Who Hates Accountability More: Men or Women?

For years, I’ve seen men on social media talk about how women hate accountability. But judging by what a lot of men do, I see they hate accountability, too. You would think that by the way they pressure women about accountability, they would have no problem with accountability themselves. But that’s obviously and certainly not the case.

Whenever I see women talk about how men cheat on them or abuse them, there’s always men underneath there saying, “That’s just the men y’all deal with!” Instead of calling out these abusive, cheating men. Instead of NOT cheating and NOT abusing women, they tell women that it’s their fault for “choosing the wrong men”.

Men’s responses under posts where women are talking about sexual harassment and rape disgust me, too. Instead of listening to the message women are giving, they’ll act like they don’t know what counts as rape, sexual harassment or consent. Instead of NOT raping and sexually harassing women, they will tell women to “watch what they wear” or “watch how they act around men”.

I’ve even heard men say if women “armed themselves more” or learned some type of self defense, they wouldn’t get raped or sexually harassed. So, instead of NOT raping women and telling other men not to do it, they would rather tell women to be more dangerous, violent, and threatening. And what about little girls that get raped by grown men? Because that’s definitely happening all over the world! Men don’t just rape and sexually harass grown women. They get little girls, too. Are little girls supposed to have guns or know how to defend herself against a grown man?

I’ve been hearing men complain about women putting them on child support since I was a little girl. But if they took care of their children instead of impregnating multiple women and trying to run out on them, they wouldn’t have that problem. If they weren’t so quick to sleep with women without protection, they wouldn’t have that problem. Sometimes, I hear some men say that they do want to be in their child’s lives, but it’s the woman who keeps them away and put them on child support anyway for the money. That’s a fair argument. But when women say men do bad things to them, men tell them to “choose better men”. How come this doesn’t apply to them? How come they can’t choose better women? If they chose better women, they wouldn’t have that problem. …But they don’t want to hear that!

I see YouTubers like Derrick Jaxn and celebrities like Steve Harvey telling women what to look for in a man, how to attract a man, which men to avoid, and this, that, and the other. But none of these men are telling other men to change how they treat women. They’re always talking to women and telling women what to do. Why is that?

And if you ask me, I’m starting to think these types of men who are always telling women which men to avoid are the exact men women should avoid. I think a lot of these men are warning women about themselves when they do that, pretending that they’re talking about other men. And I think a lot of them don’t even realize that they are warning women about themselves when they do that because I think it’s something in their subconscious that’s doing that for them.

Men talk like they hate single moms soooo much on social media. They say that single moms ruin kids lives, but none of them talk about how they create single moms. If single moms are so bad, why do men keep creating them? A woman never gets pregnant by herself. Men who impregnate women and leave them are the ones creating single moms. They’re literally complaining about their own problem that THEY create, but try to blame women for it, like it’s just the woman’s fault. Stop impregnating women you don’t want kids with. ….But they don’t want to hear that!

It sounds to me that men hate accountability just as much as they claim women hate accountability, especially when it comes to disrespecting and abusing women. They always have an excuse for why they do things that they aren’t supposed to. Men hating accountability is also why they put the blame on women for so many things that they do. This is why they want women to “choose better men” instead of BEING BETTER MEN.

I believe this is why they pressure women with accountability so much anyway. Men hate accountability so much, that they want women to be more accountable for their actions than men are for theirs, so they won’t have to be accountable for theirs. If women are more accountable than them, they don’t have to worry about being accountable for what they do—that’s what I feel like men are saying when they talk so much about accountability to women.

I believe this society was built and is run by people who hate accountability, particularly men and that’s why so many people in this society hate it. So if you ask me, I think women hate accountability for their actions and so do men. Men are NOT more accountable for their own actions than women, no matter what they say!

What Is A Mistake?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary website, a mistake is 1) a wrong judgement or misunderstanding; 2) a wrong action or statement proceeding faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge, or inattention. In my own words, a mistake is a wrong thing someone does or says, but wasn’t intending to. For example, you writing too quickly and you accidentally misspell something because of it and you have to erase. Or grabbing something out the fridge and it slips out of your hands and breaks. You didn’t throw it on the floor on purpose. It just slipped out of your hand.

Many people call things “mistakes” that aren’t mistakes. They’re CHOICES. But because they regret it later, they want to soften what they did, so instead of admitting they made a poor choice, they’ll say they “made a mistake”.

“I made a mistake and cheated on my spouse.”

“I made a mistake and said something I shouldn’t have said out of anger.”

“I made a mistake and wore blackface and called someone a racial slur.”

“I made a mistake and raped someone.”

“I made a mistake and abused someone.”

“I made a mistake and bullied someone.”

So many people say things like this and claim they are mistakes. These aren’t mistakes because all people know right from wrong. We were taught since we were babies right from wrong. It’s up to us to CHOOSE right or wrong. A lot of people CHOOSE to do WRONG things, then don’t want to own up to their choice.

You knew you were in a relationship/married when you slept with someone that wasn’t your partner. It’s not like you didn’t know you were already with someone. You knew doing that was wrong, which is why you did it behind your partner’s back and lied about it. You knew sleeping with someone that wasn’t your partner would hurt them…but you did it anyway. Now that you got caught and you see the hurt on your partner’s face, you want to say it was “a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

Everyone knows wearing blackface is racist. Everyone knows what racial slurs are. You went online and did it anyway. And now that you’re getting dragged for it (like you should), you want to claim you “made a mistake”. No. You made A CHOICE!

When you picked on that kid in school for whatever reason, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew the kid would be and was hurt by it. But you did it anyway. And kept doing it. You didn’t “make a mistake” and become a bully. You made A CHOICE!

When you had sex without a condom or birth control, you knew beforehand that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. You don’t sleep around unprotected, then say “I made a mistake and now I’m pregnant” or “I made a mistake and got somebody pregnant”. You made A CHOICE!

Instead of saying, “We’re all human and we all make mistakes”, I want us to start saying, “We’re all human and we all make CHOICES”. We have to start being more honest with ourselves and admitting that we CHOOSE to do bad things sometimes.

A lot of people like using “free will” as excuse to absolve themselves from accountability for bad choices as well. Yes we have free will to choose what we want to do, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to what we do or that what we do won’t hurt someone else.

I believe that if more of us admitted to making bad choices instead of calling our bad choices “mistakes”, we will think twice about doing certain things. If we keep calling our bad choices “mistakes”, a lot of us won’t try to do better because in our heads, we’re not doing anything wrong. We’re just “making mistakes”.

If We ACTUALLY SAW The Bad Things Celebrities Do, Would We Still Love Them?

I remember an episode from The Simpsons where Bart idolized an actor named Buck McCoy. Bart saw him as a hero until one day, he saw him drunk and found out he was an alcoholic. Bart was crushed. He tore down all his posters and everything he had of Buck. It made me think if this is what celebrities are like in real life. Being total trainwrecks behind the scenes, but on television day in and day out being idolized by millions of people and being seen as heroes. Millions of people look up to them, thinking they’re so perfect and inspiring, and want to be just like them. Then some of those fans end up finding out about them being trainwrecks and are seriously heartbroken.

I thought I was thinking too hard until I think about their music/movies, interviews, biopics, and news stories. They admit to and get caught doing the most craziest and devastating things. They admit to being alcoholics, serious drug addicts, fighting their friends, sleeping around with nobody knows how many people (some of them have admitted that they slept with so many people, they can’t even count themselves!), and the list goes on and on. They even get caught or admit to criminal crimes, such as rape and murder!

So many celebrities do some of the craziest things imaginable, yet so many of us still love them. Even when they get caught on camera doing something crazy, there’s still so many of us who defend and still love them. Why is this?

What I’m thinking is that people have to ACTUALLY SEE WITH THEIR OWN EYES these things that celebrities do, like Bart Simpson did with his idol. I think we downplay the things they do & admit to because we didn’t personally see them doing these things ourselves. It’s much easier for us to cast something out of our heads when we don’t see it ourselves. Also, I think we do this because we still want to love them.

I’m thinking of the time when Ariana Grande got caught on camera licking a donut. What if she was never caught doing that and the store sold that donut to someone without knowing she had licked it? After the video was released, she gave an apology, which I think was filled with an excuse. She said she was just “disgusted with Americans’ eating habits” and “childhood obesity rates”. That shouldn’t be a reason to go lick a donut! To me, the apology only sounded like she was sorry because she got caught. Yet, many people forgave her and she still has so many fans. Would they have forgiven her if they ACTUALLY SAW her doing that? Not on camera in a video. But actually there seeing her do that. How would they feel if they were right behind her watching her as she did that?

I’m thinking of the story of Chris Brown beating Rihanna. I’ve heard rumors saying the story was fake and was an attempt to smear Chris Brown for some reason. I don’t know if it’s fake or not. But let’s stick to saying it’s real for now. So many people forgave him, even Rihanna herself, for beating her like that. Some people forgave him immediately when the story broke. What if people are only saying the story is fake because they don’t want to believe he did it? What if people ACTUALLY SAW him beating her like that? What would they be thinking? Would they be so forgiving after seeing it with their own eyes? Would they still want to be such huge fans? There’s stories about Rihanna hitting him on the night of the incident as well and they say that’s what escalated it. Yet, people only talk about Chris beating her and when it is brought up, people either ignore it or make excuses. She still has many fans, too. What if people were ACTUALLY THERE seeing with THEIR OWN EYES her hitting Chris Brown? Would they be so forgiving then?

I watched a few biopics over the years, but the Ray Charles story with Jamie Foxx is what I’m going to use as an example here. In the movie, he was shown doing drugs and skipping out on his wife for years, amongst other bad things. So many celebrity biopics are this exact same way. Yet, Ray Charles, too, still has many fans. I remember when the movie first came out and hearing so many people praising it. Jamie Foxx even won an Oscar for that movie. If people actually saw Ray Charles doing drugs and leaving with women that weren’t his wife and treating his wife the way he was treating her as the movie depicted, would they still be huge fans?

When most of us hear these stories about celebrities, we usually respond with saying things like, “We shouldn’t judge”, “Nobody’s perfect”, “Everybody makes mistakes”. But would we say that if we saw them or would we be singing a completely different tune?

If we actually saw with our own eyes the bad things these celebrities admit to and get caught doing? If we actually saw them doing massive amounts of drugs, drinking themselves to an early grave, raping someone, killing someone, hurting someone, saying bad things about others? Cheating on someone they claim to love? If we actually saw them doing these things? If we were actually there, watching them with our own eyes, when they were doing these things, would we be so forgiving and still be huge fans?

Or would we be devastated and heartbroken, like Bart Simpson?