Should Paddling Be Allowed In Schools?

(Photo: Flickr)

I remember when I was very little that some of the teachers used to paddle kids who misbehaved in school. Nowadays, paddling has been outlawed in schools in most states. Currently, it’s legal in only 19 states in the U.S. As a child, I didn’t think much of paddling. I thought it was normal and that’s just what adults did to discipline misbehaved children. But now that I’m an adult, I’m angry that paddling was ever allowed in schools at all.

One major reason is because I don’t think adults should be putting their hands on children, especially children that’s not their own! The idea of adults hitting children never sat well with me. It makes me think of child abuse, even if it is just a couple of little taps.

And thinking back on how a lot of my teachers were when I was little, I think many of them got a rise out of hitting children and looked for any reason to do it. I remember some kids getting paddled for talking in class or coming back from the bathroom a few minutes late. Although I do think those types of actions need some type of disciplinary action to prevent it from continuously happening, I don’t think paddling a child for that is necessary. I think some school staff were just power hungry and needed to feel a sense of power.

The other reason is, I believe disciplining children should be the parents’ job and the parents’ job only. No one else should have to discipline your children for you. No one else should have to tell your children to be quiet, sit down, pay attention, come to class on time, listen to the teacher, and do their work. Your child should already know how to behave at school. Your child should already know to listen and do their work.

A friend of mine has very disobedient children and they always bring them around me. I always have to tell them to stop doing this and stop doing that. And since the children aren’t mine, I feel very uncomfortable doing that. I can only imagine how a teacher would feel dealing with these types of kids. If your child needs to be disciplined outside your home, either your disciplinary actions don’t work and you need to change it (or you have none and need to get some immediately) or your child may have a disorder and you need to check it out.

I also read an article that said black and disabled children are paddled in school more than any other children. So, I believe paddling may have some subtle racist undertones and/or adults having lack of patience with children. You need a TON of patience to deal with disabled (mentally & physically) children.

I believe that is a huge problem with many adults today. They have no patience with children. Children are still learning and growing. They require patience to help them grow to the best they can be. If you’re not patient when it comes to children, you shouldn’t work in a school or be a parent.

On the flip side, even though I don’t agree with paddling children, I understand why it was allowed. A lot of children are REALLY bad and disobedient. And a lot of parents send them to school for poor teachers and other kids to deal with, KNOWING those kids are bad! I’ve heard stories about teachers telling parents about their bad kids and the parents would either do nothing or get mad at the teachers like they’re lying. That is sad!

RAISE AND DISCIPLINE YOUR OWN CHILDREN! Stop putting your bad ass kids on other people! Deal with them yourself!

Scorned Mother vs. Abandoning Father

I caught D.L. Hughley’s radio show one day and the topic was, ‘Who hurts a child more, a scorned mother or an abandoning father?’ I don’t remember what any of the callers’ answers were on the show, but to me, it seems like this question is trying to shift blame from one parent to the other, so one parent will feel like they aren’t hurting the child more than the other.

A scorned mother and an abandoning father BOTH equally hurt a child. If it takes two people to make a child, it should take two people to raise a child.

A scorned mother can hurt a child by mistreating or abusing the child just because he or she reminds her of the father. They can also use the child as a tool to get back at the father for hurting them. They can do this by keeping the child away from the father when the father wants to see them or pushing the child onto the father when he wants nothing to do with the child. And they can speak badly about the child’s father and other men in general in front of them, which causes them to have anger, trust, and/or identity issues.

An abandoning father can make a child feel like it’s their fault that their father is no longer in their lives. They can make a child feel rejected and neglected, therefore lowering their self-esteem, and they can feel hostile and aggressive. They can develop a disdain for other men and male authority figures, which can cause them many problems as they grow up. The abandoning father can make their child feel the same emotional and behavioral problems as a scorned mother.

Both of these types of parents can cause behavioral and emotional problems that the child will carry with them well into adulthood. Both fathers and mothers have to step up to the plate and do a better job as parents because many times, lots of parents don’t realize the damage that their actions and choices are giving to their children. We have to stop trying to shift blame and trying to make one person feel more guilty for something when we’re ALL guilty.

A mother should never speak badly about their child’s father in front of them, never mistreat the child for what the father did, and never try to use the child as a tool to get back at the father. The same goes for fathers. And a father should always be involved in their children’s lives. If things don’t work out with the mother in a relationship, they should not make that child suffer by completely severing the relationship with them. There are ways a child can see both parents without the parents being involved with each other. A child should always have equal time around their parents, whether they’re still together or not.

People need to stop having children and doing this to them. It’s extremely damaging and unfair to them.