Why Are People Afraid To Have Daughters?

Photo: (Wikimedia Commons)

I’ve been hearing people say for years that they pray that they never have daughters because they’re afraid she will grow up to sleep with a lot of boys and dress in revealing clothing. As a matter of fact, I remember a particular conversation some girls were having when I was in middle school, where one of them said they didn’t want a daughter because they would be trying to sneak out of the house with boys and things of that nature, and other girls agreed with her.

This made me ponder, ‘Why are people so afraid of having daughters that they think about them being sexually active or what type of clothes they will be wearing before they’re even born, but no one’s ever afraid of having sons that grow up to beat, rape, and/or sexually harass women? I’ve never heard anybody say, “I never want a son because boys grow up to abuse women”.

So many people swear that their daughters will grow up to be a “whore” and live in constant fear of that with every passing year their daughters grow up, but nobody ever believes that their sons will grow up to be abusers, despite the fact that the number of women getting abused by men continues to remain high every year. I know a lot of people will say, “I raised my sons better than that.” Okay. You trust you raised your son better than to be an abuser, but you don’t trust your daughter’s sexuality?

Also, I believe it’s more likely that a boy will grow up to be an abuser or rapist than a girl will grow up to be the sexually active person so many people fear they will. I hate to say that, but hearing all these stories about women getting abused and raped by men makes me believe that.

Why are people more afraid of their daughters being sexually active and wearing revealing clothing than they are of their sons growing up to be abusers? Why does a girl’s sexuality have so many people in fear of having daughters, but men abusing women doesn’t make anyone afraid to have sons?

On the flip side, I’ve heard people say that they didn’t want to have daughters because of how many abusers there are in the world and they don’t want their daughters to go through that. Again, why does men abusing women make so many people afraid to have daughters, but it doesn’t make them afraid to have sons?

I believe this is deep rooted misogyny and sexism. And I believe when some people say they don’t want to have daughters because they’re “afraid they’re going to get abused”, they say that to make it seem like their fear of having a daughter is a good thing and isn’t deep rooted in misogyny.

The real reason you don’t want to have a daughter is because you hate girls and women. You’ve been brainwashed to believe girls are more difficult to raise than boys. The truth is people just care more about their girls because this society is built on controlling women, especially sexually. So much so, that they try to do it long before they’re even born. So many people out there don’t care about what their sons do. Their sons do whatever they want while they’re putting a microscope on their daughters.

And I’ve heard both men and women say they pray that they never have daughters because of both of these reasons, so I don’t want men and women coming under this post to point fingers at each other about who says it or doesn’t. I’ve heard a lot of women in my life repeat internalized sexist ideas.

So many people are so eager to control the sexualities of their young girls so much, but they never talk about how they’re going to control their sons from abusing girls and women as they grow up.

How are any of you more afraid of how your daughters’ sexualities might be than you are of your sons being abusers? How are your daughters’ sexualities more of a threat to you than your sons being abusers, harassers, and rapists? You’re more afraid of female sexuality than you are of violence. I will never understand that.

Why Are Women Shamed For Getting Pregnant, But Not The Men Who Get Them Pregnant?

“Who made it into [insert year] without getting pregnant?”

I hear other jokes and statements shaming women who get pregnant everywhere all the time, including on social media. As if women get pregnant by themselves. As if pregnancy isn’t a natural part of life. Where does this shaming come from?

I believe that not only is it a form of misogyny and sexism, it is also a scapegoat for men so they won’t have to take responsibility for getting a woman pregnant or the child after birth.

This has to stop because as I have said in another blog post, men are just as responsible for pregnancy as women are. If you don’t want a child, either don’t have sex or use condoms. Don’t shame a woman for getting pregnant when you were just as willing to lay down as she was.

I am against people having children irresponsibly very much; willingly having unprotected sex knowing they aren’t ready for or don’t want children. But we’re not going to sit here and be hypocritical and one-sided and not hold men to the same accountable standard and act like women have to be more responsible in these situations than men. And we’re not going to use irresponsible pregnancy as an excuse to only shame women, either. Both men and women are equally responsible. It takes two to get pregnant!

The shaming of women for getting pregnant is just downright ridiculous and dumb. Let’s start putting men in check about these things.

Shaving: Is It Necessary?

(Photo: Flickr)
Shaving is made to be a really big deal in our society, especially amongst women. This post will be focused on women shaving. Is it as necessary as it is made out to be?

I remember first having the idea of shaving my arms and legs probably when I was about twelve or thirteen years old. I felt so ashamed and disgusted of my body hair. All throughout my teenage years, I saw so many girls with smooth legs and arms and would feel bad because I felt like I was the only girl that haven’t shaved. Of course, I saw the many commercials on television about shaving products that showed women with perfectly smooth legs. I’ve always wanted my legs to look like that. I never wore shorts, skirts, or short sleeved shirts because I was so ashamed of my body hair.

I would ask my mom if she would buy me some razors or if it’s okay for me to shave. She would always tell me, “No. They’re just trying to sell that stuff. You don’t need to shave.” My mom never believed in shaving. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her shave in my life.

Of course, I didn’t believe her whenever she told me that. It was really disappointing when she never got me any razors or let me shave. I thought I had TOO MUCH hair. There is a such thing as TOO MUCH hair, right?

But, one day, I found a disposable razor in the house. It was probably from one of my brothers. My mom was gone to work. I was so happy! I took that razor and shaved my arms and legs. Sure, I had a few cuts because I didn’t have any shaving cream and it was my first time shaving, but it was worth it. I was hairless. I had no more unwanted hair! I’ve been shaving my body since that day.

But as I got older, I realized that my hair would grow back very fast. It seemed like it grew back as soon as I cut it. And, on top of that, my legs are pretty big and since I have a little height on me, they’re quite long, too. And that’s just my legs alone. That’s not even counting the other places I shave. So, shaving my body would take a really long time to do.

I started to feel like taking all this time shaving just wasn’t worth it if it’s going to grow back so fast. But I just knew I still wanted a smooth, hairless body like the women I saw on TV. So, I continued to shave, despite how long it took and how fast it grew back.

A few years ago, I talked to one of my dad’s friends about wanting to shave my legs. She told me, “You don’t need to shave. Your legs are beautiful the way they are. Besides, razors cut you up.” She basically said the same thing my mom said.

This story leads me to today. I recently did some research on women shaving. I wanted to know where it came from and why it is such a big deal in our society. During my research, I found that shaving wasn’t really a big deal here before the 20th century because women used to wear big dresses that pretty much covered their whole bodies, so people didn’t see women’s body hair very much. But after the 20th century, shorter dresses and skirts were invented. That’s when a lot of shaving companies began to promote smooth bodies and advertise shaving to women. More revealing swimsuits began to be invented as well. At that point, shaving companies began to target women for underarm hair.

So, my mother was right all along. They push all these ads because they ARE trying to sell this stuff! They want women to feel some type of way about their body hair so they can spend billions of dollars on shavers, razors, waxes, depilatories, shaving creams, and many other hair removal products. But something tells me it’s far deeper than advertisers wanting to make money off of making women feel some type of way about their bodies.

Why did they feel the need to target women on their body hair in the first place? Men can have just as much body hair as they want and they’re never made to feel ashamed of it. Of course, shaving companies market to them, too, but it’s like they can choose whether or not to shave and still be accepted by society. Women can’t. Women just either have to shave or be deemed as unattractive.

I never really found a good answer to this question of why women seem to be targeted more for their body hair than men, but it sounds like it comes from sexism and misogyny. I think it’s part of trying to make women feel ashamed of themselves and unequal to men.

Shaving is not necessary. Body hair doesn’t hurt anyone. We have just been conditioned to be disgusted by hair that grows on/in certain places, especially on women. People should not be pressured into shaving, no matter how much body hair they have or where it is. Body hair is completely natural. There’s a reason why it grows back so fast after shaving it. It belongs there!

We should all be free to accept our natural bodies as they are. As a matter of fact, I feel like most women wouldn’t shave at all if they weren’t made to feel ashamed of their body hair—much like men. Women shave because they’ve been told for many years that their body hair is unattractive.