Are We A Delusional Society?

(Photo: Flickr)

I think about posts that I have previously written on this blog about people denying obvious things like colorism, laughing at things we really shouldn’t be, holding up lies about our hair, our views on white people, arguing about whether mixed and other nonblack people are black, and missing things that have never actually gone away. It really makes me wonder are we living in a delusional society? Do we do these things because we’re delusional?

Every time someone talks about sexism and misogyny, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about racism, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about colorism, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about how corrupted the government is, people get mad and deny it.

Every time someone talks about how the things we see on television and hear on the radio influence our thoughts and behaviors, people get mad and deny it.

I can go on and on about how much crazy things go on in this society and how much people cry about and deny it when someone sheds a light on it.

I believe we do all this denying because this society is delusional. I think we love telling ourselves that America is such this great, noble, perfect country–a utopia–that’s greater and better than all other countries so much that when something comes up that completely proves that this isn’t true, many of us get upset.

But people, America is the furthest thing from the greatest, perfect country. There’s so many things we need to work on and get rid of before we can even begin thinking that our country and society is great and perfect.

We love holding up this idea that America is all sunshine and rainbows where everyone lives happily and equally and it’s just FALSE!

ICE is separating people from their families. Black people are still getting discriminated against and facing racism in many places, especially in Hollywood. They are just now passing laws in some states to protect black women against being discriminated against in workplaces for wearing their natural hair.

There’s a news story recently about three white students cutting a black student’s dreadlocks because they said it was “ugly”. We hear about all these mass shootings at schools and other pubic places. Women are getting raped and sexually harassed all over this country and many of these cases don’t get solved and many people like blaming the woman for being raped and sexually harassed. Unarmed black men are getting killed by police. Many LGBTQ people are being bullied, harassed, discriminated against, and killed for their sexualites.

We need to wake up and stop being so delusional about this. If we don’t, all these things are going to keep going on while we continue to lie to ourselves about it. History, as well as the present, has shown us what this country and society is all about, yet for some strange reason, we continue to think otherwise. It’s up to us to accept it and change it accordingly.

I often wonder if this mass delusion comes from a centuries long battle with abuse and oppression. I believe many people are afraid to stand up to the adversity in this country, so we convince ourselves that everything is fine or everything “isn’t that bad” so we won’t feel like we have to do anything about it. I also believe that this stuff has gone on for so long that we have convinced ourselves that everything that’s going on today is okay and normal. It’s the FURTHEST from it!

For All White People Have Done

I think about the stories I’ve heard black people telling for years of how white people negatively stereotype them.

I think about the stories of how white people lock their doors when they see a black person walking by or how they clutch at their purses.

We see on the news how they stay killing unarmed black men because they “feared for their lives”.

We see on television how they usually portray us as violent and ignorant.

I take all of this into consideration and think, HOW DARE THEY GET TO TREAT US THAT WAY????

After all they’ve done to us for centuries, if anything, WE should be treating THEM like that!

They came over here and stole and stripped away every single solitary thing we had. They take credit for and profit off our inventions and culture. Yet, have the nerve and audacity to portray us as thieves on their teLIEvision.

They have invaded and killed millions of people in countries across this whole world throughout history to get everything they have. Yet, have the nerve and audacity to portray us as the “most violent race” on their teLIEvision.

They came over here telling us we were inferior to them and everything about us–our skin tones, features and hair–was ugly. Yet, when we call them out for the things they do, they have the nerve and audacity to call us “divisive”. They have infiltrated numerous races of people that wasn’t them and made them hate themselves and feel inferior to them. No one on this planet is more divisive than white people.

And when we call them out for what they do or complain about how they treat us, they have the nerve and audacity to tell us to “Go back to Africa” like they didn’t come over here invading from Europe.

The truth is white people are ashamed to be white. They are ashamed of their history and what they are caught doing to many people across the world, especially to black people. They try to push who they are on the people they oppress to keep their image clean and keep the rest of the world from seeing who they are and treating them accordingly.

For all white people have done to us, we should be treating THEM how they treat US. We should be negatively judging THEM and killing THEM because we feel threatened…

BUT WE DON’T!

We do nothing but continue to beg them to stop killing us, include us in things, and treat us like human beings, and they STILL continue to disrespect us.

That should tell us everything about US and everything we need to know about THEM.

And you know what else? I think they know that this is true. That’s why they are always doing things to us. They fear we can snap at any moment and it will be justified. That’s why they’re always “fearing for their lives”.

Discrimination Against Black Hair Types & Lengths

(Philosophy di Lorenzo Serafini – Backstage – Milan Fashion Week/Matteo Valle/Getty Images)

This was brought to my attention by a fellow reader. I’ve noticed this myself in the natural hair community. When the natural hair community first began to gain popularity on YouTube, I was happy because I thought real black hair was finally getting accepted…until I noticed this.

A lot of black women who first start going natural wear weaves at first because they refer to their short natural hair as the “ugly phase”. They will wear weaves until their hair grows to a certain length (Some women say that they do this to get their hair to grow longer easier, but I explained in this post why I believe that is an outright lie and excuse). A lot of people only like natural black hair when it’s a certain length. I feel like some people took the black women with long natural hair the wrong way (probably purposely) in the natural hair community online.

There aren’t as many popular natural hair YouTube channels where the women have short hair. I don’t think people compliment women with short natural hair as much as they compliment women with long natural hair. When I first cut my hair and went natural and it was really short, I didn’t get many compliments for it. I didn’t start getting a lot of compliments until after I grew some length to it.

The women with long natural hair on YouTube was supposed to show that black women’s hair can grow long and how to get it to grow long. For a long time, there was a myth going around the black community that only mixed or nonblack women’s hair could grow long. It wasn’t to send the message that only long natural hair is beautiful.

I noticed the natural hair length discrimination, but what I didn’t notice, which was brought to my attention by this fellow reader I mentioned at the beginning of this post, was texturism. Only a certain type of texture of natural hair is more acceptable in the black community than other textures. To make things more clear, looser textured natural hair or the texture mixed women have when they wear afros are sometimes more acceptable than women who have kinkier textured hair.

I searched natural hair on YouTube and women with looser textured hair popped up first, their videos took up most of the page and, for the most part, had more views than women with kinkier textured hair. The same thing happened when I searched it on Google.

(Photo: Flickr)

We have to learn to accept our hair AT ALL lengths and textures! Cut out the discrimination and “picky-choosiness” between hair textures and lengths! We have to learn how to accept our all of real hair textures and lengths just like we accept straight or loosely curly hair in every length and texture.

Like I believe I’ve said in a different post about natural hair and what you might see me saying a lot more in the future, we won’t accept our hair as our own unless we accept it at all textures and lengths. We will always come up with some excuse to cover it up and be insecure about it if we don’t. We shouldn’t be ashamed and insecure about our own real hair that grows out of our scalps!

Shaving: Is It Necessary?

(Photo: Flickr)
Shaving is made to be a really big deal in our society, especially amongst women. This post will be focused on women shaving. Is it as necessary as it is made out to be?

I remember first having the idea of shaving my arms and legs probably when I was about twelve or thirteen years old. I felt so ashamed and disgusted of my body hair. All throughout my teenage years, I saw so many girls with smooth legs and arms and would feel bad because I felt like I was the only girl that haven’t shaved. Of course, I saw the many commercials on television about shaving products that showed women with perfectly smooth legs. I’ve always wanted my legs to look like that. I never wore shorts, skirts, or short sleeved shirts because I was so ashamed of my body hair.

I would ask my mom if she would buy me some razors or if it’s okay for me to shave. She would always tell me, “No. They’re just trying to sell that stuff. You don’t need to shave.” My mom never believed in shaving. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her shave in my life.

Of course, I didn’t believe her whenever she told me that. It was really disappointing when she never got me any razors or let me shave. I thought I had TOO MUCH hair. There is a such thing as TOO MUCH hair, right?

But, one day, I found a disposable razor in the house. It was probably from one of my brothers. My mom was gone to work. I was so happy! I took that razor and shaved my arms and legs. Sure, I had a few cuts because I didn’t have any shaving cream and it was my first time shaving, but it was worth it. I was hairless. I had no more unwanted hair! I’ve been shaving my body since that day.

But as I got older, I realized that my hair would grow back very fast. It seemed like it grew back as soon as I cut it. And, on top of that, my legs are pretty big and since I have a little height on me, they’re quite long, too. And that’s just my legs alone. That’s not even counting the other places I shave. So, shaving my body would take a really long time to do.

I started to feel like taking all this time shaving just wasn’t worth it if it’s going to grow back so fast. But I just knew I still wanted a smooth, hairless body like the women I saw on TV. So, I continued to shave, despite how long it took and how fast it grew back.

A few years ago, I talked to one of my dad’s friends about wanting to shave my legs. She told me, “You don’t need to shave. Your legs are beautiful the way they are. Besides, razors cut you up.” She basically said the same thing my mom said.

This story leads me to today. I recently did some research on women shaving. I wanted to know where it came from and why it is such a big deal in our society. During my research, I found that shaving wasn’t really a big deal here before the 20th century because women used to wear big dresses that pretty much covered their whole bodies, so people didn’t see women’s body hair very much. But after the 20th century, shorter dresses and skirts were invented. That’s when a lot of shaving companies began to promote smooth bodies and advertise shaving to women. More revealing swimsuits began to be invented as well. At that point, shaving companies began to target women for underarm hair.

So, my mother was right all along. They push all these ads because they ARE trying to sell this stuff! They want women to feel some type of way about their body hair so they can spend billions of dollars on shavers, razors, waxes, depilatories, shaving creams, and many other hair removal products. But something tells me it’s far deeper than advertisers wanting to make money off of making women feel some type of way about their bodies.

Why did they feel the need to target women on their body hair in the first place? Men can have just as much body hair as they want and they’re never made to feel ashamed of it. Of course, shaving companies market to them, too, but it’s like they can choose whether or not to shave and still be accepted by society. Women can’t. Women just either have to shave or be deemed as unattractive.

I never really found a good answer to this question of why women seem to be targeted more for their body hair than men, but it sounds like it comes from sexism and misogyny. I think it’s part of trying to make women feel ashamed of themselves and unequal to men.

Shaving is not necessary. Body hair doesn’t hurt anyone. We have just been conditioned to be disgusted by hair that grows on/in certain places, especially on women. People should not be pressured into shaving, no matter how much body hair they have or where it is. Body hair is completely natural. There’s a reason why it grows back so fast after shaving it. It belongs there!

We should all be free to accept our natural bodies as they are. As a matter of fact, I feel like most women wouldn’t shave at all if they weren’t made to feel ashamed of their body hair—much like men. Women shave because they’ve been told for many years that their body hair is unattractive.