s NEVER an excuse for cheating! When women cheat, they are the same lying, cheating, unappreciative, backstabbing person they claim men are when men cheat.

This hypocrisy has to stop!

Revenge Cheating Is A Waste Of Time

Photo: Flickr

Many people, especially women, think that the best way to deal with someone cheating on them is to cheat on them back. But I feel that not only is that stupid, it’s a serious waste of your time. I know cheating hurts, especially if it’s from someone you truly loved and cared about and never did anything wrong to them, but the best way to deal with that is to either forgive them (if you want to take them back and continue the relationship and try to fix it) or leave and find someone that will be faithful to you and give you the love you deserve.

“Revenge cheating” is stupid and a waste of time because if you do take this person back that cheated on you just to cheat on them, you shouldn’t have taken them back. When you take someone back after doing you wrong, it’s supposed to mean that you forgive them and want to give them another chance. Taking someone back to “revenge cheat” on them won’t solve anything. It’ll just create an endless cycle of cheating because you’ll be cheating on them and they’ll be cheating on you. And seriously, what’s the point in staying in a relationship that’s like that in the first place? That relationship is already dead and clearly neither one of you are trying to get together and fix it. Why are you still there?

And if you can find someone to go cheat on someone with for “revenge”, you’re clearly with someone who also doesn’t really care about you because if they did, you would actually be in a relationship with them or leave the cheater for that person, not just be with them for sex.

And if you go into a new relationship and cheat on that person when they did nothing to you just because the other person cheated on you is even dumber. In your head, you think you’re hurting the person who cheated on you and hurt you by doing that, but in reality, you are only hurting yourself and you’re trying to rid yourself of that hurt by sleeping with other people and all you’re doing is ruining a relationship that was just fine.

I saw an episode of Steve Wilkos years ago where there was a couple on there and the woman said something along the lines of, “I’m the type that if you cheat on me, I will cheat on you a lot.” And the woman went on to tell the story about how her man cheated on her and because of that, she went and slept with numerous men. They continued to stay together, but all they were doing was cheating on each other the whole time. Like, really, how does this make ANY type of sense?!

That segment is what made me think of this post because, sadly, people really think this is a justifiable way of dealing with cheating and relationship problems when all it’s doing is making things worst!

There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating. NONE AT ALL! This is why when people try to explain it and soften it up, it never makes sense. Cheating is wrong, whether it’s for revenge or simply just you not being able to control your urges and function properly for a relationship. If your relationship is at the point where you feel like cheating is the answer, you need to end that relationship and FAST!